PHAT Girlz boycotting meaningless consolation game

PHAT Girlz boycotting meaningless consolation game

Four whole days after week 15 gameplay was finished, Friday morning scoring adjustments bumped Monique from the 2018 PSAS championship game. As late as Thursday, PHAT Girlz were still in the championship. And then 11th hour shenanigans reared their corrupt head.

Score on Monday night:

 Score on Friday, after consultation with special PSAS advisor Brian Kemp:

Roquon Smith’s additional point, gifted to him four days after the end of week 15, raises serious questions about the integrity of the league. Monique’s 11 game winning streak seemed in doubt after James Conner and Cooper Kupp went down but a heroic effort kept a dream season alive, which seemed settled when Yahoo posted the stupid recap article on Wednesday, which is STILL viewable as of today:

 

As further proof of disenfranchisement, I am too stupid to figure out how to log in to the blog to post this important message there. And am relegated to advocating for my players via email. A fact only made worse by our prospective championship opponent smugly mansplaining how to access my account:

  Not since Monique was blacklisted from Hollywood  after winning a fucking Oscar has a scandal raised such questions about the integrity of the entire process. In the wake of such a blatant disregard for the spirit of competition and fair play, it is difficult to see how the league will survive.

Stay strong

Monique

Playoff History Statistics At a Glance

The Championship total by seed:

SEED #	# CHAMP	%
#1 SEED	4	44.4%
#2 SEED	1	11.1%
#3 SEED	1	11.1%
#4 SEED	0	0.0%
#5 SEED	1	11.1%
#6 SEED	2	22.2%

Round Outcome by seed:

SEED #	Finals	Semi	Quarter
#1 SEED	7	2
#2 SEED	2	7
#3 SEED	4	1	4
#4 SEED	1	4	4
#5 SEED	1	3	5
#6 SEED	3	1	5

Playoff Appearances and Outcomes by Team:

	Playoff Appearances	1st Place	2nd Place	3rd Place	4th Place	5th Place	6th Place
Building Dwelling Thinking	7	1	1	0	2	0	2
TakingTigerMountain	7	1	1	2	1	1	1
Aethernauts	7	0	1	0	2	4	0
San Francisco Ferries	6	1	1	1	2	0	1
Phat Girlz	6	1	1	1	1	0	1
Trichs	5	3	2	0	0	0	0
Pelican Brief	5	0	0	1	1	2	1
Psychdog	5	1	0	0	1	0	2
Polk High Panthers	3	0	0	0	0	1	2
Homespun	2	1	1	0	0	0	0
Grossman Sachs	2	0	1	1	0	0	0
Brooklyn Bashers	1	0	0	1	0	0	0
Tusken Raiders	1	0	0	0	0	1	0
Goslings	1	0	1	0	0	0	0
Dijonaise	1	0	0	1	0	0	0
Cursed	1	0	0	1	0	0	0

The 4 seed vs 5 seed match up:

SEED #	# VICTORY	%
#4 SEED	5	55.6%
#5 SEED	4	44.4%

The 3 seed vs 6 seed match up:

SEED #	# VICTORY	%
#3 SEED	5	55.6%
#6 SEED	4	44.4%

Week 9 Surf Talk With the General

"here comes the sutton" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teq5PNLh_i4

Week 4 Picks: Cronenberg Edition

There's a David Cronenberg retrospective happening in LA right now, so Cronenberg flicks will be this week's Winamp skin for the PSAS picks....

Polk High v. psych dog – Dead Ringers

Carson Wentz and Nick Foles aren’t twins like Jeremy Irons’ characters in this psychodrama, but who knows what kind of kinky psychological connection they’ve developed after Foles won the Superbowl in Wentz’s place (that’s essentially the same as sleeping with your twin brother’s girlfriend, right?)

Phat Girlz v. Ferries – The Fly

We half expect that Patrick Mahomes’s genes were spliced with a fly a la Cronenberg’s classic remake. Any week now he’ll transform into a revolting human-fly hybrid (Brundlemahomes – it doesn’t actually make sense but it sounds cool).

Blood Spinners v. TTM – Crash

In “Crash,” the protagonist’s sex life is rekindled when he and his wife start using car accidents as foreplay. But it takes them down a dangerous road…kind of like Mike Evans rekindling his receiving career by catching passes from Ryan Fitzpatrick.

BDT v. Pelicans – eXistenZ

In the past Gronk has played like he was in a video game, lighting up defenses with impunity. But judging from the past couple of weeks, he may feel like he’s being chased around virtual reality by an assassin with a flesh gun instead of racking up touchdowns in Madden.

Trichs v. g0dbank – A History of Violence

Dalvin Cook and Melvin Gordon III are no slouches, but any RBs going up against Todd Gurley this season are bound to get their faces smashed in—figuratively, of course—a la the Irish mob baddies who come looking for Viggo Mortensen in this late-stage Cronenberg morality play.

Nauts v. Mustards – Videodrome

Brandin Cooks and Adam Thielen were swallowing footballs like James Woods’s stomach swallowed the gun in “Videodrome.” We’ll see how the rest of this duel plays out later today, but right now the Nauts have the edge.

Power Rankings Week 3 - Brought to you by Nestle

1. BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng - The beautiful green color is just the beginning-- green tea Kit Kats are exquisitely rich and smooth. Is the Fitzpatrick bubble ready to burst? Can AJ Green keep up his pace? Green tea calms the nerves. 

2. psych dog - Strawberry cheese cake Kit Kats are the perfect balance between tart strawberry and creamy cheesecake flavoring.  Just like the balance between Kamara and Thomas in the Saints offense juggernaut. If Wentz is again a top five QB option that could be the key to a bye.















3.  GrossmanSachs - Apple vinegar Kit Kats. Yes please. Nothing else combines the crunch of a Kit Kat with the aroma of your Aunt's newly mopped floors. The familiar scent of the playoffs is in play with Watson throwing from behind every game and Gurley running downhill. The Sexy Rexies could use the vinegar to polish the trophy we've been promised for so long.

4. Phat Girlz - Have you ever even had a purple sweet potato? Well trust me it tastes just like this Kit Kat.  If Bell ever shows up this team will run roughshod over the league. If not he and the purple sweet potato are just a beautiful dream.

5.  Dijonnaise All-Stars - Wasabi goes great on anything. Especially crunchy, crispy Chocolate of Kit Kats.  Over time we know that zombie teams list and then sink, but with top shelf spices like Brees and Brown the zombie mustard could keep for a while.

6. HomeSpunNeckBloodz - Sakura roasted Soy Bean. Evoke the feeling and taste of the Cherry Blossom festival in Brooklyn Botanic Garden with a bite of this treat. The Bloodz would doubtless like to evoke the memory of Jameis Winston sooner rather than later and exorcise ghosts of past Tampa titrations.








7.  AEthernauts - Chocobanana. Now we're talking! Put these on a penut butter and jelly sandwich and consume at 4 AM. Rivers has been lightning in a bottle, but we've seen him disappear into obscurity before.









8. Trichotillomaniacs Lemon. Tart, delicious, and your dose of vitamin C to prevent scurvy.  The Trichs ceiling is just as tall as the Cam-dy man grows this season.

9. TakingTigerMountain - Corn it's in everything from our plastic to our whiskey. Is there anything corn can't do? Cousins got cornholed by the Buffalo Bills last week. TTM hopes that's an aberration, otherwise they've already passed on two great early season replacements. 

10. ThePelicanBrief - Grape, it's a purple world with your sizzurp and you're grape Kit Kats. With Rodger, Gronk and Jimmy Graham the Brief hopes that 2011 is back in style in a big way.









11. Polk High Panthers - pineapple is the perfect flavoring if you never have to open the fruit itself.  Likewise the Panthers are tasty but don't dig to deep.

12.SanFranciscoFerries - Chocolate is great. Seafood is great. Eventually I will realize how great they are together. Brady, Julio and Fournette? Sweet sweet chocolate seafood.