"Makes you wonder how much they owe. Most of them are on the run. Don't even use their fucking social security numbers. If there was just some way to find out how much the motherfuckers owe and making them pay." - Bud, "Repo Man"
We lost an American icon last week with the death of Harry Dean Stanton, best known to many of the PSAS faithful for his role as Bud in "Repo Man," aka the Great American Novel of the '80s. A latter-day cowboy in a dime store suit and tie, Bud's tragic flaw was his true faith in the American Gospel of Bullshit--the righteous celebration of a golden loop between creditor and debtor through which the mysteries of the rugged U.S. meritocracy reveal themselves. Of course, as he died on his feet amid a hail of bullets from an L.A. police helicopter, Bud couldn't see that the fix was in. Twenty-five years after 1984 (the year of the film), the financial crisis and Great Recession put to bed the notion that merit, in any common-sense meaning of the term, is the final arbiter of Who Gets Paid when the chips are down. And in the present day, the legal and political winds blow towards an attack on the rights of Bud's spiritual heirs to even own their own shit (go check on your John Deere tractor, lest you doubt). Even if the IMDb bros who gave "Repo Man" a 6.9 out of 10 don't realize it, Stanton's performance still echoes through time, to our present day moment of simmering political rage. RIP.
Now, turning to our own collective ritual of ersatz ownership, on to the Week 3 picks (predicted winner in bold)....
Bloodz vs. Ferries
The Bloodz's twin towers aerial attack of Jones and Jeffery faces off against a Ferries team hamstrung by the moribund Seattle offense, with Wilson and Lockett underwhelming so far. The Seahawks' offensive line woes, plus the prospect of Dalvin Cook repeatedly slamming into a stacked box, should give the Bloodz an opening in this one, the claims of Yahoo's algorithmic oracles notwithstanding.
Dijonnaise vs. TTM
Last week the Mustards confounded Your Humble Blogger's prediction of a blowout loss despite hints of robo-management (cf. the start of an injured Jordy Nelson), edging the Ferries in a low-scoring affair. But TTM looms this week, primed by a strong showing from Hyde in a surprisingly lively Thursday night Rams-Niners contest. The Mountain will hope to keep riding its RBs, with Gilleslee's goal line duties for the Patriots shaping up as a sound week-to-week investment.
Girlz vs. psych dog
Though the win probabilities after Thursday night peg this one as a tossup, a cloud of ennui and doubt hangs over the Dachshunds' starting RBs, with political dunce Shady facing a stout Denver run defense and Zeke Elliott's focus thrown into question by his impending domestic abuse hearing. A garbled transmission from the gods tells us to give the Girlz the edge, with Ryan, Cooper and Tyreek Hill poised to explode in potential shootouts.
Nauts vs. BDT 
This year's 4th Rich bowl pits last week's high-scorers against each other (and we're dusting off Zeus's thunderbolt for BDT). The lede here is an injury-riddled BDT squad, with Tom Waits's "Blue Valentine" playing on an endless loop on WinAmp in the Heideggerians' locker room. While Brady, Evans, and folk hero Beastmode make for a worthy headlining trio, a lack of depth elsewhere in the starting lineup could spell doom against a Nauts squad powered by the scorching Kareem Hunt and Antonio Brown, who may feast on the Bears.
Polk High vs. Pelicans
The Pelicans dipped to the lower arc of the Wheel of Fortune last week, losing to the Nauts despite putting up the fifth-highest score in the league. Sadly, they may have to endure the mocking laughter of the Fates for the second straight week, as they face a Polk High franchise blessed by a slate of favorable offensive matchups for Roethlisberger, Benjamin, Montgomery, and Landry while their own roster struggles with poor matchups and a banged-up Gronk.
Trichs vs. Hanging w Hooper
Even with knowledge of Thursday night's beasting by Todd Gurley (who's looking like a great buy-relatively-low investment by the Trichs so far), it's hard to call this one--these squads are currently mirror images of one another, with a star RB surrounded by question marks at the other positions. Even though Bell may very well approach Gurley's production when he takes on the Bears, you know what they say...31.90 points in the hand is worth 63.80 points in the bush....
Picks record to date: 2-4
Bloodz vs. Ferries
The Bloodz's twin towers aerial attack of Jones and Jeffery faces off against a Ferries team hamstrung by the moribund Seattle offense, with Wilson and Lockett underwhelming so far. The Seahawks' offensive line woes, plus the prospect of Dalvin Cook repeatedly slamming into a stacked box, should give the Bloodz an opening in this one, the claims of Yahoo's algorithmic oracles notwithstanding.
Dijonnaise vs. TTM
Last week the Mustards confounded Your Humble Blogger's prediction of a blowout loss despite hints of robo-management (cf. the start of an injured Jordy Nelson), edging the Ferries in a low-scoring affair. But TTM looms this week, primed by a strong showing from Hyde in a surprisingly lively Thursday night Rams-Niners contest. The Mountain will hope to keep riding its RBs, with Gilleslee's goal line duties for the Patriots shaping up as a sound week-to-week investment.
Girlz vs. psych dog
Though the win probabilities after Thursday night peg this one as a tossup, a cloud of ennui and doubt hangs over the Dachshunds' starting RBs, with political dunce Shady facing a stout Denver run defense and Zeke Elliott's focus thrown into question by his impending domestic abuse hearing. A garbled transmission from the gods tells us to give the Girlz the edge, with Ryan, Cooper and Tyreek Hill poised to explode in potential shootouts.
This year's 4th Rich bowl pits last week's high-scorers against each other (and we're dusting off Zeus's thunderbolt for BDT). The lede here is an injury-riddled BDT squad, with Tom Waits's "Blue Valentine" playing on an endless loop on WinAmp in the Heideggerians' locker room. While Brady, Evans, and folk hero Beastmode make for a worthy headlining trio, a lack of depth elsewhere in the starting lineup could spell doom against a Nauts squad powered by the scorching Kareem Hunt and Antonio Brown, who may feast on the Bears.
Polk High vs. Pelicans
The Pelicans dipped to the lower arc of the Wheel of Fortune last week, losing to the Nauts despite putting up the fifth-highest score in the league. Sadly, they may have to endure the mocking laughter of the Fates for the second straight week, as they face a Polk High franchise blessed by a slate of favorable offensive matchups for Roethlisberger, Benjamin, Montgomery, and Landry while their own roster struggles with poor matchups and a banged-up Gronk.
Trichs vs. Hanging w Hooper
Even with knowledge of Thursday night's beasting by Todd Gurley (who's looking like a great buy-relatively-low investment by the Trichs so far), it's hard to call this one--these squads are currently mirror images of one another, with a star RB surrounded by question marks at the other positions. Even though Bell may very well approach Gurley's production when he takes on the Bears, you know what they say...31.90 points in the hand is worth 63.80 points in the bush....
Picks record to date: 2-4
Tense situations, kid. You get into five or six of 'em a day, it don't mean shit anymore
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