Week 2 P0W3R R4NK1NGZ

Week 1 is in the bags as elite teams cement their fort.  Girlz, Dijon, Nauts, and TTM separated themselves early from the bunch with their respective convincing wins.  Until further notice, these are the teams to beat, folks.


(1) Phat Girlz 1-0

Girlz beat the Ferries in Week 1 rematch of 2014 championship to hold on to the top spot of this year’s ranking.  Luck left something more to be desired on the table despite putting up decent fantasy points.  The real story here is Carlos Hyde, who’s emergence as a bell cow back in Santa Clara plugs up what was seemingly the Girlz only weakspot at the backfield.

Next Up:  Monique vs Gronk, Girlz meet hungry Pelican

Frank Who?  Newest Phat Girl Carlos could provide some lipids

(2)  Dijonnaise All-Stars 1-0

Colonel’s troops defeated Bundys easily in the opening week.  Keeper A-Rodg is still the best QB in the NFL, and the Mustards are content to ride on his shoulder.  Brandon Marshal proved to be WR1 even without Cutler, duh.  The RBBC-bound backfield faired ok, and the defense was solid to keep the Yellows in tier-one… for now.

Next Up:  Dijon faces a tough test in pesky psych dog

(3)   AEthernauts 1-0

The Space Travellers took care of business against the Dwellers rather comfortably thanks to a rocksteady all-around performances throughout the lineup.  The Nauts look like a genius (a la Yahoo) after starting the Saints receiver Coleman at Flex.  RB Forsett was the lone mole on the face for the Nauts, but he played against Denver defense that, in my opinion, is as good as the days of Orange Crush, so he’ll bounce back.  This Nauts is a dangerous bunch moving forward.

Next Up: Nauts are ready to take on Romo-led Curses. with TE Witten still very much alive

(4) TakingTigerMountain  1-0

Daniel-San Dojo defeated Gronk-led Kobra Kai Pelicans in a fiercely contested match, and frankly deserve to be ranked higher after scoring the league’s highest total in Week 1.  The teams above except for SFF won rather dandily and had to be moved up as well, so TTM wraps up this year’s opening week stud franchises.  Eli was less than mediocre in the blood-shed, but Brown, Hopkins, Ingram, Forte and Marty-B all showed up.  Andre Ellington’s injury is a bit of concern, but they have lived-up-to-preseason-hype Abdullah on bench, so no worries.

Next Up:  TTM heads for another tough titration match, this time against Bloodz with Matty-ICE and Julio

(5) psych dog 1-0

The Dogz are for realz!  They chewed up on the Bloodz behind ageless Carson Palmer as the top-dog.  Jeremy Hill is one of the few true bell-cow back this year and he’ll continue to produce rocksteady points for the Pix, while DT will surely put up WR1 numbers against lesser defenses than Baltimore.  AP’s lack of production in week 1 is the only cloud cast in the dogland.

Next Up:  Big challenge ahead as Dogz take on second-ranked Dijon in a closely projected match

(6)  SanFranciscoFerries  0-1

The Boatmen dropped a tough opening match against the Girlz.  Ferries are probably as concerned about Peyton’s lack of zip as I am, but it’s too early to be searching for the panic button.  I’ve only said this 28 times; Peyton is still Peyton.  His off-day just coincided with AJ Green’s, who also was quiet in the Bengals romp of Oakland.  Keenan Allen bounce-back is a bright spot moving forward on the other hand.

Next Up:  Ferries try to regroup against Polk High to avoid a skid like several seasons ago

(7)  BuildingDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng  0-1

Opening Sunday was tough for the Dwellers, as they lost their cover-boy Dez to fracture and lost their match against the Nauts.  There just wasn’t enough air in Santa Cruz, as Newly-acquired Tannehill didn’t really put-up numbers that some thought he could against the Skins, plus Tate and Olsen also were quiet.  DeAngelo Williams look to be a solid RB2 behind Lynch-Mob for the time being, which is a bright spot in a tough situation for BDT.

Next Up:  Trade partners face off with Cam’s Trix vs Olsen’s BDT

(8)  ThePelicanBrief  0-1

The Pelican came out with a statement on Thursday night with a solid game by Defraty and a monster game by Gronk.  The effort wasn’t enough to defeat the highest-scoring TTM, but it was enough to make the Pelicans the only team this week to move up in ranking after Week 1 loss.  Change-of-pace backfield of Mathews and Woodhead, former RBBC partners themselves, did ok, but the receiver corp after the Brady bunch are rather lackluster so far.  Brady’s understudy is Mariota, too bad he has same bye as Brady. 

Next Up:  Another tough battle ahead for Pelican with champion Monique in town

(9)  Trichotillomaniacs  1-0

The Hairpullers are off to a good start in 2015 thanks to a bell-cow effort by Chris Ivory, Denver D and JJ Watt.  Newly-acquired John Brown proved productive out of the Flex, while waiver-pick up pair of Wright and Walker can benefit from Mariota’s quick emergence.  The Far East Rulaz secured the win early on Sunday and could afford going kicker-less on Monday in picking up a fringe roster player named Darren Sproles.  This looks like another Trix with high production from waivers and low production from their high draft picks.  If the Pullers want to get to the playoffs, the likes of CJ Anderson and Brandin Cooks need to produce more.

Next Up:  Historically tough matchup against BDT is a good litmus test for the Far East Rulaz


(10)  HomeSpunNeckBloodz  0-1

Staying true to their style, the Atlantic Avenue Bloodz had a roller-coaster ride of a lineup in Week 1’s defeat to psych dog.  Studs Julio Jones and Kelce were peppered with duds like Smith Sr and Andre Johnson.  These veterans will bounce back and Matty Ice to Julio Jones titration looks cool as the other side of the pillow, so lots of upside in the aerial game.  The ground-attack outlook is not as bright however, unless Blount comes off his suspension blunting.

Next Up:  Schedule doesn’t ease up, as the Bloodz meet TTM

(11)  Polk High Panthers

Al Bundy was a victim of some major Week 1 low-balling, notably by D-Jax, TE Daniels and Kenny Stills.  With pillar players like Brees and Chales and emerging Landry, the Panthers are just a couple of titration (and some weeks of waiting for injuries to heal and suspensions to be over) away from a winning team with the likes of Elfert, Spiller, Martavis, White and Rivers on the bench.

Next Up:  An uphill battle for Bundy to avoid a skid as SFF gets in the way to do the same

(12)  Curses.

The Players Formerly Known As Old Future couldn’t change their fortune with a co-manager and a new franchise name, at least for the opening week.  Maybe the new name brought on some bad juju (hopefully not the co-manager), as cursed they seemed in their sophomore campaign opener against the Trix.  Everybody but Romo decided to low-ball, plus injury bug arrived early with Kuechly going down with concussion.  OBJ and Co. are full of bounce-back potential and exploding upside, so no need to be panicking in the Witchland.

Next Up:  The time-warp crew look to reverse fortune against the space-travelling Nauts

Week 2 P0\/\/3R R4/\/k1/\/gZ

Another fantasy year dawns - Now we've spent the last few nice weeks of summer fussing over our teams, arranging our strategies. I can't help think of the constant refrain of HBO's titties & dragons series Game of Thrones.  To paraphrase, these are the running backs of summer, and Winter is Coming.  Such unquestionable sequential logic, foreboding and of course calendrer-wise acumen.  Winter is always coming in the Fantasy world.  Between now and the championship nothing is certain other than a huge degree of attrition.  So brood over your squad's preparedness and lets get out there and rape and pillage (in the infowar)!   Thanks everybody for an exciting opening week that saw a full round of in-division grudge matches. The range of victory margins ran from razor thin (.2) to country-mile (53.4).  Four out of six of the winners were playoff teams last year with  the Sachs and Spinners crashing the party.  Week 1 even prompted a mega-trade, which by now, you've heard about.  I'm not going to reassess the rankings, but I'll leave it to your imaginations this week and analyze the fallout pattern next time. 


1.) AEthernauts  (Last week - #1) -  1-0
The Balloonists had clear skies for a week 1 victory over Phat Girls, despite never fully inflating their potential.  Mike Vick's body armor produced a win, after four picks.  And Turner Overdrive was decidedly pedestrian in the Falcons aerial assault.  Good work from the Johnson&Johsnon receiver corps was plenty to beat the Girlz.  But with only Dalton backing up Vick we wouldn't be surprised to see the Explorers in the market for a new backup to Vick.

Next week - HomeSpunNeckBloodz   -  The Explorers stay in the Eleatic for a match against fellow victors Bloodz.  They may need a little more air to leap their competition here and stay atop the rankings. 


2.) HomeSpunNeckBloodz (last week 7)   1-0
-their stay near the top may be short-lived, but the Bloodz shocked the world with a resounding victory over the Primordial Ones in Week 1.  They did it by having several players beat expectations - none more so than Peyton Manning.  If Chris Johnson can avoid a repeat of last year's slow start, the Bloodz will be formidable from week to week.    There's a lack of depth here, but quality near the top.  The Spinners need to toss some free agents in the cyclotron, see who spins out a quality week-to-week presence.

Next week - AEthernauts - The Bloodz can prove they're no fluke by besting a playoff team from last year.  If they over perform like week 1, there's no reason they can't get there.

3.) TakingTigerMountain (last week 4)  1-0
-Moving up spot is hard to do when you make the kind of managerial miscues the Mountain performed this week.  Their two top picks, both active but un-popular with the fantasy talking heads, were left on the bench to waste their  week 1 numbers. TTM's five bench players totaled 78 points. Part of the reason for that number (and the main reason for the upgrade) is a handcuff payoff in CJ Spiller.  If Fred Jackson misses serious time he could be the elusive 3rd back for the system.  Eclipsing 100 with what they did use makes them the all around fantasy franchise this week.  If they can straighten out who to start, they should be headed to the top half of the Eleatic.

Next week -  Phat Girlz  - The Mountain shouldn't sleep on Monique's club.  They got lucky this week, but another week of Stafford miscues could expose how heavily invested in Detroit they are.  With a match against a brutal SF defense, is an upset brewing?

4.)  SanFranciscoFerries (last week 2)   1-0
-Better to be lucky than good?  The Ferries narrowly avoided the PSAS "fate worse than death" - a tie.  The Boatmen drew a painful zero from Deangelo, while leaving Greene's points on the bench.  They needed Monday night nailbiting to skim by the Pelicans.  Anytime your kicker is leading your points tally, you might be in trouble.  But when your kicker banks in a 63 yarder off the crossbar, the g0dz have you in their pocket that week.  We'll attribute early-season rust to Cam's frustrations and Cruz droppings, but more than half the league would have taken advantage here.

Next week -  Tusken Raiders - when the tougher-than expected Tuskens come to town the Ferries better have the kinks worked out or else. 

5.) BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng   (last week 3)   1-0
-The BDT faced a bye of sorts against a re-stocking Trichs club, so the victory is 2nd to some important titration.  Fred Jackson's injury is a serious downgrade for a team with a lack of bench depth.  Foster and Rice put in staring roles as expected.  Schaub was passable, but the wideouts looked 2nd tier.  Help could come from Lafell on the bench, but it's hard to rely on him.  The German Philosophers should be active on the wire looking for flex help this week.

Next week -  ThePelicanBrief  - Don't expect the Legal Thrillers to be as tame as last week.  This one won't be a walk in the park. RG3's prospective debut, will make this must see TV.

6.)  GrossmanSachs  (last week 8) 1-0
- Polish MNF heroics turned out to be icing after the Ravens IDP racked up plenty of hits on Cincy, but there's a lot to like about the Wall Streeters all around.  Romo looked surgical in his season debut, and the double titration with Austin is a force to be reckoned with.   Fitzgerald and White will see better days.  Frank the Tank is still  a draft horse. And their bench depth could pay off in a variety of ways, since they're an obvious trade candidate with WR and RB pieces to spare.  (Update: Rodgers...wow, hope you bought these guys low).

Next week - Trichs - the Bankers will try and knock off the Hair Pullers and move into the top tier of the rankings. 

7.) Pr1m0rdi4lLyfestylz®  (last week 6)  0-1
- the Primordial Ones had a narrow miss against a surprising Bloodz club in week 1, but it still showcased how strong their game plan can be.  The Brady-Gronk connection worked. Julio Jones looked elite. Demarco Murray looked ready to rumble.  Decker looked well in sync with Manning.  There's a variety of handcuffs in their roster, they may need to decide one way or the other on.  But good IDP production can float a few extra points, the Primordial Ones are definitely a force to be reckoned with this year.

Next week -  Cincinnati Dangles - this one could go either way.  With both teams 0-1, it's going to be serious business out there.

8.) ThePelicanBrief  (last week 5)  0-1
- the Grisham-ites saw a couple low-balls from their returning players and couldn't quite make MNF magic happen. We've seen Welker go hot-and-cold before, so it's no worry. And it's hard to call 20 points from Rodgers under-titrating, but with a busting-out RGIII on the bench, conflict has to be brewing in the WOPR's algorithms. (Something caused it to pick the Bills D/ST)   McFadden will need to carry a heavy load here, unless PB can get a deal done for another elite producer. (Obviously PB dig get a big deal done.  They say week 1 is the best time for value in a trade time line, so....).


Next week - BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng -  the Pelicans will have an uphill battle to avoid going 0-2. If Welker can find a few endzone looks, they'll be right in the thick of it.  No doubt we'll see RG3 and Frank the Tank attempting to render legal aid.  We couldn't be more intrigued.

9.) Tusken Raiders (last week 11) 0-1
-Ever unpredictable the Raiders put up big numbers and nearly upset a heavily favored Sachs team this week.  Matt Ryan's stellar day was the primary mover on their scoring uptick, but both RBs looked good.  And Philadelphia's D/ST may be playable week to week.   There's lots of potential on the bench here too with touchdown vulture Bush, and Peyton's TE Tamme (trade bait?).

Next week - SanFranciscoFerries- they would have bopped the boatmen this week, but the Star Wars franchise will need to look for more over-titrations if they continue with their famously lax IDP policies.

10.)  Cincinnati Dangles (last week 10)   0-1
-The Dangles came up short in a winnable game against all-too-human TTM this week.  Drew Brees' underwhelming performance is a big part of that, but that shouldn't be a problem week to week.  Randall Cobb looks like a diamond in the rough, although perhaps better as trade-bait so he doesn't crowd Jennings in the Dangles lineup.  A little more IDP titration and this lineup should match up with the elite week-to-week.

Next week -  Pr1m0rdi4lLyfestylz® - With both teams desperate for a win, this should be a bloody week 2 brawl.

11.) Phat Girlz (last week 9)  0-1
-The Girlz drew a tough match against the Nauts in week one and weren't up to the task.  The team is a bit hobbled until Ryan Matthews can start, but they can still do better than this.  Lynch should be in there over an aging Benson.  Colston and Wallace are totally capable of producing big numbers.  Graham will be elite again this year. Eli looked reliably underperforming, but Alex Smith is a mirage on the bench.  The Girlz have the makings of a good team, they just need a  few more pieces to fall into place.

Next week - TakingTigerMountain  - The Girlz need to find a way to eek out a win before Matthews returns.  They'll be big underdogs in this one, but with some tough match-ups the Commish might just cough one up here.


12.) Trichotillomaniacs (last week 12) 0-1
-a fascinating strategy left the Trichs uncompetitive in week 1, but may pay dividends for the rest of their season.  Opting not to play IDP, they held onto lots of 2nd tier backs and handcuffs instead.  They may have hit the temporary jackpot on the Shanahan wheel with Morris, but Dwyer emergence deserves a look too, especially if Big Ben ascends to the starting QB role.  The Trichs still need to hit a homer on the wire, and there are a few tempting options this week - we'll see how deep they go, how early.

Next week - GrossmanSachs - The Trichs need to continue to practice their Eastern arts of asymmetric warfare if they want to compete this year.   It might not be a bad idea to start game planning for bye weeks now.