BREAKING: SF FERRIES TO START SHOCKTOP COSPLAYER/NFL QB JIMMY CLAUSEN IN PSAS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

From Left to Right: Shocktop Mascot & Shocktop Mascot Cosplayer Jimmy Clausen.
Cosplayer Jimmy Clausen will start for the Ferries in the PSAS Championship game just 1 week after the Ferries dodged a bullet by starting Blue Moon enthusiast/NFL QB Johnny Manziel.

(ed. correction: Shocktop Mascot Cosplayer Jimmy Clausen is on the left...we think...so hard to tell)

Week 14 Previewz: 1st Round Edition

 

Playoffs are here!  Hooray!  Allow me to be overly enthusiastic, as there are only four games this week and I believe this is the easiest time to lose focus.  I mean, you are really allowed to, no one's making you play fantasy football after you are out of contention.  I commend those that are still paying attention in the consolation bracket though, myself included.  Anyways, we got two exciting match-ups in the "better" bracket and two more potentially good match-ups in the "bitter" bracket.  Here's your previewz.

(3) TakingTigerMountain 9-4 vs (6) SanFranciscoFerries 7-6

The first-round of the playoffs commence with the third meeting of these storied franchises this year.  In the regular season, the Geaux Tigers swept the series, but something tells me that Arbiter isn't spreading cheez comfortably here.

Tigers secured the third seed last in the regular season finale after beating the then-top-ranking Nauts.  The win was even more impressive because one end of the CCC had completely fallen off the face of the earth with Jimmy G scoring a zero.  Brees and Brown's big games plus bonus Minnesota defense in the upper twenties more than compensated for the star TE's absence, and in a way it was good to get that out of the system.  I mean, tight ends are like one-deep this season.  Moving forward, the wideouts are pretty set with Brown, Edelman and Sanu, but the backfield leaves some question marks with Ingram having some health concerns and the rest of this bunch being involved in RBBC situations.  Getting that titration right is probably the key to secure that Week 15 Nauts rematch.

Arguably the hottest team of the second half of the season in which they outscored the rest of the league by almost 50 in points scored from Week 7 to Week 13, the Ferries could have gotten the forth or even the third seed if something rolled differently last week although it really didn't matter in the end.  Bell got 30+ points and four more were in double digits in the loss.  The Boatmen have arguably the best backfield with L-Bell, Lacy and Forsett, plus O-B-Jr and Landry complement the Gronk at receivers.  Their concern is the QB position, where it's getting harder to titrate between Wilson and Stafford by the week.  The Frisco Kid went after Johnny Football hoping for an upgrade, but Hoyer will play the spoiler and start in Cleveland.  The pickup could, and should, help the Ferries moving forward, as Hoyer is rumored to be benched unless the Dawgs beat the Colts.  Hashtag hangman.  Ferries are hoping for a shootout Seattle-Philly game. 

Will it be TTM or SFF that touch the Sky in Week 15

(4) Dijonnaise All-Stars 9-4 vs (5) BuildingDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng 8-5

Colonel Mustard and Hermodorus battle it out for the right to challenge Monique's supremacy.  In their previous match in Week 8, Foster scored three TDs and A-Rodg threw for 400+ yards to lift the Yellow to victory.

Earlier in the year, Colonel's troops were considered a cinderella.  Those days are long gone, as the Mustards beat another playoff team in the Ferries to wrap up the regular season with a very respectable 9-4 record.  There are only a handful of true elite QB1 and RB1 in the league this year, and Colonel is in possession of one in each of those positions with Rodgers and Foster.  Mix them with a group of overachieving Caprice veterans like S-Jax and good waiver pickups like LaFell, and you've got the bet bot-draft based team in PSAS history that won't surprise anyone if they go all the way.  Colonel even flashed baby-butt smooth titration skills sitting Mike Evans last week.  Tampa resurgence has Muscle Hamster spring back to life, which if you look at it can be the weak-link of the Yellow.  With A-Rodg matched up against Atlanta MNF and Foster playing in Jaxville, look for the troops' high-scoring ways to continue this week.

The Titration Thinkers of Chico stumbled onto the playoffs after dropping an almost meaningless game to the Shock.  Bad Romo sort of showed up and Jordy was shadowed by Revis.  Let's hope the bad juju is out of system.  While consistently proving the ability to grind out the win, the Philosophers, ranking 8th in scoring for the season, have lacked the explosive firepower to get endorsement from Toyota.  The roster peppered with former wire-hangers make getting this titration right tricky, but if anyone can pull it off it'll be the Boyz of Chico.  Counter-titrating Nelson is just the tip of iceburg lettuce in terms of tricks in the bag for BDT.  I mean, they got three team defense and three tight ends, so they must be eying that Week 16 Championship.  

 

Who'll be Monique's Companion?

(9) Trichotillomaniacs 4-9 vs (12) Polk High Panthers 3-10

We hear some crying babies in the background of this one as two disappointed franchises play the first-round of consolation.  The Trichs won the Week 8 shoot-out.

(10) The Old Future 4-9 vs (11) ThePelicanBrief 4-9

The second of the first-round consolation is between two more broken hearts.  The regular-season match in Week 7 resulted in the Pelican getting their first win of the season (and getting drunk from Shock Top overconsumption). 

Week 13 Recap

 

 

Fittingly, it was unnecessarily thrilling for the regular season finale.  The Phat Girlz regain uptown top ranking with a convincing whipping of the pesky Pelican looking for the regular-season shocktop wrapup, while AEthernauts lose a close one to TakingTigerMountain.  The Tiger Dojo secures the third-seed with the win, while Dijonnaise All-Stars grabs the fourth seed after taking care of the red-hot SanFranciscoFerries who finishes snuggly at sixth seed.  BuildingDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng gets the five seed after dropping one to the Shock_Pix.  It was all jumbles everywhere and we didn't know who goes where for a while, but in the end it all sort of makes sense.  It's going to be Girz vs DAS/BDT and Nauts vs TTM/SFF in Week 15. 

 

 

Moral Victory was equally if not more exciting.  Polk High Panthers captures the chocolate, thanks to another Ryan, Ryan Fitzpatrick.  But three other teams, the Old Future, ThePelicanBrief and the Trichotillomaniacs, all fought until the tuff gong. 

 

Fading out is actually more pleasant and is my preferred way of exiting, so the quietness of the market and casino for the finale was actually nice.  I mean, players at this point can be had with desire and not much more, so yeah, that's that.  I'm not even going to look up TD Vulture or Pick 4.  Curiosity loses.  I mean, I choose Sanchez because he's on my roster and easy to look up.  The Public Funds Index is at 555, so maybe five is the lucky number (BDT?). 

Over/Under

Sanchize 20.73 / 15.98 OVER

Jonas 0.40 / 4.75 UNDER

Geno 1.50 / ? UNDER

Pelican gets 4 bankerbitez on an easy pick.  Nice.

Stock Market

I think I won some money.  Hooray.

Recap

Pelican: +4

Over/Under (+4)

Trix: +7

Trix (+10)

Jeopardy (-5)

dividends (+2)

Public Funds Index:

+544+11=+555