Week 7 Stock Market

Hyoo, that was something of a nothing.  Waiver wire apocalypse.  Seems it happens at least once every season, kind of a Yahoo charm.  

Now.  I just want to tell you something.

I think Anita Marks of Bleacher Report is hot.  I also like ESPN's Prim Siripipat, but she's a dookie (I did my research).

I'm glad that's off my chest.  Now let's talk fantasy.  We got Phat Monique looking down at us from atop alone.  The sixth-straight win came with fireworks from start to finish, with Luck-Hilton double titration starting off the Girlz fast and furious on TNF.  Nauts and BDT are still right behind Girlz at 5-1, while TigerMtn and Dijon have playoff spot in sight with 4-2 records.  The rest of the league contests for the sixth and final spot in the big dance as things stand now.  

Showdown Week

Many knock-out matches are in the lineups as teams look to line themselves up for better spot in the bell-curve as we turn the corner.  Nauts look to topple Monique's reign in this week's showdown between 1 and 2 while teams hovering at or below .500 mark are almost in early must-win mode.  Fantasy juggernaut Philadelphia and laughingstock Tampa are on bye this week. 

Don't worry, I'm not bringing back the ass trends. 

The payout schedule for each 5 bankerbitez bet is as following.

                                      Blue Chip     Market Performer     Junk
Blue Chip (#1-4*)                  5                      3                          2
Market Performer (#5-8*)     10                     5                          3
Junk (#9-12*)                        15                     10                        5

*Based on weekly Power Rankingz.  In case of a tied rank, commissioner's ruling will be published here.

The Guide

-The Super Now
(1) Phat Girlz 6-0 (5 bb) vs (2) AEthernauts 5-1 (5 bb)

Arguably the most anticipated match of this year will feature the top two teams.  Plenty of interesting matchups starting from the top with Luck vs Newton, Forte vs Murray, and Cobb vs Nelson.  If Big Sky cannot stop Big Girlz here, it could be a runaway to 1st-round bye for Monique.

Coming off a monster week in which the match against Shock_Pick was essentially over as soon as it started when Luck and Hilton connected for over 150 ydz just in the first quarter of TNF en route to scoring the season's best.  Forte and Tate both with two TDs each had their best games of the season while Cobb continues to find the endzone.  Detroit sacked Teddy eight times to top it with a cherry.  The Girlz' roster is full of matchup-proofed starters save for TE and Flex positions lead by Luck-Hilton double titration that simple looks unstoppable.  Pesky Cincy defense trying to stop Indy this week is the key here (come'on Pacman).

Nauts sat Newton in favor of Eli again in Week 6 and almost paid dearly for it.  Cam regained his Superman self while the lesser Manning regained his former self in being shut out by Philly defense (time for that defense to be re-cognized).  Nelson and Murray continued to show top form with solid games of their own.  DeMarco's was especially rather impressive against Seattle, who's gold-plated defense is starting to show some peel.  Beyond Newton, Murray and Nelson, Big Sky stands a bit shaky especially following season ending injury to Cruz, which essentially robs the sky of formidable double titration option and devalues Eli significantly.  Sanders will replace Cruz at WR2, and we may see the return of two-TE set , but the key to winning this showdown is RB2 production out of either Stacy or Ivory.

Nauts get the tough end of the stick with even-odds on what's essentially an upset pick.

Her Highness works hard to maintain

-Titration is Name of the Game

(3) BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng 5-1 (2 bb) vs (9) Trichotillomaniacs 1-5 (15 bb)

Trix look to spoil BDT's aspiration to climb atop while the other top teams knock each others out. 

BDT came out of Week 6 with a W in a predictably tough week for Romo-Bryant Dallas express playing in Seattle.  The rest of the team didn't fare much better, with only one TD scored by a non-QB helping the Boyz barely crack triple digits.  They still get it done where it counts.  Cowboyz have a more favorable matchup playing against the Giants at home, and McKinnon's ascension to starting role can only be positive here, although the rookie has a tougher match up against Buffalo in Week 7.  A win here will put BDT on the blink of playoffs spot.

Trix exploded in Week 6 as if to let out all the frustrated energy piled up for the first five weeks.  They were one SF 4th-down TD conversion/FG away from notching both the league's highest score and coveted Toyota biggest margin, an incredible feat from a previously winless team.  JJ came out on TNF with a bang that started the TD frenzy in the Far East.  Kaep capped it off on MNF with arguably one of the best games of his career.  While Shady didn't get to the endzone, he showed glimpse of what's expected to be the real deal on SNF.  It speaks for the potential that this team has always had, but consistency has been what's truely lacking for the Hairpullers.  The bye hits the Trix hard in Week 7, with McCoy, Maclin and Martin all getting the mid-season rest.  If there's going to be an unlikely turnaround of the season in the Far East, no week is more crucial than this one.

Yet another favorable odds for the Upsetters.

-The Knock-Out Round
(4) TakingTigerMountain 4-2 (3 bb) vs (5) Dijonnaise All-Stars  4-2 (10 bb)

This match has more playoffs ramification than the match of the week, as the winner here will get a room to breath while a loss would see the team get gobbled up by the rest of playoffs outsiders.

TigerMtn is skidding a bit after dropping second in a row in a lopsided fashion to Trix in Week 6.  A win was a tall order regardless of opponent here with New Orleans on bye, so it might as well have happened against an explosion.  While fill-ins Tannehill and Cook played admirably, TigerMtn truely missed Brees-Graham connection in a match that they never really had a chance following JJ's TNF atrocity.  Sanu's breakout in Cincy in AJ's absence is a welcomed sign in a week Quick was all but shut-out in Flex-duty.  The backfield situation is not as cheeky.  As losing AP, who TTM decided to drop from the roster, is not enough, his replacement Asiata is being phased out rather quickly in Minnesota in favor of a talented rookie.  Injury bug got to Sproles, so Mountain Men will rely on Hillman and Vereen's supposedly increased load following Ridley's injury to help lift the backfield.  Ingram's return from injury can't come soon enough for the Tigers. 

Colonel Mustard escaped a MNF thriller with a win thanks to a late-game pick-6 by SF defense that sealed the win for both Niners and Dijon.  It marked the third-straight for Colonel, who's proving that 2014's version of DraftBot is far more superior to its previous versions and this year's RecapBot.  Foster is proving to be worth every bit of money the bot decided to pay while keeper A-Rodg is as reliable as ever.  Greg Olsen being Cam's favorite target in Carolina covers up the lack of WR consistency.  Knowshown's knee silently buckling in the South Beach means Miller will assume starting roles both for the Fins and Mustards, which can only be good news moving forward.  TigerMtn presents a true test of legitimacy for Colonel in Week 7.

Even match with a favorable odds will see a team collect dividends.

-Shock in Cisco
(6) SanFranciscoFerries 3-3 (3 bb) vs (10) Shock_Pick® 2-4 (10 bb)

Another chance for psychedog to shock PSAS in a winnable match against SFF. 

In stark contrast to last year in which the SF season essentially consisted of two long streaks, this year's Boatmen have alternated wins and losses in the first six weeks.  The good news here is that this week they are supposed to win if the pattern continues, but there are several concerns here.  First, they are coming off a season low performance at 74 pts.  Lacy's Week 5 performance is looking more like a fluke after he lowballed yet again in Week 6 in a game Green Bay was forced to throw in making its come back.  Only Russel Wilson scored a rushing or receiving TD in a game that SFF saw only three players (one is a kicker) score in double digit.  Keeper Cordarrelle and Welker are struggling at WR2, so Frisco Kids will probably turn to Odell Beckham Jr., who will move up NYG depth chart following injury to Cruz.  Boatmen need the youngsters to lift the team up in order to avoid a slip below .500.

Shockers never had a chance against Luck-lead Girlz in Week 6, but the revamped backfield flashed some promises with Oliver dancing and Williams getting the touches.  Demaryius regaining 2013 form and Cutler's continued lack of bone-headed mistakes make Primordial Ones a weekly contender.  The protest at IDB continues, but we'll just regard it as strategic allocation.  

Both the odds and projection favor the Shock.  Days of playing Primordial Ones and betting against them equal free money is over.

-Spinning Bundy
(t.7)HomeSpunNeckBloodz 3-3 (3 bb) vs (11) Polk High Panthers 1-5 (10 bb)

Polk High look to turn season around here while Bloodz try to go above .500 for the first time this year. 

While it wasn't pretty, Bloodz took care of business in Week 6 against SFF thanks to Gio and SSS coming through in bounceback fashion.  While not living up to the hype, Foles has been serviceable save for one disastrous game.  Depth is there for the Bloodz to manage through bye season as they are 3-4 deep at both WR and RB positions.  The exception is at QB, where Foles on bye in Week 7 will make Cyclotron active in the waiver field looking for a fill-in.  This is a match in which Bloodz need to pick up a win in order to make a serious run at the playoffs.

Bundys had no chance in Week 6 as Megatron and AJ were injured-out and Charles on bye.  The season is quickly slipping away as Polk High has lost five in a row after Week 1 win over still-win-less Pelican.  While getting Charles back from bye is a plus, both Megatron and AJ figure to be out again at a crucial juncture of the 8-win bench mark.  Charles really needs to return with top-ranking form to give Panthers' season a chance.  The good news is that the schedule starts to ease up for Bundy, with the next three opponents all sitting at or below .500. 

The Upsetter chune is a tough sell here, Iman sez.

Many rivers to cross, Knowshown ...

-Feelings Hurt
(t.7) The Old Future 2-4 (3 bb) vs (12) ThePelicanBrief 0-6 (10 bb)

Search for the win continues for the Grishamites as the Rookie Oldies get in the way this week.

Future Boyz lost another close one in Week 6 and are on the outskirts looking in.  In scoring close to 120pts, Peyton was rather average for his standard but the roster saw good number of production from every phase of the game.  While TE Cameron's return to fantasy elite form was good omen, CJ Spiller's stock is quickly falling.  Knowshown's was the blown-knee that no one knew about, and judging from the past, he must have shed a bucket in South Beach.  It's crucial to get the titration right against the Pelican team desperate for their first win.  Future's two wins have come against struggling Polk High and Trix, so expect McFlies to get it done here and stay in the contention.

Pelican was quietly close to an upset win in Week 6, but the QB decision came back to bite.  Brady is all of a sudden putting up QB1 number, which adds to the fury of Pelican leaving him on the bench.  LynchM0b has come down to earth and seems to be battling some lingering back issue, which adds to the Pelican blues.  Carson Palmer's return in Arizona benefitted Fitz and should continue to do so.  They did crack 100 last week, so things look to have hit rock bottom.  With Brady's resurgence, we shall see the rise of Pelican.

It can be too enticing to pick the upset here with favorable odds.

Derivatives

For Sale:
Celebrity Jeopardy: Future win and Trix win (25 bb)

Return of the Upsetters: Shock win, Trix win and Pelican win (50 bb)

Freebies with purchase

Double And Then There Were None: Nauts win and Pelican win (20 bb)

Comment below for orders.

Mutiny of the Green Knight

TMZ uncovered a secret unsuccessful attempt aimed at destroying the league that took place over the past weekend.  Details of the incident are still spotty and sketchy, and neither the league officials nor the police are publicly commenting on the case. 

Commish and Shwartzy discussing anti-descrimination moments before the knighting ceremony

PSAS escaped crisis when an assassination attempt aimed at lives of more than half of the PSAS team owners was thwarted during the past weekend.  It's unclear if the attempt is related to the ongoing week 5 scoring scandal or any other beef that exist in the league.  PSAS officials are said to be collaborating with the Port Authority Police and the FBI in a guarded investigation.  Neither the commissioner's office nor the authorities have held any press conferences, which adds to speculations swarming the social media. 

King Don Carlos knighted Ryan Des Meaux of HSNB

The commissioner and representatives of six PSAS teams were attending the Knighting Ceremony of the owner of the HomeSpunNeckBloodz during the past weekend at Lyndhurst Castle.  King Don Carlos knighted Lord Ryan Des Meaux in an exuberant medieval ceremony in front of Colonel Mustard, Monique, General Far East, Commissioner El-Beni, and the Queen of Chico.  Several other high-officials including a member of the league's anti-discrimination/defamation committee were in attendance, while the TakingTigerMountain owner was scheduled to join the festivities later.  According to members who were at the weekend event, several issues regarding the present state of PSAS and the future outlook were discussed on the transportation to and from the ceremony, arranged by and originating from the HSNB organization's Brooklyn headquarter.  

The Holland Tunnel entrance in Jersey City was even more clogged following the assassination attempt

 According to several attending members, who all but one declined to be named in this report as the investigation is ongoing and the fear of retaliation is real, the attempt at the owners targeted this transportation "Party Bus" on the return trip.  As the bus approached the Holland tunnel in Jersey City, a gang of motorcyclists surrounded the bus, obstructing the way.  As the bus came to a halt, an assailant in a green-clad knight gear entered the bus and started swinging his sword.  Panic and confusion followed, and accounts of the following moments are spotty and conflicting.  It seems that someone, according to one source Lord Des Meaux himself and another the chairman of the anti-discrimination committee Nick Schwartz, stood in front of the Green Knight's oncoming sword-strike while someone else managed to open the emergency exit from within to get the members out of the bus.  No one seemed to have seen the assailant leave the bus and the scene. 

Monique is pissed

Phat Girlz owner Monique is the lone non-anonymous source sited by TMZ, and she was outspoken in her condemnation.  "Bitches better come to my face if they got issues with our fat asses, not launch missiles of chemical weapons at us.  Jeez, I'm about to bitch-slap whoever's responsible," Monique exclaimed.

The suspicious figure on the left

is not to be seen in this photo taken seconds later

It's unclear if anyone was hurt from the incident.  Lack of information is adding fuel to the rumors storming the social media.  Despite tight lips among league officials and the law enforcement, speculative theories suggesting involvement of several PSAS franchises are floating around twitter, facebook and LINE.  One PSAS follower tweeted Tuesday "@GeneralFarEast, move to Jersey City proved useful until you didnt get it done #TrixPullingMoreHair", implying Trichotillomsniacs' recent move of its b345tern outpost to Journal Square, minuets away from the Holland Tunnel entrance,  and hence the Far East organization to be somehow involved in the incident.  Another theory put the blame on HSNB as the host of the weekend and the arranger of transportation.  A video footage shot during the weekend was discovered in which Des Meaux is mattering something about an assassination.  Yet another theory suspected TTM for avoiding the "Party Bus" all together, implying the Mountain Men knew about the plot all along.  The weekend absentees weren't spared, as rumors pointed at Nick Schwartz being a secret New York agent of a non-NY/NJ based franchise, namely Polk High Panthers and curiously silent Pr1m0rd14lLyfestylez.  Even Monique took her beef with Colonel Mustard to tweeter "@ShadowEmperess: Chin Chong Chuan, nice try bitch."