The PSAS Stock Market Returns Along with a Trip Behind Enemy Lines for the CGG

 
For the first time in PSAS history, this week will feature both Stock Market offeringz and Casino Gulag Games. The stock market was the brainchild of PrimordialLifestylez and was birthed via TakingTigerMountain's synthetic love canal. Here's how it works:

The teams in the league are broken down into four categories, from most valuable to least. These values are based solely on the standings (Win/Loss with Total Points as Tiebreakers). You invest in a team one week at a time, and if they win their game you win money. The bigger the "upset" according to the standings, the more money that pays out.  An investment in a costs five (5) Bankerbitez. The team invested in will receive 2 Bankerbitez per choice. 

1-3  - Blue Chip
4-6  - Red Chip
7-9 - Penny Stock
10-14 - Junk Bonds

Here's a chart for the payouts. If a bluechip beats a bluechip, you make 5 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five bankerbitez investment back). If a Blue Chip team beats a Junk Bond team you get 2 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five Bankerbitez investment back).

                    Blue Chip      Red Chip       Penny Stock        Junk Bond

Blue Chip            5                 4                      3                        2

Red Chip            10               5                       4                        3

Penny Stock        15                10                   5                        4

Junk Bond          20                15                   10                        5


So, that being said, this week's Matchupz are as follows, seeds are listed in parentheses, so 1-3 are the Blue Chip franchises, 4-6 are Red Chip, etc...:


GrossmanSachs (6) vs TakingTigerMountain (4)
PelicanBrief (5) vs Polk High Panthers (3)
AEthernauts (11) vs Trichotillomaniacs (9)
Phat Girlz (10) vs BDT (7)
TuskenRaiderz (8) vs PrimordialLifestylz (13)
SanFranciscoFerries (14) vs The Goslings (12)
HomeSpunNeckBloodz (2) vs Dijonnaise All-Stars (1)

Submit as many picks as you would like to make (at 5 Bankerbitez apiece) in the comments section.

The Casino Gulag Gamez are no longer free to play, this game will cost 3 Bankerbitez to play, and it's a new offering, but it's a simple one. It's called Behind Enemy Lines. Pick a Team Defense that you think will have the most total SACKS this week. Whoever picks the team with the most from amongst the group wins the pot plus 10 extra Bankerbitez to sweeten and encourage participation. The odds are, in fact, ever in your favor. Ties split the pot, but both get the 10 Bankerbitez bonus.

The Long Con

Aaron Rodgers' savvy ploy to motivate his team by sucking this week, may pay off in a huge way. "It's gonna be big for them," Rodgers said yesterday, while scrolling through Facebook photos of his old girlfriend banging dudez on the Golden Gate Bridge. "We all learn through struggle, and once each of these guys puts up 23 points, we're gonna be a better team for it. Now, if you could just give me some private time, please... and can you pass me Mr. Blankey?"

Wilis McGahee is gonna have the Trichs pulling all the hairz outta their mink coats. 

Despite their familiarity with Far Eastern culture, the Trichs have never been able to stop ninjas. 

Rodgers has spent all day in the GrossmanSachs locker room, doing linez with Sea Bass and "flashdancing" along to this song while McGahee and Roddy White were eating Bear heartz for strength: