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Showing posts with label oracle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oracle. Show all posts

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Exiled Reserve Chairman Hermodorus Discovers Energy Vortex

Hermodorus discovers an energy vortex
Dick doors within dick doors
In his odyssey in the barbarous hinterlands, former PSAS reserve chairman Hermodorus has reportedly discovered a geo-local time space anomaly, which he has referred to as " [an] energy vortex".  Classicists have long believed that the location of Apollo's oracles at Delphi and Cumae are descriptions of  spaces of abnormal high energy behavior - or to use the be-sandled terminology of native Californians chakras on the earth's crust.  These special nodes are believed to "breathe" or alternately vacuum and expel energy warping human perception of space time and allowing for prophetic visions and insights. As the oracle received this vision she was "inspired" or literally inhaled the presence of the god.
The crucified six eyed goat represents Romo, yes

Precisely what the former chairman saw in these visions is not to our knowing, but FSB dream analysts believe he may have accessed an astral plane point of the sunken Pacific continent of Lemuria.  The discovery of beached oarfish seemed to confirm that Hermodorus' anomaly was somehow related to the vastness of the Pacific ocean.  Known around the Pacific rim as messengers of the godz sea palace, these deep ocean dwellers often portend disastrous consequences, earthquakes, volcanoes, lisfranc injuries.  What these dire portents hold for the future of the PSAS remains to be seen, does the former chairman have the power to pull away from the vortex, even harness b34stly knowledge from its depths?  Or will he be pureed like potatoes in the primordial vichyssoise?


Laocoon, an ancient Tight End, is sent to the IR by oarfish

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Rivalry Week Quake Confirmed: Limits of Human Titration to be Tested


The worst catastrophe in the history of the league is confirmed as the Week 10 Rivalry Fault slipped and subducted today leading to a buckle between Miletus and Ephesus. After consulting for hours via teleconference with the Pythian and Delian oracles, the Commissioner has determined that the Earth-shaker has demanded a rematch of the Week 4 tie between BuildingDwellingThinking and Dethroned King. Sources close to the Office have quoted the Sybills as uttering hexameters "Polemos brooks no ties / Brothers to war must out / Illian plains prepare / playoff life battle-won"

As of press time officers of the PEMA were mobilizing relief funds to help the affected teams on tonight's waiver wire. Victim-bystanders in this violent shift are Pelican Brief and Tusken Raiders who will play each-other. What effect this massive upheaval can have on the playoffs is unknown at this time, but it is certain that this will now become the gate-keeper to several teams fate in the wild card and doubtless the largest ratings grab for the PSAS this year. Keep tuned to FHTTGAP for 24/7 aftershock watch.