BREAKING! JGPB Hands Over Team Management to WOPR

Breaking News Update - 9:21AM - PST

Scott Templeton

The Associated Press has learned that JGPB GM Shaun Boyle has handed over all team management to a WOPR computer unit. All waiver wire, game day roster, and SILOV decisions will be handled by WOPR from this point forward. Reports from JGPB's front office indicate the decision was made late Friday night after GM Shaun Boyle failed to pick up any running backs of merit during the annual PSAS draft. Despite a vote of confidence from the Toyota Motor company, insiders describe the post draft climate within JGPB as very tense. With the human element no longer a factor--especially in light of Vixkennel's run to the championship last year--experts are already predicting that this could be the breakthrough year for JGPB.

Pictured - Assistant GM (and part-time actor) Michael Madsen urging GM Shaun Boyle to pull the trigger on New Orleans Rookie RB Mark Ingram. "Put your hand on the key, sir! Mark Ingram is a good value in the 4th round. He'll be the goal line back. PUT YOUR HAND ON THE KEY, SIR!"

Pictured - WOPR Unit #22 up and running inside JGPB's Underground Bunker.

Pictured - Front Panel of WOPR Unit #22. JGPB insiders indicate GM Shaun Boyle hopes that WOPR will generate much needed PRN income by gaming the SILOV system on a weekly basis.

Pictured - JGPB GM Shaun Boyle during the annual PSAS draft. This picture was taken shortly after Shaun realized that Jonathan Stewart was the best available RB.