Week 2 saw another round of record breaking scoring, embarrassing defense and QB demi-gods. We witnessed Jamaal Charles become the second keeper swept under the waves of the IR list. Week 3 always seems to be the height of speculation, where we wonder if the 0-2 power brokers are truly doomed to bottom-feeding, or if the 2-0 upstarts could possibly ascend the throne. The landmark unpreparedness of defense and special teams squads across the board have created tsunamis and aftershocks for teams across the league. Everything seems in eternal flux. And yet, constants remain - waiver wire heroes will rise to fill gaps, rivals will suffer losses as well, the game will continue. Our reading today is from the Aeneid, Book 1:
...Neptune himself raises them with his trident,
parts the vast quicksand, tempers the flood,
and glides on weightless wheels, over the tops of the waves.
As often, when rebellion breaks out in a great nation,
and the common rabble rage with passion, and soon stones
and fiery torches fly (frenzy supplying weapons),
if they then see a man of great virtue, and weighty service,
they are silent, and stand there listening attentively:
he sways their passions with his words and soothes their hearts:
so all the uproar of the ocean died, as soon as their father,
gazing over the water, carried through the clear sky, wheeled
his horses, and gave them their head, flying behind in his chariot.
12. Phat Girlz (0-2) (last week 10)
There were signs of improvement for the Girls this week though, including a throwback day from Tony Gonzales, a marked improvement for Schaub and good looks from Bradshaw and Drew, all of which saw them narrowly miss their first triple digit performance of the season. Being down two games in the division is serious business for sure, but there's time aplenty to rise here. There are a plethora of tools here, and a lot is riding on Roddy White, but a little defensive tinkering on the wire could make all the difference.
Next Week - Dangles - Look for last year's runners up to stop the bleeding next week with a double-counter titration, holding two of Ryan's favorite targets. A good week for the Falcons could backfire on the Dangles.
11. Cincinnati Dangles (o-2) (last week 11) -
The Dangles are no roll-over expansion franchise. That's for sure. After topping 100 for the second week in a row, they still have nothing to show for it. But from the looks of this squad, the wins are still there to be had. If Matt Ryan is going to start replicating his run last season, Low Boys are going to slip somebody up soon and dangle all over their face soon.
Next Week - Phat Girls - The Dangles have to like their chances here, PG are the lowest scoring team in the first two weeks.
10. SF Ferries (1-1) (last week 12) -
The Pelicans took a must-win this week against the Girls, but blew their cash on magic beans for the 2nd season in a row. It's hard to see them using their remaining 5k to fill all the holes over the rest of the season. It could be the Firm is destined to achieve this year, if so, it would appear that they are destined to do it with the team they have currently. Don't discount rumors of a PMF loan, but the price will be too steep for any rational owner to contemplate.
Next Week - Vix - If the Pelicans want a shot at top half status then knocking the Dawgs out of first place would be a great way to start.
Next Week - TTM - This is an inter-division match-up with the newly hot 'chise, so it's not necessarily a "must-win". Looking down the pike, they've got a rematch with BDT and a visit to the Dawg House, both intra-Milesian match ups, both with season changing potential. Still don't be surprised if they get an early start and billy-goat the Tigers down the mountain.
The Ferries opened a new chapter on their season in week 2 by beating the Dangles in high flying fashion. Maclin, Hillis & Gronkowski all topped 20, and Kolb looked like a quarterback. The three New England Players look like a fine points play, and some good defensive pick-ups should bolster their scoring on slow days. The Ferries took Cam Newton for the same money Mike Vick brought on the wire last year, but significantly earlier in the season. With a big win in the Casino Gulag, would they attempt to reel in another leviathan?
Next Week - Trichs - Back in the Eleatic, the Ferries need to even out their divisional record if they want to keep making positive strides.
Next Week - Trichs - Back in the Eleatic, the Ferries need to even out their divisional record if they want to keep making positive strides.
9. The Pelican Brief (1-1) (last week 9) -
Next Week - Vix - If the Pelicans want a shot at top half status then knocking the Dawgs out of first place would be a great way to start.
8. dETHRONED_kING (0-2) - (last week 7)
Jamaal Charles' season ending injury doesn't behead the kING. Foster's status for Week 3 is up in the air (as is Felix Jones') and that has to keep their point potential anchored to reality, but they've still got plenty of scoring potential, as well as money to make things happen on the wire. DK needs to get Bryant healthy and hope that either Foster or Ward is an obvious start. Matthews may be an interesting piece for to play with, and a crucial one as their health concerns continue. The Royals played it cool on the wire last week, will they bite on Charles' replacement, or attempt a trade? Or will they, as Rumsfeld said, "go to war with the army you have, not the one you want."Next Week - TTM - This is an inter-division match-up with the newly hot 'chise, so it's not necessarily a "must-win". Looking down the pike, they've got a rematch with BDT and a visit to the Dawg House, both intra-Milesian match ups, both with season changing potential. Still don't be surprised if they get an early start and billy-goat the Tigers down the mountain.
7. AEthernauts (0-2) (last week 5) -
The Balloonists inflated another good number in Week 2, but got downed by a powerful Raiders storm. Despite having fallen 6 spots since their shocker week 1 overall #1 selection, they're still viable. Remember this is the team that had the hottest 2nd half in league history last year. We haven't begun to see what they can do, but we got a little taste with AP putting up 26 and Blount 19. Flacco and Eli could be a conundrum all season, but if the Lions keep those touchdowns coming for Johnson, it shouldn't be a deal-breaker. Pettigrew's innability to get involved in the Detroit scene has to be frustrating here.
Next Week - BDT - No rest for the weary. Having played the league's 2nd and 3rd top scorers, the AEtherNauts play numero uno in Week 3. If Austin is out this could be an upset alert.
The Hair Pullers got the short end of TigerMountain's triple titration stick. But they put up triple digits for the second straight week. As long as Gore and Hightower can continue to play to pre-season expectations the Trichs can wait on Rivers stepping up to top five status, and if VJax is truly back then it should be sooner than later. The Eleatic is as jumbled as ever so in-division match-ups could be key.
Next Week - Ferries - The Trichs get the San Francisco treats who came out mad in week two and topped 150. The .500 line is on the line in the Eleatic.
5. GrossmanSachs (1-1) (last week 2)
Vick got his bell rung in the 2nd half of the Sunday Night game and left the Sachs holding the bag against the Dawgs . Even if Vick is all right for next week, it's a bitter downgrade for the Bankers, who caught the Champ on a beatable weekend, but couldn't close the deal. Long term futures will stabilize based on Greene's passable performance, and the potential of Jahvid Best in Motor City points factory. As predicted Chicago's defense against in the Big Easy was the difference between a win and a loss.
Next Week - Tusken Raiders - Don't count the Bankers out just because they're facing a high flyer. This is just the kind of downward counterfactual we'd expect - drawing votes away from their side only to torch a straw man.
TigerMountain brought the warpaint with the premiere of the DR34D T1G3R colors, and the team responded with a triple titration effort. Even without keeper SJax the team set a new franchise scoring record mostly due to a B34sTM0d3 effort by VJax. A spot start by McGahee couldn't have gone better, but nobody expects that to become a regular thing. Week to week, their relative potential remains yoked to Drew Brees throwing arm. All in all, another impressive week, but it's hard to see the horses in TTM's stable as long haul dominant.
Next Week - dETHRONED kINGS - TTM will face the Reeling Royals for the first time this year. They went 0-2 last year and have yet to beat Old Commish. Don't believe the hype, this one will be a fight to the finish.
3. Tusken Raiders (2-0) (last week 8) -
The little team that nobody loved, jumps five places on the heels of a monster week where only one (!) offensive player failed to draw double digits. The fact that that position player is keeper Chris Johnson will doubtless raise eyebrows. Still getting stuffed by the Ravens line is of little concern compared to losing RZ carries to a vulture. Impressive double-titration from the Brady/Hernandez connection put up 40, but they'll need a replacement TE next week. Still no IDP, eventually, you'd think that'll matter, right?
Next Week - Sachs - the Raiders will face a stiff challenge against the Bankers this week. They'll catch a break if Vick's bell is still ringing on Sunday, though.
2. BldgDwllngThnkng (2-0) - (last week 4)-
How bout them BldgDwllngThnkng! BDT not only took down the goalposts they burned the stadium and salted the field in a B1G statement game against the rival Throneless Ones. Sitting pretty at a 167 score, you can guess that just about everything went BDT's way on Sunday. Stafford appears to have arrived, Austin went bonkers, Turner overdrive, and Fred Jackson (!) flexed big time muscle in Buffalo. Austin's hammy could be a thorn in their side the next few weeks though.
Next Week - AEtherNauts - Another good match-up in BDT's tough first half schedule. 'Nauts should be hungry after breaking triple digits last week and coming away empty handed.
1. Vixkennel.com (2-0) (last week 1) -
Sometimes luck is all the titration you need, which is exactly what Vix got against the Sachs when their namesake took a concussion in the 2nd half of Football Night in America. This week's score was not a blowout. But they survived, and with their history, we're just going to presume that'll ride until it doesn't. Forte/Rice/R-burger each bit off 15 for a lil' bit of everything week. Still serious ?s at WR, so don't go engraving that trophy just yet.
Next Week - JGPB - the Dawgs will go Pelican hunting next week. This could well be their best test so far. The Firm bowed out in the semis last year and missed getting clobbered by Vix in the championship.
Next Week - BDT - No rest for the weary. Having played the league's 2nd and 3rd top scorers, the AEtherNauts play numero uno in Week 3. If Austin is out this could be an upset alert.
6. Trichotillomaniacs (1-1) (last week 3) -
Next Week - Ferries - The Trichs get the San Francisco treats who came out mad in week two and topped 150. The .500 line is on the line in the Eleatic.
5. GrossmanSachs (1-1) (last week 2)
Vick got his bell rung in the 2nd half of the Sunday Night game and left the Sachs holding the bag against the Dawgs . Even if Vick is all right for next week, it's a bitter downgrade for the Bankers, who caught the Champ on a beatable weekend, but couldn't close the deal. Long term futures will stabilize based on Greene's passable performance, and the potential of Jahvid Best in Motor City points factory. As predicted Chicago's defense against in the Big Easy was the difference between a win and a loss.
Next Week - Tusken Raiders - Don't count the Bankers out just because they're facing a high flyer. This is just the kind of downward counterfactual we'd expect - drawing votes away from their side only to torch a straw man.
4. Taking Tiger Mountain (2-0) (Last Week 6) -
TigerMountain brought the warpaint with the premiere of the DR34D T1G3R colors, and the team responded with a triple titration effort. Even without keeper SJax the team set a new franchise scoring record mostly due to a B34sTM0d3 effort by VJax. A spot start by McGahee couldn't have gone better, but nobody expects that to become a regular thing. Week to week, their relative potential remains yoked to Drew Brees throwing arm. All in all, another impressive week, but it's hard to see the horses in TTM's stable as long haul dominant.
Next Week - dETHRONED kINGS - TTM will face the Reeling Royals for the first time this year. They went 0-2 last year and have yet to beat Old Commish. Don't believe the hype, this one will be a fight to the finish.
3. Tusken Raiders (2-0) (last week 8) -
The little team that nobody loved, jumps five places on the heels of a monster week where only one (!) offensive player failed to draw double digits. The fact that that position player is keeper Chris Johnson will doubtless raise eyebrows. Still getting stuffed by the Ravens line is of little concern compared to losing RZ carries to a vulture. Impressive double-titration from the Brady/Hernandez connection put up 40, but they'll need a replacement TE next week. Still no IDP, eventually, you'd think that'll matter, right?
Next Week - Sachs - the Raiders will face a stiff challenge against the Bankers this week. They'll catch a break if Vick's bell is still ringing on Sunday, though.
2. BldgDwllngThnkng (2-0) - (last week 4)-
How bout them BldgDwllngThnkng! BDT not only took down the goalposts they burned the stadium and salted the field in a B1G statement game against the rival Throneless Ones. Sitting pretty at a 167 score, you can guess that just about everything went BDT's way on Sunday. Stafford appears to have arrived, Austin went bonkers, Turner overdrive, and Fred Jackson (!) flexed big time muscle in Buffalo. Austin's hammy could be a thorn in their side the next few weeks though.
Next Week - AEtherNauts - Another good match-up in BDT's tough first half schedule. 'Nauts should be hungry after breaking triple digits last week and coming away empty handed.
1. Vixkennel.com (2-0) (last week 1) -
Sometimes luck is all the titration you need, which is exactly what Vix got against the Sachs when their namesake took a concussion in the 2nd half of Football Night in America. This week's score was not a blowout. But they survived, and with their history, we're just going to presume that'll ride until it doesn't. Forte/Rice/R-burger each bit off 15 for a lil' bit of everything week. Still serious ?s at WR, so don't go engraving that trophy just yet.
Next Week - JGPB - the Dawgs will go Pelican hunting next week. This could well be their best test so far. The Firm bowed out in the semis last year and missed getting clobbered by Vix in the championship.
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