In a move unprecedented in PSAS history, the commissioner's office has determined the fate of ThePelicanBrief for their "miscalculation" in picking up Kendall Wright. There is a thin green line between order and chaos, and ThePelicanBrief tried to muddy that line. By betting three dollars in Short But Sweet, they placed three of their Bankerbitez in escrow, then bid their full 28 Bankerbite acquisition budget on Kendall Wright. The G0dbank, Stock Market, and Casino Gulag grant a line of credit to their preferred customers, assuming that such high rollers can keep track of their own money. In this particular scenario, adding the three bankerbitez that were in escrow to their bid for Wright was a relatively harmless action (nobody else bid on Wright this week [league historians know that unnecessarily high bids bankrupting the franchise are the Grishamites M.O.]), but the consequences easily could have been catastrophic. What if someone bid 27 Bankerbitez on Wright, and it wasn't caught until after the games had been played? It would be a level five Shitnado. The whole league's financial system nearly came crashing down, but the bank will be here long after we are gone (maybe even after the G0dz?), and we should fear it accordingly.
The winning option of the punishment poll dictates ThePelicanBrief must enter a sizzurp drinking contest with Jamarcus Russell, we will need video evidence of this punishment being carried out. In addition, and in order to set a precedent that will not be fucked with, ThePelicanBrief will be docked Kendall Wright's 7.9 pts from their week 9 win. What if the same thing happens and it costs someone a win, you ask? Try us.
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