Week 12 Power Rankings

 

Hey girl, I'm not dead yet.  But if I do die it'll be staring at this crumpled picture of you

The Bank calling in its debts, sure most of us expected it a few weeks ago when everyone was technically in play for the loot. Still, the tax man was gonna call in week 11.  But a rookie revolt?  Didn't see that one on the schedule. The league n00bz endlessly complicated the playoff picture by tripping up two presumed playoff bound teams. The bar should be at 8, but a 7-6 team could still sneak in if everything breaks the right way (don't get excited I didn't do any math, I'm just eyeballing that). 10-11 teams are still in play for the Primordial Dance. Average points pull back toward normal with 104.6. 8/14 teams were over 100 and  just 3 were over 120. It's a two game season now - almost all the teams left standing need both to be sure, and they can't all have it. 


1 . (T. 2) SanFranciscoFerries (7-4)
When you're riding the lightning the world just opens right up before you.  SFF picked up 29 points on Cincy's D/ST's shellacking of Cleveland.  They turned the high card this week and didn't even set their highest scoring line-up.  Only blemish is the benching of Bush, which is hopefully just a well timed warning shot on the eve of the playoffs. At the height of their powers Russel Wilson has finally put himself head and shoulders above Rivers with two straight weeks of superior play. Of course he gets a bye next week. With Nauts and Styles left on the board the Ferries could take that streak to 9 and ride a bye into the playoffs.

T.2 . (1) Trichs  (6-5) The Hair-pullers were plucked bald on a frustrating day that saw their playoff bye hopes circling the drain. Just a meh day, the Far East Brigade up a spectrum of minor to mediocre lowballs and got upset by a hot Goslings squad. They'll fire up Zack Stacy in the flex again and hope Thomas and Allen are healthy enough to provide real depth going forward. Still #1 in points by over 40 the Trichs should be safe with eight. Polk and PG remaining, the Hair pullers will do more than any other squad to determine the playoff picture.

T. 2.  (2) Pelican Brief - (7-4)  The Pelicans all but punched their ticket for the playoffs with a key win over the Mountain in week 11.  A two TD first quarter from CJ?K put a down payment and Brady put a bow on it on MNF.  Seattle's defense continues to produce against poor NFC squads, racking up 17 against the Vikes. It's a mid-range victory with lots of points on the bench, but the Brief is happy to walk away percentage rich and point poor, still in control of their own destiny.   Grossman and BDT, two could be a bye and none gets you kicked to the consolation, it's that close.

4. (1)  Polk High Panthers  (7-4) The All City Fullbacks are starting to look more like the shoe salesmen they were born to be.  Sub-100 for the third week in a row, the Panthers had a 20.22 pt differential between the starting and bench QBs, roughly  7 times their margin of defeat.   Megatron had another completely ridiculous Calvinball day, but AJ Green got .7 - totally shut down by Haden for his worst game of the season.   The Bundys are high middle of the road in points, one high scoring win should lock them in to the Millie's College Fund tournament, two should secure the bye we thought was theirs in week 8.  Polk get the Trichs and the Raiders down the home stretch. 

5. (7) Phat Girlz (7-4) - The Girlz survived a Monday night IDP scare as they counted tackles in the fourth quarter, praying for the clock to run out. Stafford has been over 20 for 5/6 games and seems to have finally arrived as the fantasy asset the Girlz drafted him to be. Monique wisely benched race-war victim Lamar Miller, but forgot that LSU alumni play better when stoned/on-bail as Bowe caught his first TD in weeks. The Girlz are the epitome of the points-poor contender, sitting at 10th in points they would be on the south side of any tiebreaker.   Monique gets the Goslings and Trichs, but may need them both to move on.

T. 6. (5) TakingTigerMountain (6-5) Sean Payton had to play football against a real defense and the triple Saints threat lowballed, taming the Tigers in week 11. Nice days by Antonio Brown and Ryan Matthews keep the Tigers solvent on points (4th) and essentially alive for a bye tiebreaker.  Some big name IDP flops really kept the Mountain out of contention here, it'll be interesting to see if they shake up the locker room.  The Tigers get the Bloodz and the Goslings on their way to the peak.
  
T. 6 (8) Grossman Sachs (6-5) The g0dbank did exactly what they needed to do in week 11, beating the Stylez with +120 points.  A huge day from Rashad was the story of the day as he might have taken Run DMC's job from him and the Bankers flex to boot.  The Bank is perfectly positioned for a win out wildcard run with the 2nd highest point total. The Sachs get the Pelicans and the Bloodz and probably need them both.  



8. (6) Tusken Raiders (6-5) The Raiders got pushed around by the Ferries as their big names took an ill-timed break from beasting. Jamaal and D-Jax combined for a rather pedestrian 15. And while Foles had a big game, there were too many holes to plug this week.  The Raiders are noticeably short at wide-out. They're right in the middle of the road in points and record.  The Sand People get the Mustard Men and Bundys to dust up and get on the right side.

T. 9. (10)  Goslings (6-5) The Baby Geese were one of two rookie teams throwing a last minute wrench into the playoff machine.  The Goslings did it with a shocker upset of the formerly red-hot Trichs.  No mean low-ball upset either, the Goslings went over 110 courtesy of a 28 point game for Shady McCoy and a big kicking day in Buffalo.  The Drivers might have been robbed of their high end, but they're far from toothless. The Drivers get the Girlz and Tigers to finish up - a perfect run (and some help 11th in points currently) could put them in the playoffs.

T. 9 (13)  Dijonaise All Stars  (6-5) Left for dead in no-mans land, the Colonel Mustard woke up and stormed the Polk High trenches in week 11.  A repeat of the Ninkovitch miracle of two years ago gave the boys from Dijon hope, if not much more.  At 13th in points and lacking A-Rodg, they'll need total chaos to walk in the back door to the playoffs. The Colonel gets the Raiders and Nauts to close, they'll need a sweep and help.

10. (9) Aethernauts (5-6) The hard-luck Explorers turned over a high-card too late to be much help (outside of the Commish's pay for play bounty).  Just imagine how huge that recalc loss is. The Nauts would be solidly on the bubble with their 5th highest point total, and in decent position to secure another playoff spot. Instead they need to hope that the bar falls to seven wins somehow.  With the Queen City Overpass and Lynch M0b, they'll be dangerous to their remaining opponents to say the least.  The Explorers get Ferries and Mustard Men to finish off the 2013 campaign.

11. (T. 11) BuildingDwellingThinking  (4-7) The Chico Bandits put up a game resistance on the Cowboys bye week, but it wasn't fated to be.  Ray Rice finally broke out and pulled a 22 point game, bad news is that's more than 25% of his point total for the year.  They couldn't overcome losing 4 of 5 in the middle of the season. BDT gets the Styles and the Legal Thrillers to close the 2013 season.

12. (T. 10) Homespun Neckbloodz  (4-7) In one of the more thrilling finishes to a PSAS game in MNF history, Thomas Davis came within three tackles or one pass defended of pulling out a miracle victory for the Bloodz (pending recalc). It's was a weird luck game for the Bloodz who had plenty of meat on the bone, with Donald Brown and Joique Bell effective on the bench.  QB Keenum was inexplicably benched in a toxic Texans offense The Bloodz still get two more swings at playing spoiler against TTM and GS.

14. (14)  PrimordialLifestyles (0-11) Demarius continues to be the premier star here, but as T-Rich struggles between the tackles and Schaub misses his best chance to reclaim his starting job, there's not much to fear. The Styles will award wins to BDT and the Ferries in the worst PSAS season to date.