Week 3 Power Rankings

When I was little, my father was famous...

A bloody week in the fantasy world as we get our first top, middle and bottom separation. 5 above .500, 7 below. 3 undefeated and two winless.  Bye weeks are open war on the wire and everybody needs something. Some teams have dead spots just waiting for improvement and some are carrying hobbled veterans on future hopes.   Who wins the bye weeks wins the season, we always say. 

1.  (2)  Phat Girlz - (3-0) Bulking up for the bye weeks the Girlz stuck a third straight win to the wall in week 3 against ailing Polk High.  Luck at QB1 is a big part of it, right now he's #1 with a bullet at 80 pts on the season (33 this week).  Not every week is a highlight reel like J-ville's secondary, but he's more than capable at the helm. Hilton and Rudolph injuries could be minor downgrades but the Girlz are plus at multiple skill positions. 

2. (1) TakingTigerMountain  (3-0) - The Mountaineers climbed all the way back into a near week 3 upset courtesy of huge games from Antonio Brown and the Chicago D. Without AP they're decidedly lacking in ground game. CJ?k and a pair of third down passing backs aren't going to cut it.  Holding onto Ingram and AP through the bye weeks will be tough.  

3. (3) Aethernauts - (3-0) The Nauts stayed undefeated but suspended in place on Cam's hobbling around the field. There's a lot to go on here, but they need Cam to be at least QB2 level to reach the upper aether. His upside is too high to bench unless definitively injured

4. (4)  SanFranciscoFerries (2-1)- The Ferries coasted on low triple digits and lucked out not to get scooped up by the Pelicans.  Stafford and Lacy both foundered in a drill-holes-in-your-skull boring game in Detroit.  Wilson outplayed Stafford on the bench for the second straight week, stoking the 2nd year of QB controversy. 

5.  (5) BuildingDwellingThinking  (2-1)- BDT won the battle of the Cowboys game with a Romo-Bryant hook-up helped America's Team to victory, but they lost in week 3 war as no other player found the endzone.   As long as Dallas is run-heavy BDT's double titration is going to be sporadic.  They'll try and cobble together injury-starters like Robinson and Brown and think their way out of this one. 

6.  (7) Old Future (1-2)  - the Futurists put up a good show, eclipsing triple digits as Peyton added another data point on his crazy statistical outlier comeback QB status.  Knile did a pretty good Charles impression and should be a worthy handcuff if he misses any more time.  It's going to be a trick picking between F-Jax and Spiller week-to-week - they might save themselves the trouble and trade one for some WR depth. Going sans-DB this week was a ballsy move, designed to keep the maximum RBs (currently 7 in house) - it'll be interesting to see their roster come the bye weeks.

7. (6)  Trichs  (0-3) - The Shogun had a trademarked Monday Night hair-pulling session when they had reason to fear that Cutler might carve up their playoff hopes.  Maclin and the Keepernick kept them in this one after a woeful ground game where Shady got his bell rung, then came back but might as well have stayed away (averaging just over a 1 YPC) and Rainey played fumble football in the Bucs sideshow.  The Muscle Hamster could be back to prop up the regime in week 4. 

8. (9)  Polk High Panthers (1-2) - Polk got dropped by the bigger, badder Girlz this week, but without Charles that was near to a foregone conclusion. If Tannehill gets RL benched, then that should solve the Bundies QB battle for itself.  AJ gets an early by week to rest his toe, hopefully Jamaal hasn't punched anybody on video and the Pathers should be ready to revive their former glory in the by weeks.  

9. (8)  Pelican Brief (0-3)-  The Legal Thrillers were again the victims again in week 3, clipped by the Ferries to fall into the dreaded 0-3 hole approaching byes.  JGPG has yet to break 100 and despite lower scores across the board this season, they're headed to the bottom of the docket.  Lynch and Julio were b345tly yet again, but now Woodhead is gone for the season the Dirty Birds will have to go to the wire for fresh legs. Unless Brady can get his downfield game going, the Grishamites will be mid-range opportunists.

10. (11)  Homespun Neckbloodz (1-2) - The Cylcotron took some self-respect out of a split with Col , Mustard following a painful week 2 upset. Foles had his best game on a hot cycle, Nio-Gio turned in his third straight double digit, nagging injury news for V-Jax might at least cure the Bloodz of inflated expectations.   Bye weeks come just in time, there's room on the roster for the Bloodz to steal some quality depth.

11. (10)  Dijonaise All Stars (1-2)   - Nothing gets the rankings goat more than playing high profile inactive players - Roddy and Arian fit the bill.   The Mustard Men may not have had the guns on their bench to get a sweep from the Bloods, but as it stands they punted on second down. 

12. (12) Shock_Pix  (1-2) - Shock the world! The Shockers picked up their first win since week 5 2012. The Feely-kicker protest is still in place, but the Primordial ones quietly bumped Hill into a starting role where he found the endzone, the difference in this game. If the legacy Commish is truly off auto-pilot all bets are off, but the ratings will take it with a grain of salt for now. 

Preseason Power Rankings 2014

And now his watch is ended...

A virile Commish takes power

After a bit of preseason bloodletting worthy of Game of Thrones three franchises (two legacy) are gone, a commish toppled, and a shell-shocked league wondering what to expect next.  Well, if you've read the books you know, a bit of orientalist fantasy, a lot of talky intrigue and not nearly as many boobs as the early seasons.  Rankings don't mean much until the cleats hit meaningful turf, but that never stopped us before.


1.  Trichs  -  The new Shogun rides into town on the heels of last year's victory. Shady McCoy and the Muscle Hamster will muster a top tier run attack. And the General will hope that cheap keeper Julius Thomas can cover for dual WR2s in an aerial attack.  Keeper-nick and RGIII round out at QB with a dual running QB strategy.  It's a balanced attack with some big names on defense, it's a new day for the Rising Sun.

2  SanFranciscoFerries - The Bay Area Boatmen are ready for another run at the title after a Cinderella streak ended ingloriously in December last year.  They return RB1 Lacy and talented deep threat Patterson. Question marks abound with Gronk and Welker injury concerns and Bell's off field concerns. But expect big numbers out of a QB competition between Wilson and Stafford.  There's plenty of reason to be sanguine about the Ferries as playoff repeaters.

3.)  Phat Girlz - The Girlz returned a WR-RB on the cheap with Garcon and Tate (finally traded out from behind Arian).  That allowed them to pick up some brand name help in the form of RB1 Forte,  a pair of legit wideouts in Hilton and Cobb, and a solid QB2 in Luck. They're thin in the way of depth, but if Luck or Tate takes a big step forward they'll be heavy-hitters again.

4.) TakingTigerMountain  - The Mountain kept the unlikely TE-WR combo, although an appeals court had to make it official that Graham is a TE.  After narrowly missing the playoffs last year, TTM put the band back together returning QB1 Brees and a host of flex candidates in Vereen and Sproles. The elephant in the room is the huge bid for AP, if he's healthy 16 games then he might be worth it.  If not then the Mountain will be over-reliant on air power yet again this year.

5.)  Pelican Brief -  The Legal Eagles kept a QB-DEF combo in Brady and Seattle's defense. A bounce back for the Brady is the foundation of their season, but the engine is the two presumed top backs of the ground game Lynch M0b and Charles.   Always a wheeler-dealer we fully expect the Brief to hit the back channels before the season gets too old and trade up to improve their air attack.

6.) Homoerasmus James - August surprise with a bullet, the former Commish and  top seed in last year's playoffs dropped out only weeks before the draft. His franchise assumed by a mysterious new-comer is still a force to be reckoned with.  With Peyton as a keeper, there's obligatory talk of age and injury risk.  If he's a repeat of last year then the New Kids start the year with one foot in the playoff circle.   They'll hope that the Bills will finally figure out how to use Spiller, and that Frank the Tank isn't running on empty. 

7.) BuildingDwellingThinking   - The Black Forest returns the dynamic Cowboys duo of Romo and Bryant, hope, like everybody in the Metroplex, that they can't fuck things up indefinitely. With Morris and Monte Ball there's hope for a solid ground game. But depth is lacking with Gerhart at flex an aging Reggie Wayne as WR3.   Still the German Philosopher's are known titrators, so they'll expect them to test the trade/wire waters soon enough to find the right strength.

8.)  Homespun Neckbloodz - the Spinners return a RB-WR in Joique and V-Jax. With bell cows Ellington and Nio-Gio in the backfield, they'll hope to draw consistent power on the ground this year. A lot depends on mercurial QB2 Nick Foles in a wide-open Philly offense. Toss in another top flight year for Brandon Marshall and the Cyclotron might have a dope mixture this time around.
  
9.)  Polk High Panthers   -  Al Bundy's crew kept the biggest dollar number in the league with Megatron and AJ. They also arguably kept the top two receivers in the league.  To get out of the gate they'll need those thoroughbreds to be tops again. Because there's precious little else here. Thomas and Blount as borderline RB2 and R-Burger as QB4 both need upgrades. The Panthers are an obvious trade partner with two spare WR1 in Julio on a injury rebound year and the ageless Fitzgerald.

10.) Aethernauts   - The Nauts returned the QB-RB combo of Newton and Murray, hoping that both can achieve that next step in 2014.  True to their name they drafted Big Air picking up Cruz, Jordy and Emmanuel Sanders, big time deep threats all.  As a result the Rolling Beer Barrel Stacy and newly minted Jet Ivory will fight for RB2 rights.

11.)  Dijonaise All Stars   - Col Mustard and Crew missed the draft and predictably suffered the pains of auto-pick while crossing the international dateline. A-Rodg is still a top flight QB as a keeper, but they'll rely on the computer picks to do the rest of their lifting.  Looking to reclaim faded glory are WR2s White and Wallace.  A bounce back year for Arian would make the Mustard men's roster a little more palatable.

12.) Shock_Pix - Where can you start the year after an 0-fer in the previous year? No lower certainly.   The Pixies return Demarius as top flight receiver.  They'll hope to get similar air space from breakout Allen and a fully rehabbed Harvin.  They'll wait for Ray Rice to sit out his wife-beating suspension, and hope they can get some young numbers out of potential futures picks like Hill and Mason.  Every year we predict that the primordial Commish will return to former glory, is this they year they shock the world?