PSAS Chatbot

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Week 9 Recap

 
 
Another nail-biting finish to MNF thrillers in the PSAS wrap up an exciting week that was Week 9.  Three of the top-4 upper echelon teams went down to the underdogs while TigerMountain joins the top-tier with a beat down of the Uptown Girlz.  Bottom-of-food-chain Pelican and Trichs contributed to the mess by beating the Dwellers and the Condiments respectively.  Polk High got the moral-boosting win behind Big Ben's 6 TD night in as many weeks, and we finally saw a week where the parity trend finally reversed.  On the market side, the investors were just a mere 2-pts-by-Bloodz away from being actuated a bail-out fashion 100 bankerbytez freebie payoff.  Still, with upsets abound, those who were bullish on the dogs in Week 9 all got solid returns on their investments as the market as a whole had the biggest gain of the season since Week 2.

PSAS's Weekly Fan-pick

That was fun, our new pickin's game except I picked mostly Broncos so it wasn't too fun for me.  I won't pick three from the same team again and I won't proclaim Orange Crush back again, but I could totally see that game or its variation making a come-back in the future.  The highest scoring combination was B. Roethlisberger, J. Maclin, J. Hill, and R. Gronkowski.  Our winner is Colonel Mustard, who picked two out of the four best performers (Maclin and Gronk).  While his league-leading winning streak was stripped, his drained waiver money gets a restock so he can pay for Amukamara replacement mei yo wenti. 

Dijon: Luck 29.66 + Foster 18.90 + Maclin 29.80 + Gronk 16.50 = 94.86
Future: Peyton 22.32 + Foster 18.90 + Dez 7.50 + Gronk 16.50 = 65.22
Trix: Peyton 22.32 + Charles 14.80 + DT 13.70 + Julius 9.70 = 60.62
Pelican: Russel 10.26 + Lynch 26.30 + TY 13.10 + Julius 9.70 = 59.36
Nauts: Brees 17.33 + Foster 18.90 + DT 13.70 + Gronk 16.50 = 66.43
TTM: Peyton 22.32 + Antonio 21.40 + Charles 14.80 + Jimmy G 14.30 = 72.82



The Mustards collect pot plus matching funds, +33 bb.  Nice.

Stock Market
There's odds, and there's odds.  After pay-schedule restructure, the aim was to refrain from over pumping the waiver market with free money.  Week 9 results could have easily blew that policy out the window, almost handing out Benjamin Franklins left and right.  In the end, it wasn't meant to be and nothing crazy like that happened.  But just a reminder, if you don't play, you won't get paid.  And those who played, you got served. 

Hot-lanta: Polk won but Future lost
Babylon: Nauts won, but Girlz, Dijon and BDT lost
Catz: Trix won but BDT and Shock lost
Upsetters: TTM, Trix and Pelican won, but Bloodz lost

Recap
Future: +37
TTM (+10)
Trix (+15)
Pelican (+15)
Polk (+5)
Hot-lanta (-5)
Fan-pick (-3)

Trix: +22
Trix (+15)
Fan-pick (-3)
dividends (x5=+10)

Nauts: +25
Trix (+15)
TTM (+10)
Fan-pick (0)

TTM: +28
Trix (+15)
TTM (+10)
Fan-pick (-3)
dividends (x3=+6)

Dijon: +33
Fan-pick (-3+36)

Pelican: -1
Fan-pick (-3)
dividends (+2)

Polk: +2
dividends (+2)


It's all about the numbers


Public Funds Index:
+370+146=+516

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Week 9 Casino Gulag

 
 
In this week's casino, we are doing something new, inspired by another suggested game.  The weekly fantasy game is now a super popular thing, and while I myself don't touch that shit, we can totally incorporate the idea into Casino Gulag. 

So this week, you are picking yourself a team of QB, RB, WR, & TE, one player for each position.  Whoever picks the combination with most points scored in Week 9 will win the pool and the matching funds. 

The price is same as always, 3 bankerbytes per bet.  Because it's a combination thing with larger playing field, there's no restriction to pick a player for a position someone else has already picked.  So, technically speaking, you can pick exactly the same combo someone else has already picked, but this will split the pot in case of win and you aren't getting as good of odds, so I'd think twice about it.  But if you ever wanted to pick someone's plates, this is the week to do it.  I'll give you the liberty to change lineup until TNF kickoff in case someone isn't happy about someone else riding his horse. 
QB Luck, WR Antonio Brown, RB D. Murray, and TE Gronk is the leader combo of the season, so if that's the winning combo, EVERYONE GETS $3 REFUND. 

One ticket per franchise, except for Nauts.  Nauts' suggestion inspired this game, so he gets a free ticket (you can pay for another one if you choose). 

Post below for orders.  Because it's a combo game (plus I'll be in the wilderness tomorrow), I won't restrict myself to the usual 3-24 rule, though I probably won't post until later tonight. 

Week 9 Stock Market & Previewz



Week 9 is here.  Can't believe Josh Gordon is a couple of weeks away from actually returning.  Time flies, and while several teams have probably been pushed off the cliff, the actual race to the playoffs as well as battle for first-round bye is only heating up.  It only gets more interesting as the bye bonanza starts in Week 9 with six teams on bye.   The bye teams in Week 9 are: Atlanta, Buffalo, Chicago, Detroit, Green Bay, and Tennessee.
Another fat one got fatter on a casino hit in Week 8.  It's clear the dough is baking more breads needed for bye-hungry owners, and while not quite the level of last year, it is an inflated market of at about 15% at Week 8.  If you look, there are opportunities to grow your waiver cash. 

The payout schedule for each 5 bankerbitez bet is as following.

                                      Blue Chip     Market Performer     Junk
Blue Chip (#1-4*)                  5                      3                          2
Market Performer (#5-8*)     10                     5                          3
Junk (#9-12*)                        15                     10                        5

*Based on weekly Power Rankingz.  In case of a tied rank, commissioner's ruling will be published here.


The Guide
-Playoffs Preview, Luck's Speedway vs Crescent City Connection
(1) Phat Girlz 7-1 (3 bb) vs (5) TakingTigerMountain 5-3 (10 bb)
Girlz face another preview for playoffs in a match against resurgent TigerMountain.


Even in a loss, three players went over 22 pts and fourth almost reached 20 for Monique.  Last week's was a game that the Phat One admitted was bound to happen, sooner or later.  It didn't affect their first-round-bye prospect, as the second-placed BDT also went down and got gobbled up by Mustards and TigerMTn into the pack.  Green Bay, Chicago, and Tennessee on bye affect the Girlz heavily here, making the Girlz thin especially at running backs, with both Forte and Sankey sitting out.  Monique's rather not drop two in a row and sandwich her Birthday with two losses, especially with Week 10 match against BDT on Luck_Hilton bye looming.  Tough stretch for Up Town Top-Ranking Girlz.

TigerMountain had a rebound week, with Antonio Brown's dominant perfomance complimenting Big Ben supplementing the Triple Crescent City Connection well.  The second highest score of the week was tarnished only by the lack of production by the Patriots receivers (Edelman & Vereen).  TTM will look to strike fast on with CCC on TNF against not-so-dominant Carolina D.  


Girlz are missing some pieces here, so an upset pick looks appetizing.



-Waiting for Gordon
(2) AEthernauts 6-2 (3 bb) vs (8) HomeSpunNeckBloodz 4-4 (10 bb)
Contender versus wannabee is a crucial match for both when each is missing key NFC North players on bye.

Nauts had Week 8's highest scoring offense despite Cam scoring a mere 5.64 pts on a no TD day, but the depth covered it more than enough with Sanders, Tate and Murray all going over 20.  Gates and Buffallo D complemented with stellar 16+ performances.  With Tate and Marty-B on bye in Week 9 and Josh Gordon still several weeks away from his return, Nauts used the new-found waiver cash on Ridley-replacement Jonas Gray and Big Ben #3 target M. Bryant, but these are significant downgrades to say the least.  It's a dangerous week for Big Sky.

Bloodz lost a tough one in Week 8 to resurgent Shock and are still hovering around the .500 mark.  Currently on the outside looking in at seventh place, Bloodz are in a similar spot of lacking scores to back their cause.  As always, the 2014 version grinds out wins, but to do so the Spinnerz need the loud-mouth WR tandem of Marshall and Smith Sr. producing.  The backfield of Bernard and Ellington as well as QB Foles have had their byes already, so if they can manage a win in Marshall's bye week, things can look up for the Bloodz' cause.  Beating Nauts, while a tough challenge, is a good start.  Loss here will put their backs against the river.

The game in a week Nauts are slightly vulnerable is a solid upsetter bet.


-Battlefield Aurora
(3) Dijonnaise All-Stars 6-2 (2 bb) vs (9) Trichotillomaniacs 2-6 (15 bb)
30 or so years ago, owners of these franchises lived within several miles of each other in Aurora, CO, a suburb of Denver.  Maybe they met at the Firestation tour, K-Mart toy isle, or waiting in line to sit on Santa's lap at the Cherry Creek Mall.  Years have passed and both have traveled thousands of miles, and here they meet again, this time in the PSAS battle field.


Cashing in on Arian Foster staying relatively healthy and showing off his 2012 self, Dijonnaise All-Stars is the hottest team in the league riding a five-game winning streak and holding the thunderbolt.  Even better, the next three opponents for Colonel is combined for 4-20 records (Trix, Polk and Pelican), so the record can extend to eight before they have a showdown with Phat Girlz in Week 12.  It's not easy for Colonel this week as A-Rodg and Rod-White are on bye, but the Draftbots had thought about it all; they have MVP-candidate Philip RIvers stashed.  Colonel has started to loosen up his wallet as well, landing LaFell to fill the gap.  With Foster looks to have a good game to extend it to six-games for the Yellow against JJ Watt and the Trix defense.

Hanging on a cliff with just the fingers, the Far East Rulaz ground one out against Polk High also battling with their backs against the river.  With the league's fourth highest score and six losses, it's simple for the Trix; each game is a Win-Or-Out.  The receiver titration is starting to gel, and while McCoy is still a disappointment, at least Bradshaw is holding up while scoring TDs and Denard Robinson looks to be a capable RB2/Flex as well in case Bradshaw or McCoy goes down.  In Palmer, they found a capable back-up to Kaep with a double-titration upside, though Michael Floyd's goose-egg in Week 8 out of Flex-start with Palmer at realm was a huge hair-pulling boxsheet for General Far East.  The Trix need Julius Thomas to regain form against the hottest team of the league.

Two words: Ring It.



Cali Bowl 2.0
(4) BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng 6-2 (2 bb) vs (11) ThePelicanBrief 1-7 (15 bb)
The second meetings of the season between these two bitter west coast rivals feature two teams at the opposite end of spectrum, but as rivalry games go, this is no cake-walk for nobody.

Boyz in Chico's loss to Dijon in Week 8 was bitter and not sweet, as Romo apparently re-injured his back.  While looking like something he may be willing to play through, we don't know a) if he'll be able to play this week, or b) how it'll affect his play even if he plays.  Their QB stash RGIII may or may not be ready.  While a clear athletic talent, what the media seemed to have forgotten (but not General) is how everyone in Redskin Nation was clamoring for Kirk Cousins to replace RGIII because of his ineffectiveness.  Still, RGIII is a viable fantasy weapon with his legs while the injury concern with him is quite possibly greater than that of Romo.  Nelson and the new Buffalo RB tandem on bye and Montee still a week or two away from a return means a rare two-TE look for BDT this week, possibly.  This is still the Boyz of Romo-Dez, so the QB's health is occupying the most of Chico whispers this week.

Pelican showed life in their Week 8 loss to TigerMtn with Brady at 34 and Fitz at 23.  Seattle D also had the resurgent double-digit performance, but it's quite possibly a little too late now for the Grishamites.  Pelican 2014 will battle forward with hopes of being remembered for their pride, and the road starts in a game against their bitter rival that paid for their entry fee.

Watch Romo's health this week, if he's a no-go, the favorable odds look more favorable.


-Battle for Survival
(6) SanFranciscoFerries 4-4 (5 bb) vs (7) The Old Future 3-5 (5 bb)
Two middle-of-the-pack teams in a knock-out match.  Winner will stay in the hunt, a loss will put Ferries at the edge and push Future off it.

The Frisco Kids actually had a good game, just not good enough to beat the Nauts and their high score of the week.  Gronk gronking it and Patterson and Lacy's emergence out of sophomore slump are good signs for the Boatmen, but they just can't get out of that win-loss pattern.  Good news, it's odd week so Ferries should have no reservation to get that W here with Russel Wilson visiting now-friendly Oakland Coliseum.

The Week 8 win over Phat Girlz really stamped their presence in PSAS for Old Future.  Now it's time to prove it wasn't afluke.  Not easy to do since neither Knile Davis or Miami D should be expected of repeat performances and the bench is full of injured/suspended players that can't help them during bye.  While Future gets Gore and Crab back, Alshon sits this week and T-Rich is limited with injury.  With Peyton at realm, they are on solid foundation.  Just need the fixtures to shine here.

Even odds favor higher ranked team, but Future is the upsetter's choice.


-Florida-Georgia-Kentucky
(10) Shock_Pix 3-5 (5 bb) vs (12) Polk High Panthers 1-7 (5 bb)
This week's bottom feeding match feature two SEC giants.  Yeah South!

Shock is clearly back and dangerous.  Keenan Allen's resurgence and Witten's rise from grave mixes well with Demaryius's domination.  The surrounding pieces are also shining, with the likes of Cooks and Hill, while Rainey and Harvin have near-future upsides.  A solid QB outing is all El Mundo needs for a contending team.  Soon, they may need that DB2 help, but until then, why fix what's not broken.

Tough loss to Trix probably ended hopes for this year's contribution to Millie's college fund.  The Ben-sane outing was the highest losing score of the season at 145.54.  Steel-city double-titration and Charles are the kind of blue-collar work-horses that it's too bad the Megatron-Green tandem didn't come through.  They could have scored 200.  Once the star receivers return, Bundy has a clear shot at the Moral Victory and Consolation tourney.  So keep checking in between changing diapers.

Hmm.




Derivatives
For Sale:
Hot-lanta: Future win and Polk win (25 bb)
Babylon O-pression: Girlz win, Nauts win, Dijon win and BDT win (35 bb)


Freebies with purchase:
GoCatsGo!!: Nauts win, Trix win, Shock win, and BDT win (40 bb)
Upsetters War Ina Babylon: TTM win, Bloodz win, Trix win and Pelican win (100 bb) <---BAILOUT

Power Rankings Week 9




What the fuck was that? A crazy week in the NFL led to some massive scores in PSAS. Let's get to the numbers. 11 of 12 were over 100,  8 of 12 were over 130, and five were over 140. How'd it happen? Big QB play  - there were 12 QBs over 20 this week (led by R-burger and Brady at 46 and 34 respectively). Big D/ST - 10 D/STs were in double digits (led by Miami and KC at 28 and 19 respectively).  Anyway, it led to a playoff race contraction and complicated things marginally. Two of the top four teams lost.  The Girlz maintain a one game lead on the field for top position. Two of the middle teams lost, allowing the Mountain to stand tall separated by points and a game lead over their rivals for the 5-6 spots.  And three of the bottom five won lending hope that the winners can pick off a 5 or 6 team either by winning percentage (Shock Pix) or by total points tie-breaker (Trichs) or both (Old Future). 



1.  (1)  Phat Girlz - (7-1) - The streak is dead, long live the streak!  No cause for alarm as Phat Ones got dropped by a top five opponent, while beating their projection and scoring in the top six.  Luck, Cobb, Hilton and Forte all had heavyweight days. The loss opens the door a crack for Monique to miss out on a bye, but they've got a playoff ticket queued up in the printer.

2. (3) Aethernauts - (6-2) -  Ho-hum another massive day for the Aerial Explorers, coasting over 150 to the high score of the week. Usually TD averse Sanders caught three in the endzone and Gates picked up two as well. The Camdy Man's clunker against Seattle is somewhat worrisome, but pass rushes don't get much more intense than that. After firing off another chamber of the Demarco Murray Russian Roulette Injury gun, we're starting to wonder if this thing is loaded.

3.  (2) BuildingDwellingThinking  (6-2) - The German Philosophers came into Monday night needing thirty points with Romo/Bryant and Reed to play. After a first half Cowboy Connection (taking nickname suggestions, btw), it looked like they would pull out another win and pull even with Monique. But then Romo spent a few minutes laying on the field at Jerryworld.  As of press time the Cowboyatti are sanguine about running Romo out there again without missed time.  But we've seen his lamented inability to play on Toradol derail seasons past for BDT and the Boys. 



4. (4)  Dijonaise All Stars (6-2)   - With the fall of the last undefeated Zeus' Thunderbolt, the streak tracker returns to action, favoring the Spicy Mustard Men who stirred up two close upsets over former champion franchises in the past two weeks.  With five in a row the Autodraft Kids are toeing the playoff line. Rodgers has three straight weeks over 20 and Foster has been in double digits for four.  That's the combo that's going to write the checks for DAS down the stretch.  In week nine Rodg and Fost combined for 53% of their total score.

5. (6) TakingTigerMountain  (5-3) -  After a three game dive the Fighting Tigers finally got their noses pointing up.  Needing thirty to equalize with three Saints on SNF, the Crescent City Connection reappeared and Ingram dominated an uncrowded NOLA backfield.  Brees has quietly started to pick his season up with 3 out of 4 games over 20.  Ingram and Hillman are unlikely to stick as consistent RB1, but they at least add variety to the pass catching backs on the bench. 

6. (5)  SanFranciscoFerries (4-4)-    The Ferries put up a good number at 138, but were sunk by the high scorer of the week Aethernauts. Gronk had his first super GRONK week of the year, putting up 33 and the Lacy and Bell combo were both effective, but touchdown-less. It was an even week so Russel Wilson was underwhelming.  The Ferries have been trending upward and managed 130+ three of the last four weeks.  They've got one of the toughest remaining schedules 

7.  (8) Old Future (3-5)  - Don't tell the Future it's over, they know different. The Ancient Ones led the rebellion of the bottom half by handing PG their first loss of the season. It was a weird and wacky line-up day with zeroes from Torrey Smith and Trent Richardson, a 20 from backup RB Knile Davis and 28 from the Miami D/ST.  Peyton's still at the helm so you can't count them out - but they're middle of the road points wise, so they probably need a little help or a prolonged win streak. 

8. (7)  Homespun Neckbloodz (4-4) - Coughing up blood after a punishing introduction to the second half of the season, the Spinners need to rally quickly.  They lost a low-scoring affair to the Shock after Nio-Gio missed precious time with an injury, and Indy's defense got annihilated by Big Ben. The Cyclotron is points poor so a loss is a significant detractor to their playoff chances. 4-1 should do it, but with some tough squads ahead they'll need to break their 110 ceiling to make it happen. 

9. (10)  Trichs  (2-6) - It ain't over yet, the Trichs picked up a much needed win in the game of the week, an unexpected fire-fight with Polk. Picking up a 21 from Carson Palmer on a QB bye week was key, but Maclin and Watkins getting involved in the Sunday points bonanza was what put them in the elite scoring table this week. They're fourth by points and so will win against almost any tiebreakers  for a fifth or sixth spot. In order to get there, they'll need to win out and hope the bar stays at 7-6.

10. (9) Shock_Pix  (3-5) - The Shockers got to spoil the Neckbloodz day with a handy low-ball win to move them within two of .500. A bold move of starting Bortles nearly cost them as Cutler put up nearly 15 more on the bench.  They need help to make the playoffs since they're third lowest by points. But their current ceiling (110s) could easily cap a few teams left on their schedule. 

11. (12)  Pelican Brief (1-7) -  The Grishamites gave it their best effort to bag a Tiger in week 8 and make it two in a row, but couldn't tie up a happy ending. Monster games from Brady and Fitzy hid a variety of lowballs here, especially Lynch's alleged feuding with the team. It was the Pelicans' highest score by more than 28 points.

12. (11)  Polk High Panthers (1-7) - Sometimes it's just not your season - and nothing says that more than losing the closest game of the week after scoring 145 against a fellow 1-6 squad. Did I mention that your two best players were on the shelf during said shootout?  Yeah. That happened too. If nothing else, the Bundys are well-positioned in the Moral Victory standings with their valiant week 8 effort. 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Week 8 Recap

 
 
And then there were none, finally.  And the curse is over, finally. 

In a week full of competitive matches throughout the league, Phat Girlz went down to the Old Future riding behind unlikely heroes of Knile Davis and Miami DEF while the Trix beat Ben-sanity and Polk High to lift the curse of Burt Reynolds from the Celebrity Jeopardy stock derivative.  Props to Future for starting Knile on the day he returned a kickoff for a TD and scored another on the ground, though the decision was out of necessity more than anything.  And despite the loss, Bundy was rewarded for his faith in Big Ben after two consecutive lackluster performances and almost came up with the second win of the season.  We should no longer consider Dijon a cinderella, after the Mustards held off BDT and retained firm grip of their playoffs aspiration. 

And just like that, we have just come to the turning point of the 2014 season.  Things will pick up now in the race to the playoffs, just as the mega-load of bye teams start in Week 9.  Six teams will be on bye for each of the next two weeks and four teams on Week 11, just as it comes to fantasy crutch time.  Teams probably have been preparing for this for awhile with increased spending in waivers, as half of the league has less than 40 bankerbytes left in their wallet, and three have less than 25.  If you are counting on pulling off some trades to fill gaps in the lineup during bye weeks, just a friendly reminder that the PSAS trade deadline is in November 14, that's in two weeks and a change.

Screaming Target
There were some elite WR performances throughout the week while the Goliathes of that position is away.  Antonio Brown is proving he's the number one WR of 2014, amassing 13 targets by Big Ben.  Jeremy Maclin lead the league in targets with 16 and celebrated with a Gatorade shower, which meant no refund for us.  Across the pond, Stafford targeted Golden Tate 15 times to land the Nauts their much-awaited casino prize.

TigerMtn: Antonio Brown, 13 tgt
Pelican: Julio Jones, 6 tgt
Girlz: TY Hilton, 10 tgt
Trix: Sammy Watkins, 6 tgt and one early celebration
Future: Jordy Nelson, 5 tgt
Nauts: Golden Tate, 15 tgt


Nauts wins the pot including the matching funds, and gains +33.  Nice.


Stock Market
Like mentioned above, Celebrity Jeopardy finally hit, as Future and Trix finally managed to win on a same week.  No one bought the cursed derivative and hit big.  Investors instead focused on individual stocks.

Celebrity Jeopardy:  Future and Trix both won
West Coast: BDT, SFF, and Pelican all lost
Babylon: Girlz, Nauts, and TTM won, but Bloodz lost
Upsetters: Future and Shock won, but SFF and Pelican lost


Recap
TTM: +7
Trix (+5)
Target (free)
dividends (+2)

Nauts: +35
Trix (+5)
Girlz (-5)
Target (-3+36)
dividends (+2)

Trix: +10
Trix (+5)
Target (-3)
dividends (x4=+8)

Future: -7
Trix (+5)
Girlz (-5)
TTM (+3)
Bloodz (-5)
Nauts (+3)
BDT (-5)
Target (-3)

Girlz: +1
Target (-3)
dividends (x2=+4)

Pelican: -3
Target (-3)

BDT: +2
dividends

Bloodz: +2
dividends
Things probably won't go as scripted

Public Funds Index:
+323+47=+370

Monday, October 27, 2014

Trix Send Muscle Hamster to Labor Camp to Generate Electricity for North Korea

ESPN Far East


General Far East has stripped Doug Martin aka Muscle Hamster of Far East citizenship and sent him to a labor camp in Siberia operated by the North Koreans to generate electricity for that peninsular purgatory.

Sources in the Far East headquarters, Russia's Far East region and North Korea all confirmed the news, first reported by FOX-Far East on Sunday.

Martin has been a disappointment in fantasy football this season, but he's know for his tenacity and devotion to running, which apparently the Young Great Leader of the rogue state liked as a solution to the unreliable electricity situation in the North.  While he may be rescued from the tireless wheel spinning in the coming weeks by other PSAS franchises looking for bye-week fill-ins, his work in the Far East fantasy land is apparently over after the General drafted him for $36 in the 2014 Draft and high expectations were placed on him.  Waiver pick-ups Ahmad Bradshaw and Denard Robinson will handle the RB2 position moving forward, according to the source in the Far East headquarters.

Martin will generate as much electricity as he did clicks for the blog

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

PSAS CRAFT BEER REPORT #2: Blue Moon

What's up?  Welcome to the 2nd PSAS Craft Beer Report.   My total bro Luke recommended Blue Moon to me and I had to check it out.  


2 total bros and 1 total/complete stranger (and/or vagrant). 

I have been drinking a shit ton of Shock Top this week and life has been fucking great.  Picked up my first win this season and finally got that big promotion at work.  All thanks to Shock Top!   

BUT DAMN.  BLUE MOON IS FUCKING AWESOME TOO.  

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The packaging on this fucking bad boy sucks.  



It's plain as shit.  Whereas Shock Top isn't just a beer...it's an attitude...it's a lifestyle brand, bro.   The Blue Moon logo makes me want to take a nap on the A train and wake up 7 hours later in Far Rockaway without my wallet and my fucking sweet coral necklace I bought at a Jack Johnson concert.  Shit needs a makeover.


Before (snooze)



After (BOOYA)

TASTE: Blue Moon fucking rules!   I mean it tastes exactly like Shock Top but that's not a bad thing.  THAT'S A FUCKING GREAT THING!  I love Shock Top

FINAL RATING: Highest Rating!  A+.  Five Stars.  Guggenheim Fellowship, bro.