12. Phat Girlz (0-4) (last week T. 11)
A woeful drubbing for the Phat Ones in Week 4 with Tony Gonzales leading the way with 11 points at TE. Schaub, MJD, Bradshaw and Roddy all stayed single digits, which is some bad luck. A big day for any of them might have put them in contention. You have to do a little digging to find upsides to the Girlz day this week, but there were signs of life from Cook and Williams on the bench. The Girlz need to go to the wire like no other - just because you drafted 3 tight ends, doesn't mean you have to hold them for three weeks.
Next Week - Raiders - The Girlz draw another Milesian high-ceiling squad and take another shot at their first win of the season. PG has a couple of favorable match-ups and (mercifully) no starters on bye. Is this they sit on some one?
T. 10. Cincinnati Dangles (1-3) (last week 10) -
The Dangles followed up their first victory of the year with another strong performance. Unfortunately, they matched up against the league's high scorer in week 4, the Pelicans. However, there's no reason to moan for Dangles fans - they eclipsed 110 for the fourth straight week. They're legitimately dangerous to every team that plays them. With Ryan starting to find the end zone more often, and Daniels looking more like Schaub's go-to target, there's reason to be optimistic about the Cincinnati ball-club.
Next Week - TTM - The Eleatic leaders are not as scary as they look on paper. They'll be missing an RB1 and their vaunted Ravens D/ST, looking very, very beatable. Watson is the best bench option to fill their own bye hole at flex, or they could go to the wire for the first time (always an exciting moment for an expansion team). The Dangles will be hunting for the upset of the week!
T 10. dETHRONED_kING (0-3-1) - (last week T.11)
You knew it was coming. Bananas Foster returned and led the kIng to the first
You knew it was coming. Bananas Foster returned and led the kIng to the first
v̶i̶c̶t̶o̶r̶y̶ heartbreaking tie of the 2011 campaign. This was all written up as a win, but the D/ST mix-and-match bit the Royals again. Still, it doesn't change much. With nine games remaining the kIng could still go on a run. Every week without a win requires the run to be that much longer. Matthews, Jones, Bryant, hell even Blaine Gabbert contributed 10 or more. DK left nothing important on the bench and got a little something from everybody. And that's what they'll need week in and week out without JC to round out their (Once and Future dominant) running attack.Next Week -Vix - The Dawgs have been chasing their own tail of late, and this is an opportunity the kIng can't afford to miss to move up the Milesian ladder. This is the 2nd of 5 straight big Milesian games that will determine the kIngs fate this season.
T. 8 . Trichotillomaniacs (2-2) (last week 9) -
Next Week - Ferries - If Gore's healthy he should step up to the RB1 again, and face a key match-up against Eleatic rivals Ferries. Colston still didn't play this week, but his return could catalyze the Trichs' playoff run.
T 8. Tusken Raiders (2-2) (last week 5) -
The Raiders dropped their second straight, and this time with a perilously low score. Like their fellow denizens of the 8 spot they're a highly volatile team. That volatility could trend up if Run DMC ever starts seeing goal-line carries and if Chris Johnson keeps his head above double digits going forward. Britt's injury is a permanent dent to their ambitions, especially since Miami is struggling to get Marshall the ball in the red zone. Week to week may depend on how much Brady needs to throw.
Next Week - PG -Which Raiders will show up in Week 5? If it's Week 4's version, they'll give the Girls their first win.
T 6. SF Ferries (3-1) (last week 8) - 
T 2. The Pelican Brief (3-1) (last week 7) -
Team B34ST award goes to the Legal Thrillers. Soaring for the second straight week, the Pelicans finally get a little bit of respect. How long it'll last, we shall see. Aaron Rodgers racked up an ungodly 45 points, breaking the Dangles stride single-handedly. Witten and Welker over-titrated as well as a double digit bench performance from Woodson. Several layers of dominance. Aaron Rodgers won't play Denver every week. Welker won't play Oakland. But they will be the class of the league. Its easy to forget mediocre performances by running backs when the points are this amped up. It's scary to think that another cheap buy, Stevan Ridley might pump those numbers up as well.
Next Week - AEthernauts - this should be an interesting case, since the 'Nauts have more holes to fill but also more cash and spare parts than the Firm. It's an aerial battle, but it remains to be seen if the birds will be flying high at the end of week 5.
T 2. BldgDwllngThnkng (2-1-1) - (last week 2)-With another superior Cam Newton week the Ferries pulled out their third straight victory and continue their march in the Eleatic. Its hard to say what the Ferries' ceiling is, since they haven't fired on all cylinders yet. Hillis lack of a contract seems to be rankling the Cleveland offense. If Green-Ellis starts to lose snaps to Ridley, it could be a drain going forward. They have an elite defensive squad and triple piece of the New England offense, it should be interesting to see how much of that they can protect over the bye-weeks.
Next Week - Trichs - They'll stay on the road with an Eleatic match-up against the Hair Pullers. This one is anyone's guess.
Next Week - JGPB - Winners of two straight, the Nauts will play another hot hand in what could qualify as the Game of the Week.
5. GrossmanSachs (2-2) (last week 4)
Well, the good news is evidently Vick is healthy, as his 29 points Sunday will attest. The bad news is that the Bankers dropped a second game in-division and fell back to .500. It's a hard loss to swallow, when you score 125 points and make all the right moves to put your best team on the field -- but the Bankers are going to be a team to be reckoned with going forward. Sidney Rice and Greg Olsen seem to have magicked themselves into gold. However, Mendy's injury is one of those nagging things we could see Grossman downgraded as the bye weeks progress.
Next Week - BDT - The Bankers will hit up the Heideggerians for an inter-division week 4 match-up. With both teams sitting at an even 2-2, it could determine the course of the season.
4. Vixkennel.com (2-2) (last week 3) -
The Dawgs dropped their second straight on a MNF "comeback" by the Nauts. Last year's champs picked up a monster performance from Forte, and nice double digits from Rice, Harvin & D-Jax. The Skins look like a good year-long play in the D/ST, although they're off next week. Vix needs Grant to get healthy and produce regularly, especially during the byes. One would think it's about time to go with Freeman at QB, who's been much more consistent than the Burgermeister.
Next Week - dk - the Kennel Klub stays in the Milesian looking to break their losing streak and knock the Throneless Ones and avoid a tie with them in week 5. With extensive byes the do-nothing franchise has some decisions to make if they want to keep the King down.
Next Week - Trichs - They'll stay on the road with an Eleatic match-up against the Hair Pullers. This one is anyone's guess.
T. 6. AEthernauts (2-2) (last week 6) -
The AEthernauts collected their second victory, needing only a chip shot from Blount on MNF to get the job done. Megatron led the way with 21, Bowe and Eli came to life and put them in a position to win. It was the 'Nauts highest score of the season, but with Vikings question marks littering the field AP's high end looks lower by the week. The Explorers will need to stay engaged week to week to keep their heads in the clouds.Next Week - JGPB - Winners of two straight, the Nauts will play another hot hand in what could qualify as the Game of the Week.
5. GrossmanSachs (2-2) (last week 4)
Well, the good news is evidently Vick is healthy, as his 29 points Sunday will attest. The bad news is that the Bankers dropped a second game in-division and fell back to .500. It's a hard loss to swallow, when you score 125 points and make all the right moves to put your best team on the field -- but the Bankers are going to be a team to be reckoned with going forward. Sidney Rice and Greg Olsen seem to have magicked themselves into gold. However, Mendy's injury is one of those nagging things we could see Grossman downgraded as the bye weeks progress.
Next Week - BDT - The Bankers will hit up the Heideggerians for an inter-division week 4 match-up. With both teams sitting at an even 2-2, it could determine the course of the season.
4. Vixkennel.com (2-2) (last week 3) -
The Dawgs dropped their second straight on a MNF "comeback" by the Nauts. Last year's champs picked up a monster performance from Forte, and nice double digits from Rice, Harvin & D-Jax. The Skins look like a good year-long play in the D/ST, although they're off next week. Vix needs Grant to get healthy and produce regularly, especially during the byes. One would think it's about time to go with Freeman at QB, who's been much more consistent than the Burgermeister.
Next Week - dk - the Kennel Klub stays in the Milesian looking to break their losing streak and knock the Throneless Ones and avoid a tie with them in week 5. With extensive byes the do-nothing franchise has some decisions to make if they want to keep the King down.
Next Week - AEthernauts - this should be an interesting case, since the 'Nauts have more holes to fill but also more cash and spare parts than the Firm. It's an aerial battle, but it remains to be seen if the birds will be flying high at the end of week 5.
A Monday night miracle keeps the Heideggerians in the driver's seat in the Milesian. Turner & Fred Jackson continue to impress. BDT also picked up a nice stop-gap for injured Miles Austin in D-Moore. The Stafford vs. Romo debate took on a RL dimension and BDT picked wrong with what could have made the difference. Without the double titration it's doubtful that Romo is worth it, and when Benson's suspended he's got his handcuff. With four division games played an only one loss BDT still has the inside track to the division title. They'll have to show some cunning to ride the bye-weeks, but taking a sojurn in the Eleatic may be just what they need.
Next Week - Grossman Sachs - With the Bankers still nursing their egos following a high-pressure loss to Eleatic rival TTM, BDT look to capitalize on Mendy's questionable status to propel themselves up the Milesian standings.
1. Taking Tiger Mountain (4-0) (Last Week 1) -Zeus' thunderbolt stays with the longest winning streak at 4. Everything we said last week still applies, but more so. Now, four straight weeks of record scoring, four wins (tying last year's total) each one seemingly more improbable than the last. This time the Tigers faced their highest scoring opponent yet, and saw Breesus throw only one touchdown, making the triple titration a marginal fail. When who should come along but Beanie Wells to post 31 points and 3 TDs to lead the Tigers back to victory. As for Beanie Wells, we suspect all of this is simply too good to be true. The Mountain Cats read more like a #5 or 6, but with every win it becomes harder to write off.
Next Week - Dangles - This expectant-father bowl is brought to you by Papa Johns. Grab some cheesy bread and cocaine and hunker down, this is going to be a good one. With every win the letdown grows, the Tigers are so jinxed it's hard to say if they're underdogs or favorites. One thing's sure, they've got some bye-week absences to contend with, including SJax and the Ravens D. Is this the week the Tigers finally take a step back?
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