Casino Gulag Week 1: Recap

Teasing Stallion
GrossmanSachs - Matt Forte - Scored
TTM - Steven Jackson - 122 Total Yards - WINNER
Trichs - Ronnie Hillman - 42 Total Yards
NeckBloodz - Darren Sproles - 110 Total Yards
Polk HS - Eddie Lacy - Scored
Pelican Brief - Ryan Matthews - Scored
BDT - David (Fumble and Cry x2) Wilson - LOLZ
Goslings - Bilal Powell - 64 Total Yards
SF Ferries - CJ?K - 70 Total Yards
Phat Girlz - CJ Spiller - 55 Total Yards

Taking Tiger Mountain wins this week's Teasing Stallion (by strategy). Unfortunately, for TTM, GrossmanSachs Senior VP of Racial Integrity Mel Gibson ruled earlier this week that Tony Gonzalez was "at least 25% unwhite enough to win the Alstott-Kuhn Award."

Tackling Machine
GrossmanSachs - James Laurinitis - 6 Solo Tackles
TTM - Chad Greenway - 5 Solo Tackles
Trichs - Luke Kuechly - 6 Solo Tackles
Neck Bloodz - Paul Posluszny - 10 Solo Tackles
Polk HS - Brandon Magee - I'm not sure this guy played.
Pelican Brief - Bobby Wagner - 4 Solo Tackles
BDT - Sean Lee - 4 Solo Tackles
Goslings - London Fletcher - 6 Solo Tackles
SF Ferries - Luke Kuechly - 6 Solo Tackles
Phat Girlz - JJ Watt - 2 solo tackles

Penn State alum Paul Posluszny wins with a whopping 10 solo tackles. Henceforth, he will be called the tackle monster.

15 BankerBitez for TTM and Neck Bloodz.