Skoolz Out

In a startling move, GrossmanSachs has dissolved the Eleatic and Milesean schools, to yield a division-free PSAS. Details are sketchy, but by sheer luck of the G0dz, Glenn Greenwald was accidentally CC'd on internal emails discussing the switch.

From: Augustus Bush IV (wevegotbush!@grossmansachs.gov)
To: Medussa Rothschild (realeyesrealizereallies@grossmansachs.gov)
CC: Glenn Greenwald (ggreenwald@guardian.uk)
Date: 9/03/2013, 11:59 am

Sup, sugarsnatch? That Peruvian face we had last night was delicious, amirite? Next time, I'll remember the damn steak sauce, that was my bad.

P.S. How's that whole Global Unifuckation thing doing?


From: Medussa Rothschild (realeyesrealizereallies@grossmansachs.gov)
To: Augustus Bush IV (wevegotbush!@grossmansachs.gov)
CC: Glenn Greenwald (ggreenwald@guardian.uk)
Date: 9/03/2013, 12.18 pm

Just chillin, TriBall. Dinner was great, but if you're going to have face, Adolpho's dry rub is really the only way to have it. The Global Unification plan has hit a bit of a snag. I'm not sure the other slaveorgz are gonna go for it. They seem pretty caught up on their divisions, or "schools" as they hilariously call them.


From: Augustus Bush IV (wevegotbush!@grossmansachs.gov)
To: Medussa Rothschild (realeyesrealizereallies@grossmansachs.gov)
CC: Glenn Greenwald (ggreenwald@guardian.uk)
Date: 9/03/2013, 4:28 pm

Sorry for the delayed response, me and Hillary were riding the snake and she couldn't find her mask forever. I did just have an epifany, tho. Why not just say the scheduling was super fuckin hard or some shit. Like, with two divisions, and an odd (is seven odd? I never got that shit right) number of teamz in each division, it would be like, super hard to custom schedule every team playing every other team. You goin to Cheneyz l8r? I think Saddam is back in town, so we can get flip cup revenge!


From: Medussa Rothschild (realeyesrealizereallies@grossmansachs.gov)
To: Augustus Bush IV (wevegotbush!@grossmansachs.gov)
CC: Glenn Greenwald (ggreenwald@guardian.uk)
Date: 9/03/2013, 4:37 pm

My G0dz, you are as you're as brilliant as your are hung. Speak a word of this to nobody. Especially not Greenwald (winkwink).