Week 5 Stock Market

It's Week 5, the week the tides shift.  Three teams remain undefeated, two teams haven't seen the light of day.  Things are about to change, I can see it among the ashes of Mt. Ontake.

We take a little break from bye bonanza with only Miami and Oakland resting after traveling across the pond in the previous week.  These two AFC teams don't have many active fantasy pieces save for some RB2/Flex types.  With more games played, expect injuries to pile up after this week.  So investing your money wisely and growing it for the latter half of the season is prudent.

The payout schedule for each 5 bankerbitez bet is as following.

                                      Blue Chip     Market Performer     Junk
Blue Chip (#1-4*)                  5                      3                          2
Market Performer (#5-8*)     10                     5                          3
Junk (#9-12*)                        15                     10                        5

*Based on weekly Power Rankingz.  In case of a tied rank, commissioner's ruling will be published here. 

Week 5 Matchups:

-PINK Faux Ghetto Bowl prezented by Jimmy Jazz

(1) Phat Girlz 4-0 (3 bb) vs (7) HomeSpunNeckBloodz (10 bb)

On paper, these two are similarly constructed, up-and-coming QB1 (Luck-Foles) and RB1 (Forte-Gio) plus keeper-dynasty WR2 (Garçon-VJax) with value-keeper RB2 injured on the bench.  The difference of records is probably result of the production of QBs.

Luck is by far the best fantasy QB in 2014.  We've come so accustomed to busts since the turn of the century but he's nothing but.  This is his third season and he's rightfully put up fantastic numbers.  Monique's Phattitude is one-dimensional by no means.  Even IDPs had solid games in scoring season-high 158 pts for Monique.  Garçon's was the lone lack of production, but Monique hopes Cousins was just particularly off in TNF and it's nothing a little whooping can't cure.

Spinnerz picked up second in a row despite having their RB1-2 both on bye and Foles lowballing big time.  Steve Smith Sr for a buck is turning out to be the value-pick of the 2014 draft, and Abdullah's prayer to Allah was icing on the cake.  Eli finally getting the grasp of his new offense is a good news for Randle and Donnell, though it may mean more seeds for trouble titration wise for the Bloodz.  Eagles' offensive line is allegedly getting healthier and should help Foles regain some of 2013 form, which makes Spinnerz a dangerous team moving forward.

Favorable odds for upset, though the Girlz do seem unstoppable now.

Not Tebowing is a penalty, son

 -"To Two-TE or not, that is the Question"

(2) AEthernauts 4-0 (2 bb) vs (9) Dijonnaise All-Stars 2-2 (15 bb)

Colonel Mustard blockades the Nauts this week.

As of now, the Best Start of the Season Award should be handed to Eli Manning at QB by the Nauts in Week 4.  Accounting for 5 TDs, it also establishes a solid double-titration in the Big Sky in a form of Big Blue.  Timing is perfect since Newton is not his Superman self this season and Carolina's lack of ground game is really hurting his fantasy numbers.  In a year that top RBs are acting cursed, DeMarco's production is a pleasant aberration.  With solid tandems in RB2 (Stacy-Ivory), WR1-2 (Nelson-Cruz) and TE (Bennett-Gates), this is a champion contender in the making.  It's just that that's hard to imagine with Eli at QB, though it's true what my train's conductor was shouting; "People forget Eli is a two-time Super Bowl MVP! (x4)"

After finally dropping his backup kicker from the roster, the Yellow Condiments look much like a competitive fantasy football team.  They have a luxury of Rodgers and Rivers at QB thanks to botdraft, and Foster and Miller are both at least stay out of trouble and staying healthy.  Vernon is injured but they still got Olsen.  Mike Evans, once he comes back from the recent injury, can be a stud in the endzone for Tampa, which when it comes will make this team a formidable one.  The question is if the rest of the prime-passed players can stay healthy till then.

Sometimes odds just aren't enough to pull di trigga.  Iman sez dis such instance.

-Mr. Gatti's Bowl

(3) TakingTigerMountain 4-0 (5 bb) vs (4) BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng 3-1 (5 bb)

History between these two franchises go way back, like, two decades, a quarter century, lifetime, something like that.  It's for this dinosaur pride and the right to remain in the upper echelon of 2014 PSAS that they battle each other in Week 5.  Historically this is also a battle of double-titration with an exciting Louisiana-Texas style shootout in order.

TigerMountain remained undefeated rather comfortably against Polk High, though monster games by Asiata and Antonio masked some troubling positions.  Sproles would have been a dud if it wasn't for the punt that he returned for a TD.  Brady's inability to throw is really hurting Vereen's upside, although if Pats continue to get blown out it seems that he would be the preferred back over Ridley.  In the end, while the Saints aren't marching, Brees and Jimmy G are putting up decent, if not spectacular, fantasy numbers week-in and week-out.  And that's really the engine of this team.  It may not be a Chevy truck made in Shreveport now, but Toyota trucks run steady and nice too (though I hate their commercial on BotRecap--"Maybe you should buy a Camry and your fantasy team will fare better"  screw you Toyota. 

Romo and Boyz defeated pesky Future Boyz with their season high output.  Morris was a bright spot for the Skins on TNF and will probably see more touches in the coming weeks after interceptionpalooza by Cousins.  Ertz hasn't quite been the second-coming of Witten.  Upon return from bye, Ball should fill in nicely as RB 2 over the rest of Flex candidates.  In truth the Philosophers in Chico are feeling lucky to be not worrying about Romo like he was Tom Brady.  With Romo goes Chico. 

It's easier to buy TigerMountain here on even odds, though anything can happen in a rivalry match.

-Dutch Master Bowl prezented by Airport Shuttle

(5) SanFranciscoFerries 2-2 (5 bb) vs (8) Polk High Panthers 1-3 (5 bb)

Middle of the pack teams battle each other to get the upper hand and stay in early playoff contention.

Still a mixed bag but the pieces are there for the Ferries.  Kelce outscoring Gronk in MNF could spark a TE controversy in the Bay Area.  Looks like Welker will get the start out of the deep but lacking-star-power receiver corp.  Le'Veon Bell is a rare RB1 stud much as he was hyped to be while the pot incident is swept under the rag, and the assumption is that Eddie Lacy is not Trent Richardson, at least not yet.  Ferries have beaten the two winless teams and lost to two undefeateds, and this is when their miraculous run started last season.  We'll see how it goes in 2014.

Amidst a three-game losing streak and a back-to-back matchup against the lossless teams, Bundy is happy to have AJ and Charles back, though they are still thin overall and Megatron lowballing is a concern.  While the ranking g0dz have been lenient on Bundy so far, it's really hard to justify carrying two kickers, especially with Hauschka off his bye, and Polk High roster can use the spot to bulk up on the depth at, say, TE or WR.  Polk High rises and sinks with their two WR1s.

Another match with favorable even odds. 

-Footwear Bowl prezented by Payless Shoes

(6) The Old Future 1-3 (3 bb) vs (10) Trichotillomaniacs 0-4 (10 bb)

Fourth and sixth respectively in total points scored, these two teams wish their records were better at this point.  Both have regularly left points on their benches, so it's more a crap shoot this match is.  With many counter- possibilities, which team will get the titration right in the orient?

The Future Boyz dropped another tough one to resurgent Romos.  Double-titration of Buffalo backfield was a solid move with their bench full of RBBCs, but it probably lowered the ceiling for the McFlies.  While Gore's huge production was a welcomed one, historically 49er's offense is cannibalistic rather than titrative even in a seemingly favorable Philly matchup, so the Ageless One's production probably ate up that of Crab's.  That sort of characterizes the rookie season for the Futuristic Ones, they haven't really been explosive.  At least they face Keeper-nick Hairpullers this week, so 49ers counter-titration could pay off.

Quick: McCoy, Martin, Kaepernick, Ridley, Bradshaw, who leads the Trix in total rushing yards this year.  The answer is Ridley at 204 yards, despite his puny 28 yards in Week 4.  This clearly is the cause of several of the bald spots on the Shogun's head.  They get Keeper Julius back from bye this week, and with Peyton likely starting for Future Boyz, his production will certainly be key for the Hairpullers.  The General has consistently left points on the bench while the starters lowballed, so maybe it's time to bring back Sun Tzu Master of War to manage the rosters while the General himself focuses on the commissioner's job. 

I can't self-promote anymore.  You think the odds are attractive?  Go ahead.

-Early Must Win Bowl

(11) ThePelicanBrief 0-4 (5 bb) vs (12) Shock_Pick 1-3 (5 bb)

Two weeks in a row the two bottom-ranked teams face each other, providing rare even odds against Shock again. 

Watching Pelican this year is all too familiar; another team that's struggling to become young.  Brady's struggle is Pelican's struggle, and while TB12 didn't start in Week 4 the Grishamites had Kirk Cousins take the rein instead.  That fared not much better.  The good news is they get LynchMob back and they face the Shock.  Bad news, well, Brady's 37.  It's time for a reboot.

I almost believed it but Hurns didn't get in the lineup quick enough.  The teasing is killing me.  Another test here in Week 5 with players on bye returning.  How will they protest next?

We expect the Grishamites to collect a sum of dividends here with even odds, though the projection favors the Shockers.  

Derivatives

For Sale:

5-0: Girlz Win and Nauts Win and TTM Win (30 bb)

Against the Even Odds: BDT Win and PHP Win (25 bb)

Freebies: (with spending 5bb or more)

First Win: Trix Win and Pelican Win (15 bb)

And Then There Were None: Bloodz Win and Dijon Win and BDT Win (50 bb)

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