Week 12 Recap

 

 

Whew, where did 2014 go?  Josh Gordon returned, and we just had ourselves Week 12.

Post season field is set with the current top six contending for 2014 championship after BDT and SFF both won convincingly to punch their tickets.  Seems Nauts, at 10-2, have clinched first-round bye behind Tanny and the Buffalo D.  Big Sky can break the regular-season win record if they beat TigerMtn in the finale and get 11 wins.  They are playing good heading into the post season with Gordon looking like a strong WR1 in the making already, though getting 45 pts combined from their kicker and team defense probably won't happen again.  9-3 Girlz have the other bye all but in possession, as they lead the 8-4 teams in both points and wins.  The first-round matchups may differ, but it'll be TTM/Dijon/BDT/SFF in the first-round, then the winners facing Nauts/Girlz in the semi. 

As for the bottom half of the league, some of us will be contending for Moral Victory while the others will focus (?) solely (?) on the consolation prizes.  Polk High leads the moral victory field, with Old Future, Trichs, and Pelican following within 25 and having a realistic chance of landing some extra draft budget for next year (*disclaimer: last week's calculation for Pelican was a bit off--about 18 pts--, this week I double checked the numbers).  

Over/Under

Mark Sanchez 12.93 (16.06 proj) Under; Trix bet over and lose

Jamaal Charles 17.20 (19.07 proj) Under; reference

Josh Gordon 12.80 (10.89 proj) Over; TTM bet under and lose, Pelican bet over and win.

Pelican goes all in on Josh Gordon and triples their wallet.  Nice.

 

Stock Market

In a quiet twilight market, TTM and Trix bet on BDT's romp pays them but self-investment didn't produce return. 

Cats: Nauts, Girlz and BDT won, but Trix lost

Jeopardy: Future and Trix both lost

Babylon: Nauts, Girlz and Ferries won but TTM lost

Upsetters: Shock won, but Future, Bloodz and Trix lost

Recap

TTM: -3

TTM (-5)

Future (-5)

BDT (+5)

Gordon Under (-2)

dividends (x2=+4)

Trix: -5

Trix (-5)

TTM (-5)

BDT (+5)

Sanchez Over (-2)

dividends (+2)

Pelican: +4

Gordon Over (+4)

BDT: +4

dividends (x2=+4)

Future: +2

dividends (+2)

 

Stock Market and Casino will be back with a switch for the final week!

Public Funds Index:
+542+2=+544

Week 12 Casino Gulag

I'll return with one like this

 

 

As we talked before, you and I need some time.

So, in the meanwhile, you play your little Over/Under, okay? 

Here, here's Mark Sanchez (16.92), Jamaal Charles (18.91) and Josh Gordon (9.52).  They'll play with you, okay?

It's the same rules as usual, okay?


General will be back soon, okay honey?

Week 12 Stock Market & Previewz

Lets hope Charles isn't injured soon

 

 

I'll make everything short.  Rankingz came out early and I'm trying to finish work early and beat the G-W Bridge traffic here.  Necessarily adjustments will be made in due time.

Clinched playoffs: AEthernauts, Phat Girlz, TakingTigerMountain, Dijonnaise All-Stars have clinched a spot in the post-season and are vying for the first-round Week 14 bye.

Need one more win or Spinnerz loss to clinch: BuildingDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng and SanFranciscoFerries virtually have the magic number down to one and could clinch playoffs spot this week. 

Outside looking in, gates starting to close: HomeSpunNeckBloodz lacking points and the Old Future with seven losses are on the verge of elimination.

Moral Victory: Polk High Panthers, Trichotillomaniacs and ThePelicanBrief are within 12 pts in the shit-outa-chocolate Moral Victory race. 

Grace period over, Autopilot Indicator On: Took them this long, but Shock_Pix are in a familiar territory of out and no pay. 

Last of the bye: Carolina and Pittsburgh will be the last teams to have their mid-season vacation. 

The payout schedule for each 5 bankerbitez bet is as following.

                                      Blue Chip     Market Performer     Junk
Blue Chip (#1-4*)                  5                      3                          2
Market Performer (#5-8*)     10                     5                          3
Junk (#9-12*)                        15                     10                        5

*Based on weekly Power Rankingz.  In case of a tied rank, commissioner's ruling will be published here.

Dez and DeSean are the Bad Minded Peoples of the Far East

The Guide

(1) AEthernauts 9-2 (3 bb) vs (7) The Old Future 4-7 (10 bb)

Cam on bye, Gordon's 2014 debut for the Nauts.  Late-season pick-up shine eye galz for Future.  Will Nauts escape another upset alert?

(2) PhatGirlz 8-3 (5 bb) vs (3) Dijonnaise All-Stars 8-3 (5 bb)

A significant game for the first-round bye outlook, Dijon face the Girlz in the Ong Bowl as Monique's entourage are struggling to find points as AP's saga and wait continue.

(4) TakingTigerMountain 8-3 (2 bb) vs (12) Shock_Pix 3-8 (15 bb)

A tough auto-pilot test for the Shockers against the hottest team of the league Mountain.  Antonio on bye and backfield woes except for Ingram may make it respectable, until MNF's Crescent City Connection.

(5) BuilingDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng 7-4 (5 bb) vs (8) HomeSpunNeckBloodz 5-6 (5 bb)

Ever-new-look Chico Boyz will debut Shoelace in an elimination match for Derrick Carr and the Spintron. 

(6) SanFranciscoFerries 6-5 (3 bb) vs (9) Trichotillomaniacs 3-8 (10 bb)

The Boatmen try to safe-land the Ferries onto playoff dock in a match Dez and the Hairpullers are battling for pride and moral victory. 

(10) ThePelicanBrief 3-8 (5 bb) vs (11) Polk High Panthers 2-9 (5 bb)

Ever-so-important moral victory match as the Bundys showcase their starz in a too-late fashion. Big Ben on bye is the last chance to make dropping a kicker count.  

 

Derivatives

For Sale:

Catz: Nauts, Girlz, BDT and Trix win  (40 bb)

Celebrity Jeopardy: Future and Trix win (40 bb)

Freebies:

Babylon: Nauts, TTM, BDT, and Ferries win (20 bb)

Upsetters: Future, Shock, Bloodz, and Trix win (100 bb) <-------glutton's irrelevant money

Power Rankings Week 12

The g0dz had two last chances to tighten the playoff race, but let them go by in week 11. TigerMountain and Phat Girlz both sported beatable scores but playoff outsiders Neckbloodz and Trichs couldn't take advantage. As a result the playoff six are all but decided, with four officially rendered.  Now a still-tight race for playoff byes will command attention at one end while Moral Victory points standings.  Sign of the times - the Babylon freebie paid off this week. That about says it all. Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night...

1. (1) Aethernauts - (9-2) - Zeus seemed to toy with the idea of stripping the Aetherials of their thunderbolt and bye-lead in week 11, before blessing Gray with four touchdowns and over 40 touches in a SNF blowout. With Murray on bye it seemed like the Nauts might drift landward and be vulnerable to a dangerous Polk spoiler.  Sanders entering the concussion protocol, might mean that the Nauts are forced to thrust Gordon into the spotlight untested.  Flash aaaa-aah, he'll save everyone of us...

2.  (2)  Phat Girlz - (8-3) -  The Girlz went in for a terrific lowball in week 11 and only narrowly came away with a victory thanks to some big name injuries for the Trichs. Luck nearly missed 20 pts, but managed to scratch them up in garbage time loss, Forte and Cobb were merely very good this week and not world beating, and Ben Tate was a negative impact from the flex. With the RBBC seemingly swinging away from him Tate was dropped by the Browns and AP suspended by the NFL the Girlz could be in for a moderate downgrade losing two prospective ground options in the same day. Luckily Sankey appears to be at least a serviceable RB2 as long as Mettenburger can keep the Tennessee offense moving somewhat.  

3. (4)  Dijonaise All Stars (8-3)   -  Col. Mustard and the Condiments have been all too spicy lately.  With A-Rodg fast closing in on QB1 by points, and a season-long hold on Foster handcuff Blue finally paying off they won again big time in week 11. The addition of Mike Evans as an smash breakout hero at WR lends some heft to a sometimes thin air attack. The Mustard Men might be a touch behind on a points tie-breaker for bye, but big scores in the last two weeks have them catching up quick. 

4. (3) TakingTigerMountain  (8-3) - The Mountain came into MNF needing Antonio Brown the points #1 WR to equal his 14 point projection to eek out a win - he got 15.  It's been that kind of season for Brown and TTM. Antonio has been a target beast and reliably proficient in the endzone. TTM on the other hand bid big and lost early on AP as an every down back, and have seen Brees' numbers take a big slide toward mediocrity and Jimmer battle injuries. Currently sporting a 4-0, 0-3, 4-0 record breakdown, it's worth wondering what direction the ski lift will be headed in week 14. Playoff bound, the Tigers get the hibernating Shocks next week before a playoff preview with the Nauts, where TTM could potentially play their way into a bye. The Tigers are still #2 by points, but only 3 slim points ahead of the Nauts - statistical dead heat. 

5 (5) BuildingDwellingThinking  (7-4) - BDT active again in the trade department, still got crushed on Cowboy's bye week. De-investing in Dez may prove a smart move if Romo can't go, and certainly Denard Robinson's acquisition looks fortuitous now that Montee Ball's injury has reoccurred. That said, it's some strange juju for Cowboyatti to go dally with Redskins QBs. With Crowell, Bryce Brown and Robinson the Deep Thinkers can play "guess the flex" week to week. The loss here has to put them on yellow alert - they'll loose seeding to the Ferries on points if they fall into a tie and an upset by the Bloodz next week could cast them into purgatory. 

6. (6)  SanFranciscoFerries (6-5)-  The Ferrries docked their boat at the postseason warf, simply awaitng permission to deboard. A resounding 157 point game sunk rival BDT and moved them above .500. Massive days for the Bell and Lacy ground express powered the win, supported by Wilson's first time over 20 pts in five weeks and a pair of double digits from LSU wideouts Beckham and Landry. What's more the big game put them 5th by points, ahead of other contenders (BDT, OF, Trichs and Homespun).  An insurgent for the 6 spot (like the Spinners or Future) would need the Ferries to drop both remaining games and surrender their points advantage.  With two tough opponents remaining the Frisco Kids can't rest, but one win should put them in officially, and two might push them up to the five slot. 

7.  (9) Old Future (4-7)  - The Futurists made a case to stay in the playoff race by smashing the shock, putting up 120+ even with a substandard Peyton game.  The astute pick-up of Jordan Matthews worked for a second straight week, as did a wire agent paydown CJ Anderson. T-Rich has injury-lucked into a bell cow job in Indy.  They're about 70 points south of the Ferries, but with Manning at the helm a crooked number or two wouldn't be surprising. 

8. (7)  Homespun Neckbloodz (5-6) -  The Bloodz lost a heartbreaker to TTM in the waning moments of the 3rd quarter of MNF. The Spinners got what they needed, a low-scoring game where the Tiger's blue chips largely avoided the endzone. Unfortunately, the Bloodz were similarly allergic with the notable exception of Brandon Marshall's double dip.  Still points poor, the Bloodz need two wins and some help to keep playoff dreams alive. They could pass BDT by points at 7-6 by making up a 107 point deficit. Or they could pass the Ferries by win percentage if the Boatmen lose out. Neither is particularly likely, bu the Cyclotron gets a chance to help its own cause playing BDT in week 12. Even if they're out, winning one of two could guarantee a(n underrated) Consolation Tourney bye.

9. (7)  Trichs  (3-8) - Finally the Trichs' playoff ambitions were put out of their misery by a second loss to rival Phat Girlz in week 11.   Tantalizingly within reach, the Girlz drifted well into upset range, but the Pullers couldn't take advantage. Bradshaw's snapped ankle was the last straw so to speak, but Julius Thomas injury was the first.  Another massive J.J. Watt game (3rd double digit) buoyed the Trichs' hopes. But with mediocre QB play and receivers on teams struggling to find the endzone there just wasn't an upset left to pull.  The Trichs are still very much in play for moral victory, but probably need triple digits in both remaining contests to fend off late challenges from Polk and Pelican. 

10. (11)  Pelican Brief (3-8) - The Pelicans limped to the finish of a bruising week 11 contest, outclassed by a powerful Dijonaise squad. They loose Allen and Jennings to injuries and watched Brady suffer his first sub. 20 point game in five weeks. Lynch and Mason continue to power through, but couldn't find any paydirt to leverage the Legal Eagles here. A surprising 30 from Green Bay's D/St on the bench would have been a weird and wacky play, but it does emphasize the degree to which the Seattle D/ST has been a disappointment as a keeper. 

11. (12)  Polk High Panthers (2-9) -  Polk really had a good shot at a 12/1 upset in week 11.  A Bellicheck inspired fantasy party (Faulk Flashback?) for Jonas Gray undercut the win, but does nothing to dim the nice point total for the Panthers. Charles continues to bravely soldier on in the middle of the field, racking up 29 on two scores. They're still in play for the Moral Victory after a Trichs lowball, so there's plenty to play for. 

12. (10) Shock_Pix  (3-8) - After a brief heady stint in contention the Shock returned to its old ways, leaving the lineup spots fallow. Would it have made a difference? Probably not this week, although Hill was spectacular on the bench.  But the fire went out of the Pixies in week 9, so roster maintenance and maximization are out the window. 

Week 11 Recap

 

Ok that was painful.  Butt-fumble week.  Started with that constipation of an early game STL-DEN and dragged on.  I heard MNF was exciting, sorry to have missed that.  I was in my room doing push-ups and sit-ups.  Ah, I see that Yahoo tells us four teams (Nauts, Girlz, TTM and Dijon) have clinched playoffs spot.  Congrats, ladies and gents!  Two more teams, BDT at 7-4 and Ferries at 6-5 are both at magic number 1 and most likely will round-out the post-season field.  Bloodz at 5-6 and lacking points have to win out and have lots of help (bribery accepted this week @ commish office).  Old Future is also uneliminated, though remains being a very long-shot. 

Just to let you know, this week I'll be fairly absent from football until Sunday.  It's my bye week.  I'll fulfill minimum managerial and commissioner duties but not much.  It's timely since there's a lot of explanation to do for General. 

Pick 4

Trichs (Teddy, Forte, D-Jax, Denver): 32.97

TTM (Brees, Ingram, DT, Buffalo): 44.75

'Cos (Peyton, Goose Egg, DT, Denver): 29.01

TTM captures pot plus matching funds (+12); all tickets were on Montee Ball.

Over/Under

Luck: 20.12 (24.67)  Under

Brady: 14.58 (21.43) Under
Ben: 10.73 (19.28) Under

Trichs (under-under-over) win some money (+4+4-2=+6 bb), hooray.

Stock Market

Shock Top: Shock and Pelican lost

Catz: Nauts and TTM won but BDT and Shock lost

Babylon: Nauts, TTM, Girlz and Dijon all won (20 bb)

Upsetters:  Polk, Bloodz, Trix and Pelican all lost

TTM and Trix, getting intimate here, win free money, double hooray!

Recap

TTM: +32

TTM (+3)

Trix (-5)

Babylon (+20)
Pick 4 (+12)

dividends (+2)

Trix: +25

Trix (-5)

Babylon (+20)

Pick 4 (free)

Over/Under (+6)

dividends (x2=+4)

I wonder which Sanchez will return this week

Public Funds Index:
+485+57=+542

CRAFT BEER REPORT #3: SAM ADAMS REBEL IPA

Welcome to the 3rd PSAS Craft Beer Report.  Up this week is Rebel IPA from Sam Adams.  Bros, I'll be totally honest...this beer is the fucking shit.  Take a look at that fucking bad ass font.  THIS BEER MEANS FUCKING BUSINESS.

Straight up I downloaded that font and installed it on my computer so I could use it in Word 2014 (#humblebrag).  Check it out, bros:

My Word .docx are going to be mad tight from here on out.

Now to the beer:

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:  The packaging blows my fucking mind.  I haven't been so blown away since I went on that 311 music cruise a couple years ago and met my first wife (RIP).  FUCCCKKKKKKK THAT FONT IS SO FUCKING COOOLLLLLL.  

TASTE:  AHHHHH.  MY MOUTH IS BURNING.  THIS BEER IS SO FUCKING BITTER.  WHY DOES IT TASTE SO BITTER.  AHHHH.  I gotta chase this with some Shock Top and fast.....OKAY everything is better now.  Shock Top sure is great but their fonts fucking suck.  Too bad a craft brewery like Shock Top can't afford a better font...I should start a Kickstarter.   

FINAL GRADE: A+ for Font.  F for taste.  A+++ for attitude.  I think I'll just walk around parties with an empty bottle so I look cool.   

Week 11 Casino Gulag

We got yet another two-game week, I mean why not?  Some of us got to have some motivating force. 

Fan Pick 4
We'll bring back the popular Pick 4 game of two weeks back for this week's Game #1.  We'll switch up positions a bit, and add a team defense/special teams instead of a tight end.  PICK A PLAYER FOR EACH POSITION: QB, RB, WR AND DEF.  Team with most fantasy points collectively in Week 11 wins.  Same rules, 3 bankerbytez to enter, winner takes pot plus matching fund.  Bonus: if your team beats Da Team: Peyton, Montee, Demaryius, and Denver; then your ticket will be paid for by the house.  Deadline is TNF. 

Over/Under

Game #2 of this week is another round of QB Over/Under.  Pick if Andrew Luck (24.53~), Tom Brady (21.50~) or Ben Roethlisberger (19.34~) will go over or under their projected fantasy points.  Same as last week.  Pick correctly and win 4 bankerbytez, wrong and lose 2 bb.  Deadline to post is their game times (SNF and MNF respectively). 

Comment below for orders.