Battle of New Orleans - Part II

In 1814 Twenty-Thirteen we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson Breesus down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British Martin Heidegger down in  New Orleans.

....
(and the only two verses I could remember at Kountry Karaoke)



We fired our cannon 'til the barrel melted down.
So we grabbed an alligator and we fought another round.
We filled his head with cannon balls, and powdered his behind
And when we touched the powder off, the gator lost his mind.

[Chorus]

Yeah, they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles
And they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.**

Stock Market Week 4

Here we go, Gents. Stock Market offerings for week 4. There is one new rule this week. THE GAME OF THE WEEK PICK WILL ONLY COST YOU TWO BANKERBITEZ. If you get it right the payout is still the same (in this case you would make 5 Bankerbitez if you pick correctly). Because there will be more bets made on the game of the week pick, they will only pay .5 Bankerbitez (rounded down, obvs) per investment to the owners of the team. The investments were meant to help the bottom feeders, so I'd hate to reward the bluebloods just for having a good matchup.

1-3  - Blue Chip
4-6  - Red Chip
7-9 - Penny Stock
10-14 - Junk Bonds

Here's a chart for the payouts. If a bluechip beats a bluechip, you make 5 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five bankerbitez investment back). If a Blue Chip team beats a Junk Bond team you get 2 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five Bankerbitez investment back).

                    Blue Chip      Red Chip       Penny Stock        Junk Bond

Blue Chip            5                 4                      3                        2

Red Chip            10               5                       4                        3

Penny Stock        15                10                   5                        4

Junk Bond          20                15                   10                        5


So, that being said, this week's Matchupz are as follows, seeds are listed in parentheses, so 1-3 are the Blue Chip franchises, 4-6 are Red Chip, etc...:

Dijonnaise All Stars (4) vs The Goslings (10) THE BOWL OF PSAS EXPANSION
Phat Girlz (11) vs SF Ferries (14)
AEthernauts (7) vs PrimordialLifestylz (13)
Polk High Panthers (2) vs HomeSpunNeckBloodz (3) **** GAME OF THE WEEK *****
Pelican Brief (8) vs Tusken Raiders (5)
Taking Tiger Mountain (1) vs BuildingDwellingThinking (6) MR. GATTI'S BOWL
GrossmanSachs (9) vs Trichotillomaniacs (12)

Make your picks before kickoff Thursday. May the G0dz smile upon your bulging pockets.

Week 4 with the Master

Week 4 is here, signaling the arrival of bye season.  After an abysmal 2-5 (5-9 overall) record in week 2, there were discussions between PSAS PR department and Sun Tzu's deputies.  Neither parties revealed details of these discussions, and social media was buzzing with speculation.  It's clear that Master Sun is eagerer than ever to prove his might.  Time to get serious.  No more pictures of pretty women, folks!

UPDATE (9/26): Blockbuster trades are more common in PSAS than in real football.  One took place on Wednesday between Commish and Colonel.  Arian Foster and James Jones enters the Poupon bottle, while rising star Gio Bernard and Brandon Marshall join the bankerz.

(2)  TakingTigerMountain (3-0) vs (4) BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng (2-1)

This is a matchup highlighted by Brees-Graham vs Romo-Dez.

The Mountain is back at a familial spot atop the rankingz after TTM inked the highest scoring total of this young season in netting a whopping 150.99 points despite Spiller recording a negative point and Jared Allen dropping a goose egg.  The Brees-Graham aerial attack once again delivered, and Antonio Brown finally connected with Big Ben in scoring over thirty points.  It's hard to imagine that Daniel's crew can keep this up, however, with injury questions and vultures looming around Spiller and Matthews.  Bernard Pierce can lose his touches any time with Ray Rice itching to get back on the field. 

BDT escaped a scare Monday night in beating out Monique and the Girlz.  They rode out Chicago defense to the max in week 3, despite Finley starting his bye one week early.  Dez is clearly Romo's boy this season, providing the philosopherz with a solid foundation.  For this week, the boyz desperately need Ray Rice to play against the meshy Buffalo defense not only to take away touches from Bernard Pierce but also to fill the bye-week voids left by DeAngelo and Finley.  Willis McGahee and Scott Chandler just won't cut it.

-TTM by 8

(1) Polk High Panthers (3-0) vs (2) HomeSpunNeckBloodz (3-0) (headliner of the week)

One of these teams will taste defeat for the first time this season in week 4. 

Megatron and AJ continue to carry the Panthers on their shoulders.  Gradually they are getting some help on the ground.  Fred Jackson stuck his tongue out to the owners that dismissed his value again, and BenE-G is putting up numbers despite Gio Bernard's emergence in Cincy.  Matt Ryan and Tony Gonzalez didn't connect in week 3; with HSNB breathing down the neck, the Panthers need the Atlanta duo to come through.

The perpetually underrated Bloodz may finally get the recognition it deserves if they can defeat the Panthers.  The task is somewhat daunting this week for the spinnerz.  Many of their starters have injury concerns or are losing touches to returning starters.  It looks like the owner is toying with the idea of benching Cutler in favor of Andy Dalton.  Some favorable titrations are also required here to maintain undefeated status beyond this weekend. 

-PHP by 2.5

(7) Dijonnaise All-Stars (2-1) vs (11) The Goslings (1-2)

Expansion Bowl features two teams that had their streaks ended in week 3.  Colonel Mustard's seedlings finally were punchless in their first loss.  Fitz-Marsh-Cruz trio were underwhelming, as was A-Rodg.  Colonel also left some significant points on the bench.  At least, Gio Bernard is looking like a solid starter week in and week out.  Consistency is the issue moving forward onto the bye season, and the Colonel faces a difficult task of finding A-Rodg replacement for week 4.  Their backup QB as of now is Weeden.  Ouch.

The Goslings celebrated their long-awaited first win in PSAS in week 3.  They clearly have an upward momentum now with Bilal Powell looking to be the feature back for the Jets.  Shady McCoy continues to shine light in Philly.  Once Luck establishes an elite fantasy status, the Goslings may very well turn out to be the gem of this expansion.     

-Goslings by 4.5
UPDATE (9/26): Colonel Mustard took on an overhaul of the roster, and they sent their budding star Gio Bernard and Cutler's boy packing to the commissioner's office for Arian Foster and James Jones.  On paper, the value seem to be there, and anytime you acquire a top 5 running back it should be good.  However, Gio has a greater long-term value in this inaugural dynasty season than Foster, who's touches are more threatened than ever.  James Jones is facing his bye, so he's not available to show us which of his performances (dud, stud or middle of the line) is his true self this week.  The good news is that at least he'll be done with the bye.  Still too many questions.  If I were to grade this trade, the Mustards get a C-minus. 

(8) Tusken Raiders (2-1) vs (6) ThePelicanBrief (1-2)

The Sand People dismantled Lyfestylez in week 3 despite collecting total of 0.5 points from their kicker and team defense combined.  Jamaal Charles is still running and catching, and Cameron Jordan is emerging as the offensive weapon of the Browns.  Thief receivers can put up big numbers, and RGIII is ripe for picking.  Things are starting to bubble in the Planet of Two Suns.

The Brief struggled to score points with Hakeem Nicks held to a goose egg in his return to hometown Charlotte.  At least he and Eli are poised for a bounce back.  There are still injury concerns brewing here.  Chris Ivory and Vernon Davis are both favoring their hamstrings.  Their backups are consistently inconsistent.  Oh, and Randy Cobb is on a bye. 

-TR by 4.5

(10) AEthernauts (1-2) vs (13) Pr1m0rdi4lLyfestylez (0-3)

These two teams haven't gotten off to ideal starts to the season before heading into the bye season.  A win here is crucial not just for the psyche but to keep the playoff hopes alive.

The space travelers got a jump start thanks to Eric Berry's pick-6 on Thursday night and never looked back in their decisive win over the Trix in week 3.  Their 128 points outing was the second highest scoring of the week, despite having four players score 1 point or less (including two goose eggs).  DeMarco had a monstrous game against the Rams (26.9 points).  Cam Newton also had his best game of the year.  Now he and Steve Smith are on a bye.  Alex Smith is certainly not as dynamic as Cam, but he has proven that he can win games in SF or KC.  Can he do the same for the Nauts? 

As for the Lyfestylez, only if they had a tight end!  Well, things in PSAS are never that simple, but it's at least a starting point.  They have a bunch of handcuff running backs on their roster, and it may be time to sift through the list in search of a tight end help.  With bye weeks already here, avoidance is certainly the wrong tactic. 

-AE by 8

(5) GrossmanSachs (1-2) vs (12) Trichotillomaniacs (1-2)

Both teams are looking to end their two game losing streaks.  These two teams are perpetually predicted to be one of the highest scoring teams yet has been consistently underperforming during their losing streaks.  

This looks to be the same QB match up as the one in the making in Mile High City, with Mike Vick poised to start his first game for the Trichs following two consecutive single-digit games by star QB Colin Kaepernick.  Yes, Kap is being benched, and rightfully so.  Vick had his worst game of the season so far in week 3, yet fantasy wise his legs more than compensated for the pick-6 he threw in his 15-plus pts performance.  Things didn't look good in SF, as Vernon Davis was held out of the game and Kap clearly lacked receiving targets other than Boldin, resulting in fantasy points more fitting for elite LB than average QB.   The comfort in the Far East is that often RBs are a good hedge for QBs in fantasy football.  Frank Gore finally showcased his elite running skills in the first quarter before the Niner's amusingly failed to hand the ball to him in the second half.  The Niner's have admitted they made a mistake and reiterated their intention to utilize Frank the Tank to max in the coming weeks.  Adding that to both MJD and DMC scoring TDs to compensate for their respective lack of rushing yards, and finally the General can rest Stevan Ridley on the bench.

The commissioner's side was on the wrong end of the Toyota Tundra Blowout of the week in week 3.  TTM scoring over 150 pts aside, the Bankerz was once again underwhelming, failing to crack 100 points in the collapse.  The commissioner must be sweating a bit, as it's hard to pin point what's really going wrong here.  Manning and AP are stellar as ever.  Their receivers are at least being targeted and scoring well above goose eggs.  Sea Bass and Pittsburg defense have much room to improve, considering their reputation, but they are essentially role players  Arian Foster is the big question mark here.  He looks like he's finally healthy, yet increasingly Ben Tate is being thrown into the Houston lineup more by Gary Kubiak. 

-GS by 2.5

UPDATE (9/26): All good things must come to an end, and it came sooner than expected.  AP/AF running back tandem was possibly the best that PSAS had ever seen.  Apparently the commish was tired of worrying about the Foster issue.  The office sent him packing to the Dijon Land along with James Jones on the bye for another RB/WR pair.  In comes Gio Bernard, who's future looks to be bright as the starz.  Still, he's a rookie in a similar timeshare with BenE-G in Cincy, so it's a downgrade for the moment.  The dynasty's long-term upside, however, is immense, plus they get a bonus roster-fill for the bye week.  Good move, commish, B-plus.

(9) Phat Girlz (1-2) vs (14) SanFranciscoFerries (0-3)

Another match between two underperformers to wrap up this week.  Too early to play for pride, but both teams need a win here to avoid doing so in the near future.

Monique's girlz came within points of an upset in week 3, and seem to have the pieces to fight through this bye season.  They still need D-Bowe to produce points as long as breakout receiver Cecil Shorts continues to play for Jacksonville.

SFF has been hit by injuries in the last couple of weeks.  Things may finally be looking brighter in the infirmary.  Bush seems set to play this Sunday, and Lacy is coming back after this week's bye.  Words out of New England is that Gronk is also close to making a return this week, although we won't find out until a couple hours before game time on Sunday.  Ferries released underachieving TE Celek, so it looks like they are rolling the dice here.

-SFF by 2.5

Sun Tzu is a former headcoach of the Trichotillomaniacs.  This season, he has been providing weekly PSAS matchup analysis for ESPN Far East

Week 4 Power Rankings

Week 3 kept three undefeated teams rolling, picked up the highest score of the year to date.  The average score dipped again to 103.8.  Only two teams surpassed 120 and only six hit triple digits.  Next week begins the bye week crunch.


1. (6)  Polk High Panthers  (3-0) - Al Bundy's day of glory is stretching toward a month. They were beatable at just 102, but got enough on a lowball from Pelicans.  They'll win more often than not when Calvin and AJ score.  F-Jax's potential injury promotion rockets them to the top, but Millie's college fund isn't safe just yet.

T 2. (7) TakingTigerMountain (3-0) -Burning very brightly indeed the Tigers threw Brees-Graham connect for the third straight week and put a 150 on the Commish.  Antonio Brown picked up the high score of the week in trash time comeback mode effectively putting the game to bed.  CJ's injury, Bradshaw's questionable role and Matthews' ineffectiveness, mean the Mountain Men will need the Saints to march in on a weekly basis. 

T 2. (5) Homespun Neckbloodz  (3-0)  -The Spinners stumbled a bit but picked up their third straight victory and triple digit in a win over Colonel Mustard's rookies.  Johnson and Jackson had a lost week in the air, but Forte continues to dominate on the ground and Joique Bell made the most of an easy match up.  Until S-Jax is back at 100% they'll be a low-ceiling team, but three to start ain't bad.

4. (5) BuildingDwellingThinking (2-1) -BDT survived a MNF comeback and picked up a triple digit despite losing Finley to injury.  Picking up a win minus Rice is huge and Chicago's D has turned out to be a legitimate weapon. 

5.  (T.2) Grossman Sachs (1-2) - The Commish got walloped by the big stick of the week, which hides a few lowballs in the back pages of a breakdown.  Arian picked up only 54 yards, and Jennings and Edleman look pedestrian.  Does Josh Gordon get a shot if he gets caught up in the Browns' firesale?

6. (T2) Pelican Brief - (1-2) The Grisham-ites fell below 100 and took their second straight loss. Ivory, Nicks and Fleener combined for 1.8 points. The Legal Thrillers need more production out of those bottom three spots.

7. (1)  Dijonaise All Stars (2-1) - The Poupon Greys finally came down market with a double digit, as their 3 WR1 action came up empty in the TD hunt.  A-Rodg was picked twice, but he'll have better days. 

8. (10) TuskenRaiders (2-1) -The Sand People picked up their second straight W in a hard fought battle with the Primordial ones.  Cameron was a wire beast at TE with a green Hoyer under the gun.  Jamaal took it up another notch to push the Tusken FC to victory here.  As the Skins look more and more broken every week RGIII is a greater question mark.

9. (9) Phat Girlz (1-2) - The Girls lost a squeaker to BDT on Monday night.  Their carefully mined wire gold in Starks came up lame, but has a week to get healthy. Bowe continues to be feast or famine in a ground driven KC offense.

10. (11) Aethernauts (1-2) - The Nauts aced the Trichs with the 2nd highest score of the week.  Floated by big days by Newton and Murray, the Explorers also got a 14 from IDP Berry and a 12 picking against the blogsperts in Cleveland's D/ST. 

11. (12)  Goslings (1-2) The Goslings notched a victory behind L-Mac and Bilial ground power.  Throwing any defense against Peyton's Broncos seems foolhardy, but picking up the Raiders is borderline comic. If Bell can move Pittsburgh downfield, it should do something to fill out the roster sheet here.

12. (8) Trichs (1-2) The Far East brigade took a tough loss with lots of action on the bench as a second straight team shut down their Keeper-nick/Anquan/9ers triple titration.  With those three and Gore they'll lie and die by the 49ers. 

13. (13)  PrimordialLifestyles (0-3)  - A near win for the Stylez was frustrated by the self-handicapping at TE and an injury to Richardson at flex. However, with Martin and T-Rich in the backfield and a host of nice IDP, they remain a team that might take one on autopilot.

14.  (14) SanFranciscoFerries  (0-3)-This year's heartbreak kids saw low-ceiling QB Wilson light up the Jags on the bench, while Rivers struggled in the driver's seat.  There's a hospital of pro-bowl talent on the shelf, if they can ever get healthy.

Chicks Dig the Long Ball

The stock market odds/payouts will be posted this evening, but first I wanted to introduce everyone to the newest Casino Gulag Game! Kickers are an under-appreciated Fantasy asset, and it's their time in the moneymaking spotlight. So, this week, the game is as follows: Pick a kicker, whichever kicker chosen has the MOST TOTAL YARDS OF FIELD GOALS MADE is the winner. It's called LEG OF LEGENDS, and your girlfriend is gonna love it.

Jeff Reed is the self-proclaimed Third Leg of Legends Champion.

Each kicker can only be picked by ONE (1) team. Once again, we are going by first come/first serve rules on the selection of kickers. In order to try to rectify the nature of fastest fingerdom that nearly brought down the Hermann Goering Casino Gulag last week, here's what we'll do. Picks are allowed to be made any time after 9pm Beastern. Any picks made before that time will be void, and the transgressing owner will get last pick (but is still forced to play because not playing because you don't get to pick who you want when you broke the rulez is such bullshit that it will not be tolerated.)

So, do twenty five seconds of research, measure some thigh circumferences, see who sucks ballz in the redzone, and make a pick.

As with last week, in order to promote participation, three Bankerbite buy-in, winner takes the pot plus ten bankerbitez. Ties split the pot, but both get the bonus ten bankerbitez.

Stock Market and CGG Week 3 Recap

Things did not go well this week for the commish

Alright, everybody, GrossmanSachs management is at work making new mind-control programming for Middle America at the moment, so we'll keep this quick. Everyone made money on Behind Enemy Lines except the Commissioner, who the G0dz are clearly envious of. The pot was supposed to be split but because six people's entry fee was going to be split five ways, you just get your 10 bonus Bankerbitez. Also, it's the first week of the stock market, and there were only a few hits, but some decent investments being made in the penny stocks. #BottomsUp.

GrossmanSachs --
PrimordialLifestylz over Tusken Raiderz (NOPE, -5) and Phat Girlz over BDT (NOPE, -5)
Buffalo D in Behind Enemy Lines (NOPE, -3)

Total: -13 Bankerbitez (SWEEEEEEET)

Trichs --

Pelicanz over Polk High (NOPE, -5) and Tusken Raiderz over PrimordialLifestylz (Yep, +4)

Seattle D (Yeah, tie, everyone who ties gets +10)

Total: +9 Bankerbitez

TTM -- 

Pelicans over Polk High (NOPE, -5) and Phat Girlz over BDT (NOPE, -5)

Vikings D (Yeah, tie, everyone who ties gets +10)

Total: 0 Bankerbitez

HomeSpunNeckBloodz --

Primordial Ones over The Sand People (NOPE, -5) and Aethernauts over Trichs (Yeah, +10)

Tampa Bay D (Yeah, tie, everyone who ties gets +10)

Total: +15 Bankerbitez

Aethernauts -- 

Pelicans over Panthers (NOPE, -5) Girlz over BDT (NOPE, -5)

Investments +4

Total: -6 Bankerbitez

Pelican Brief -- 

PG over BDT (NOPE, -5) and Nauts over Trichs (Yeah, +10)

Broncos D (Yeah, tie, everyone who ties gets +10)

Investments +6

Total: +21 Bankerbitez

BDT --

Seahawks D (Yeah, tie, everyone who ties gets +10)

Total: +10 Bankerbitez

Phat Girlz --

Investments +8

Total: +8 Bankerbitez

PrimordialLifestylz --

Investments +4

Total: +4 Bankerbitez

Tusken Raiderz --

Investments +2

Total: +2 Bankerbitez

EDIT - Why is some of the text on white background? MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, SCUM!

The PSAS Stock Market Returns Along with a Trip Behind Enemy Lines for the CGG

 
For the first time in PSAS history, this week will feature both Stock Market offeringz and Casino Gulag Games. The stock market was the brainchild of PrimordialLifestylez and was birthed via TakingTigerMountain's synthetic love canal. Here's how it works:

The teams in the league are broken down into four categories, from most valuable to least. These values are based solely on the standings (Win/Loss with Total Points as Tiebreakers). You invest in a team one week at a time, and if they win their game you win money. The bigger the "upset" according to the standings, the more money that pays out.  An investment in a costs five (5) Bankerbitez. The team invested in will receive 2 Bankerbitez per choice. 

1-3  - Blue Chip
4-6  - Red Chip
7-9 - Penny Stock
10-14 - Junk Bonds

Here's a chart for the payouts. If a bluechip beats a bluechip, you make 5 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five bankerbitez investment back). If a Blue Chip team beats a Junk Bond team you get 2 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five Bankerbitez investment back).

                    Blue Chip      Red Chip       Penny Stock        Junk Bond

Blue Chip            5                 4                      3                        2

Red Chip            10               5                       4                        3

Penny Stock        15                10                   5                        4

Junk Bond          20                15                   10                        5


So, that being said, this week's Matchupz are as follows, seeds are listed in parentheses, so 1-3 are the Blue Chip franchises, 4-6 are Red Chip, etc...:


GrossmanSachs (6) vs TakingTigerMountain (4)
PelicanBrief (5) vs Polk High Panthers (3)
AEthernauts (11) vs Trichotillomaniacs (9)
Phat Girlz (10) vs BDT (7)
TuskenRaiderz (8) vs PrimordialLifestylz (13)
SanFranciscoFerries (14) vs The Goslings (12)
HomeSpunNeckBloodz (2) vs Dijonnaise All-Stars (1)

Submit as many picks as you would like to make (at 5 Bankerbitez apiece) in the comments section.

The Casino Gulag Gamez are no longer free to play, this game will cost 3 Bankerbitez to play, and it's a new offering, but it's a simple one. It's called Behind Enemy Lines. Pick a Team Defense that you think will have the most total SACKS this week. Whoever picks the team with the most from amongst the group wins the pot plus 10 extra Bankerbitez to sweeten and encourage participation. The odds are, in fact, ever in your favor. Ties split the pot, but both get the 10 Bankerbitez bonus.

Sun Tzu's Previews: Week 3

Sun Tzu went 3-4 with his predictions in week 2 and is determined to prove his foresight in a bounce-back for week 3.  The match ups are pretty divided with teams knocking off each other at top and bottom of the rankingz.  Several teams will emerge from this week's battles as season's favorites, while some will struggle to keep from sinking in the mud.  Injuries are also starting to mount, making waiver-wire and free agents to be more crucial, especially with the thinning of the talent pool due to the Pre-Socratic expansion.  Winning is: swift as the wind, silent as a forest, fierce as fire, and immovable as mountain, reminds Sun Tzu. 

*UPDATED (9/18) to reflect the trade between the Colts and the Browns involving Trent Richardson

(1) Dijonnaise All-Stars (2-0) vs (4) HomeSpunNeckBloodz (2-0)

*Headliner of the week*

Who knew Colonel Mustard was such a motivator.  I always thought Professor Plum with his psychiatric mastery to be the manipulative leader, says Sun Tzu.  Regardless, this expansion team keeps producing fantasy points.  The rankingz hopped on the bandwagon this week and ranked them at the top based on their offensive production.  Now the question is, who can keep up the b34sting longer, the colonel's troops or Eddie Royal?  A-Rodg throwing to the trio of Fitz, Marshall and Cruz can put up points in bunches week in and week out.  Gio Bernard showcased his upside in week 2.  What's scary is that the Mustards still have upside at the RB2 and IDP positions.  This week, a former champion in HSNB look to stand in the way.  The spinnerz and the Bears keep winning and there's no reason to make changes in what's working, but they do need a bit of tweaking with SJax (that's Steven Jackson right?  Am I the only one losing track of all the Jax's? asks Sun Tzu) out for week 3.  There's a counter-titration going on between Cutler and Marshall, which limits the upside in Chicago.  If Mendenhall can maintain his week 2 production and Cutler doesn't throw the ball to the wrong team or wrong direction, the spinnerz have a chance for, yes, an upset.

-DAS by 2.5

(T2) ThePelicanBrief (1-1) vs (6) Polk High Panthers (2-0)

The Grishamites experienced first-hand that the chemistry between Brady and Welker is no longer the same in their week 2 loss (probably ever since Gisele cursed Welker out during Super Bowl).  The Brief were still one Seattle-defense-shut-down away from a win over the now top-ranked Mustards.  CJ?K is back on track for at least a 1000-yard season, and Ingram is getting the goal line touches.  An expected Kap to Vernon bounce back, now that SF and Seattle are not cannibalising, should make this high-scoring page-turners to keep it up.  The Panthers can expect either Megatron or AJ (or both) to have monster games on any given week; unfortunately for them, the same can't be said about Mario Williams or their backs that are in RBBC situations. 

-PB by 7.5

(T2) GrossmanSachs (1-1) vs (7) TakingTigerMountain (2-0)

The Bankerz didn't fall much in the rankingz despite losing to the then thirteenth-ranked PhatGirlz.  What's disturbing here is that no one other than TE Witten underperformed significantly yet as a team they failed to keep it up.  The 2013 season so far has seen limited upsides to RB-heavy lineups.  The seemingly bullish WR draft market is proving to be right in its prediction and has rewarded teams that invested heavily on top-tier receivers.  The bankerz didn't follow this trend and is struggling to stay afloat.  They did keep some aerial production on the bench, but the guessing game may not be enough to compensate for the lack of upside.  The gradual and steady emergence of Ben Tate in Houston can eventually spell trouble for Arian and the bankerz.  For Daniel's squad, starz aligned correctly and seem to continue to do so as long as TE Graham stays Brees' favorite target even or especially on his off-days.  RB committee Mathews, Spiller and Bradshaw look formidable on paper, but they are all vulnerable to vulturing, fumbling and, knock on wood, injuries.  TTM also lack elite receivers that can put up big numbers, reflected on their 104.6 point average.

-GS by 4.5
*UPDATE (9/18): the shock wave of Trent Richardson trade on Wednesday was also felt through Pre-Socratic landscape, no more so than in the Mountain.   Bradshaw is now relegated to being a piece of RBBC once again.  Overall, this is a slight blow, as Bradshaw started the season in the same position while Vick Ballard was healthy (for just one week). 

(5) BldgDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng (1-1) vs (9) PhatGirlz (1-1)

All-around good games by their receivers and defenders lifted BDT into victory in week 2, but it's hard to predict the same sort of production in week 3.  The ground game is once again suspect in Chico, as Ray Rice is injured at the hip (day-to-day) and DeAngelo is losing third-down and goal-line touches to Mike Tolbert.  Everybody expects Romo (and Phillip Rivers) to do something stupid sooner than later.  Monique won the SweepStarks contest on a perfectly laid $12 bid.  Starks will battle Hand-Cuff Tate and Mr. Unreliable Wilson for a slice of the flex pie.  Miller and Sproles are as good a RB tandem as any.  If WR Garcon can maintain the elite production, and there's no reason to suspect otherwise, the Girlz will contend each and every week.

-PG by 3
*UPDATE (9/18): Willie the Wildcat and the Chico Bandits acted swiftly as the wind in picking up RBs Chris Ogbonnaya and Willis McGahee, the presumed beneficiaries of Trent's ouster in Cleveland.  Not sure if this was the time to actually stay immoveable as mountain, as neither of these backs seem capable of overcoming a fundamental deficiency in that they are running for the Browns.

(8) Trichotillomaniacs (1-1) vs (11) AEthernauts (0-2)

This is Kap vs Cam double titration matchup, unless the General decides to go with Vick and his Thursday game against Andy Reid's Chiefs.  After a total destruction in week 2 by the hands of Seattle Seahawks, it's not completely far-fetched.  Greg Olsen figures to return to the Far East lineup as a counter-titration move.  The Trichs have consistently left points on the bench, and the General is once again pulling hairs trying to decide what to do with Vick, Julius Thomas and Eddie Royal.  Fantasy football is so much easier being done in the rearview mirror, says Sun Tzu.  At least the running backs are non-issue this week with MJD injured/facing the hawks.  Gore and Ridley are bubbling to explode.  The space travelers are in similar position in terms of waiting for the burst after their disappointing start to the season.  In fact these two teams are so similar in style of play with heavy emphasis on the ground game even from their QBs.  As mentioned above, this scheme hasn't been the most productive in 2013.  This was also supposed to be Cam's year, yet Coach Rivera and Shula Jr. hasn't been able to unleash him.  With Rivera's seat getting hotter by the week, we expect the Panthers to save the coach's job by utilizing Cam's talent to full.  Still, this is the Trichs' game to lose.

-Trix by 4.5

(10) Tusken Raiders (1-1) vs (13) Pr1m0rdi4lLyfestylez (0-2)

The Sand People boast one of the most explosive receivers with Julio Jones and DJax (this I assume is Deshawn from Cal, says Sun Tzu).  Malcolm Floyd's neck injury looked very serious, but DeAndre Hopkins of Texans can step right in with Andre Johnson also limping.  As long as Charles stay healthy, they can repeat the week 2 production each week.  We'll find out early, as their offensive stars play on Thursday in Tatooine.  B-Dawgz chose to ignore the TE issue in week 2, and Coby Fleener emerged in Indy as a legit Luck target.  This may be the time to address the tight ends.  The Dawgz have other pieces in place if they can keep their prudence. 

-TR by 5

*UPDATE (9/18):  If anything, Trent Richardson's move to Indy will benefit him, as the power-back will have more opportunities with the ball around the goal-line.  If his PSAS fantasy owner notices this is a different matter.

(12) the Goslings (0-2) vs (14) SanFranciscoFerries (0-2)

The good news is, one of these teams will get a win.  The question is, who?  Sun Tzu likes the Goslings and their upside with Shady McCoy and Jordy Nelson (where were you last year, asks Sun Tzu).  Andrew Luck has yet to break-out as a fantasy star but he has to eventually, and Jared Cook is hopeful for a bounce back in week 3.  The twinkles' ground game suffered a major blow with both Bush and Lacy injured in week 2.  At least they have fillers in Knowshown "I've-Always-Been-Here" Moreno and Robert Turbin.  With Gronk still one week away from a comeback, the Ferries can't afford to have Brent Celek keep looking in from outside of the Chip Kelley Ting. 

-Goslings by 7.5

Sun Tzu is the most influential military strategist of the east and a former head coach of the Trichotillomaniacs.  He's currently an analyst for ESPN Far East and a regular contributor to PSAS.