Pro-Pequeno Militias Suspected in Minnesota Dome Collapse

A roof tear in the Mall of America Field at the Hupert H. Humprey Metrodome that was originally blamed on heavy snow is now being investigated as a possible instance of domestic terrorism by militias loyal to former commisioner Pequeno, the office of the commissioner reports. As previously warned in a series of twitter mafia posts, threatened violence against the league by middle American extremists has manifested itself. A flag depicting the symbol of states rights resistance to centralized authority was reportedly found on the roof by workers attempting to clear the snow. The Metrodome has long been a symbol of the progressive state of Minnesota politics, and at the same time a lighting rod for conspiracy theories about it's potential relation to authoritarian ideology. The former and current commissioner have been at odds for weeks over a series of disagreements, constituting a mounting constitutional crisis. The current commisioner has thus far resisted calls from within his own party to use emmergency powers granted in the Sedition Acts of 1917 to muzzle Pequeno supporters. In addition to the flag, unconfirmed reports have surfaced of graffiti reading "VIVA MUSCHAMP!" The roof last collapsed in 2007 during a Minnesota Twins game, in the lead-up to the Democratic Primaries. This news comes close on the heels of persistant rumors that transhuman experiment Rex Grossman may have again escaped his handlers and is in fact on his way to Washington as this article is being typed. Keep tuned into the PSAS blog as we monitor this deteriorating situation throughout the day...