PSAS Chatbot

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Trichs Coach On Hot Seat, Gore Benched



The Trichotillomaniacs head coach Lao Tzu is on the hot seat after the team’s 41pts blowout loss to the SanFranciscoFerries in week 3.  The Trichs (1-2) are off to a sluggish start after being the subject of "Deckergate" investigation, scoring league-worst 276.40 pts.  Lao Tzu is trying to revitalize the offense by benching slumping and limping Frank Gore in favor of week 3 comet fullback James Casey of the Houston Texans as their RB2.   

"Being and non-being create each other.  Difficult and easy support each other.  Long and short define each other.  High and low depend on each other.  Before and after follow each other," Lao Tzu said about his decision to bench Gore.  Tim Hightower, the team’s most consistent scorer thus far, has been promoted to RB1. 

The Old One’s decision to bench Steve Smith (CAR) in week 1 and Vernon Davis in week 3, both losses, has cost the team over 30 pts.  Following the tao, Lao Tzu is known for more intuitive lineup selection.  It worked in his first season as a head coach, but it has been at times counter-productive of late.  The team may be looking for a more structural approach to the lineup setting.  Confucius’s name has been mentioned as a possible candidate to replace Lao Tzu.

                                            

Speaking of hot seat, Phillip Rivers needs to produce this week against Miami or is also likely facing being benched.  Rivers has thrown two picks in all three games.  While his place in the lineup seems secure this week as backup Mark Sanchez faces tough Baltimore defense, with his bye in week 6 rooming, once benched Rivers may stay there for a while if Sanchez shows he belongs in the league’s Post-Peyton Great QB Club against Baltimore.  With Gore already demoted to the bench, the last thing the Trichs need is another week of their QB scoring in the single digit or the bench more than quadrupling the starter’s points. 


Tuesday, September 27, 2011

\/\/33K 4 P0w3R R4/\/K1NGS!

Week 3 was another punishing ride through Hades for the PSAS. In general, the league moved toward parity with only one undefeated and two zero-win team remaining. League scores also returned to earth, somewhat, with only two teams eclipsing 120. Kenny Britt appears to be the latest superstar to bow out for the 2011 campaign. Conflicting reports have Angry Bird, Mike Vick either ready for week 4 or sidelined until the bye-weeks. A brace of blue chips remain on the shelf with their nervous owners crossing their fingers for week 4. With three games under our belts the orchestra has just finished the prelude - get ready because this is where the fantasy g0dz emerge!



T. 11. Phat Girlz (0-3)
(last week 12)
Another step up for the Girlz, who broke triple digits for the first time this week, but fell to the Dangles by a hair. Schaub, MJD and Bradshaw all looked impressive, but the Girlz need to make some wire pick-ups this week to get a legitimate flex. Getting Manningham back next week would be a step in the right direction, but there were perilously few points on the Phat bench this week.

Next Week - Ferries - The Girlz will need to put together another big number to down the resurgent Ferries.

T 11. dETHRONED_kING (0-3) - (last week 8)

The Rankings haven't lost faith in the dk, we're just driving the price down. The fifth highest score this week is nothing to sneeze at, especially considering they're down a keeper. They've got the weapons to succeed, including Matthews and Hardesty, both steals for the ailing giant. And they've got a deep bench, with double digits from both Jonses. But without Jamaal Charles or a more dynamic QB, they're not the high scoring threat they were last season. Finley is clearly setting the stage for a B34sTM0D3 season. If Arian is indeed back next week, we see no reason for the Royals not to return to their winning ways.

Next Week - BDT - Embarrassed in Week 2, the kING gets a second bite at the apple in Week 4. There's reason to be optimistic here, BDT's WR corps is seriously undermanned, so they'll need to rely on a big ground titration to get things done. Back in-division, against their bitter rivals. Expect this squad to give the keys to the Kingdom for a horse on which to ride to victory this week.


10. Cincinnati Dangles (1-2) (last week 11) -

Check it out y'all, they Danglin' in Cincinnati! The Dangles proved they could be a force in the Milesian this year with their first victory and their third straight +110 game since new management took over. Consistency is a watch word in fantasy football, and if the Dangles can put up triple digits week in and week out, they'll more than likely end with an above .500 season. McCoy continues to lead this squad on the ground, with his two top 5 receivers in tow. If Matt Ryan ever gets hot, watch out, we may not have see the Dangles' ceiling yet.

Next Week - JGPB - Staying on their Eleatic road-trip the Dangles face the Pelicans, in an effort to prove themselves contenders. The Dangles will need a well-rounded titration and probably a little bit of luck to pull out a victory here.

9. Trichotillomaniacs (1-2) (last week 6) -

The Hair Pullers needed Hightower on Monday night to avoid the rare single digit sweep in a underpowered week 3. For Nicks and Rivers, those are going to be rarities. Gore's questionable ankle for next week is more worrying. Frank the Tank is the core of this team, if he loses carries by giving the spotlight Kendall Hunter next week, it could be a blow to the Trichs playoff chances. Expect Denarius to step off the bench against the favorable Pats match-up.

Next Week - Tusken Raiders - The Raiders are not looking their best next week, with Kenny Britt likely gone for the season and CJ still not shouldering a full load. Still, somebody will have to step up for the Trichs, since the Raiders regularly score 90 on an off day.


8. SF Ferries (2-1) (last week 10) -

The Ferries were the big winners in the CGG last week, and spent some money on the wire. Daniel Thomas was a nice pick-up and paid off right away, handing them a week 3 victory. Whaddya know? While seeing Hardesty may ultimately damage Hillis' fantasy high-end, the Ferries still seem like a team moving in the right direction in the Eleatic. Long term, they should only need Newton to continue to be better than average to compete in triple digits.

Next Week - Phat Girlz - The Ferries stay in the Eleatic for a chance to go 2-1 in division. Maclin's injury is allegedly minor, if he practices fine, the Ferries should have no trouble setting their lineup. Still, it wouldn't be amiss if they went wire fishing for some depth at receiver.

7. The Pelican Brief (2-1) (last week 9) -

The Pelicans performed to a high standard in their biggest game of the year so-far against last year's champs VK. It's the Rodgers and Welker show at the Law Firm this week, and possibly every week going forward. Wallace and Jacobs both were overshadowed on good days, which says something about the ceilings of the former two. Starks reversal is worrying, especially when coupled with Ryan Grant's day, but we won't lose sleep over it yet. The Pelicans left some points on the bench, including 20 from LT, which would be nice in the flex, if they could depend on it.

Next Week - Dangles - The Law Firm better not sleep on the Milesian's newcomer who has the power to compete in triple digits.


6. AEthernauts (1-2) (last week 7) -

The AEthernauts explored their first win of the season on Sunday, a big triumph over in-division rivals BDT. As expected Megatron and AP figured heavily in the victory, but Flacco, Bowe and Pettigrew all got hot and pushed the Nauts to the finish line. This is more the shape of the score that we expected when we looked at the 'Nauts post-draft line-up.

Next Week - Vicks - the Nauts will look to even their record and take another one in division by playing their hot hand against last years champs. On paper, this looks like one of the best games of the week.

5. Tusken Raiders (2-1) (last week 3) -

Inflated expectations got the better of the Raiders and they got sold high by the Bankers. On the plus side, Run DMC is clearly the class of the league in the ground game this year. On the worrying side, his groin could be a question mark, Johnson still hasn't gotten started, and Winslow looks more like a low-end TE. Still, Tom Brady will throw big yards every game, and most games he won't throw four picks. Look for Nate Washington to try and step up to Britt's position on the depth chart.

Next Week - Trichs - Don't expect the Trichs to look as down-in-the-mouth as last week. This should be a bounce back game and a legitimate test for the Raiders.


4. GrossmanSachs (2-1) (last week 5)

Vick's health is still the story, despite the key victory, and that's likely going to continue until he posts another monster game. This one looked about as unusual as possible for a win with a TE as the high scorer and the IDP and D/ST contributing +40, more than 40% of the total. But a win is a win. Mendy will play better, Holmes will catch touchdowns, but the very real possibility that Vick may enter a fantasy twilight zone will keep the Bankers titrating night and day. Cutler is the back-up here, if that doesn't express the dilemma neatly nothing will.

Next Week - TTM - The Bankers will face off against the new #1 in an Eleatic showdown. The Tigers are littered with question marks this week. Despite what the predictions might say, this one is yet again Breesus & Co. vs.

3. Vixkennel.com (2-1) (last week 1) -

The Dawgs got skunked by the Pelicans in Week 3's upset. Last year's champs seem to be steadily drifting back to autopilot, as they greenlit a Patriots D/ST which had allowed the most passing yards through two games, against a Bills' offense that had produced ridiculous numbers. Week to week, the Dawgs don't have the extant titrations to cover silly mistakes. If Ryan Grant gets a bigger piece of the Packers action, they may have found an elegant solution to the Flex. though.

Next Week - AEthernauts - This is a good challenge for the Dawgs, a few pick-ups here wouldn't hurt. But we've seen luck make bigger gaps disappear.

2. BldgDwllngThnkng (2-1) - (last week 2)-

A bit hungover perhaps from their huge victory over the kING, BDT got outplayed by a hungry AEthernauts squad. Still a respectable score and lack of injuries should keep their future prospects sunny. Michael Turner had a low-ball day, but Stafford and Jackson both had monster performances. Benson's second straight mediocre score is probably foreboding his imminent suspension. They may need to go to the well again for a Miles Austin replacement, after Devery Henderson seemed to be downgraded with Lance Moore's return.

Next Week - dETHRONED kINGS - The rematch. BDT has a remarkable position in this game. The chance to either cast their rivals into fantasy hell, or let them climb back to within a game of themselves. BDT is treading water until Austin returns, so a victory here is some very rich icing on the cake indeed.

1. Taking Tiger Mountain (3-0) (Last Week 4) -

Zeus' thunderbolt joins the longest winning streak at 3. The last unbeaten team, who flew under the radar in the draft and first weeks, now has a target on their backs. The Tigers have roared for the third straight week with a 120+ win, and setting their all-time scoring record three weeks in a row - they certainly deserve to revel in this moment a little. That being said, this isn't a tenure at #1 we expect to be long in duration. Drew Brees and his cohorts were again the engine in a triple titration gamble train. Again Brees threw for +300 yards and found Graham and Meachem in the endzone. TigerMountain needs both of their feature backs to reclaim a primary place in their offense if they want to remain in contention in the Eleatic, much less the overall #1. If they do, it should be interesting to see if the Tigers are indeed addicted to the triple titration or if they'll opt for a running back in the flex. If their backs can't get their legs back, we'll likely see the last unbeaten erased next week.

Next Week - Grossman Sachs - A big Eleatic match early in the season, without doubt. Brees and company travel to a tough Jacksonville D, where it may be hard to produce the heavily titrated numbers we've seen so far. Are the Bankers behind the second coup in two weeks?

CGG Week 3 Results

There were only four participants in the Pick Six this week. The Pick 6 results are as follows.

JGPB 5
TTM 4
SFF 4
Trichs 2

No one hit all six as everybody picked against the Bankers. The buy-in was 7500. So the pot is 15,000 (7500 net) awarded to the pauper JGPB. The remaining 15000 is rolled into the jackpot for next week (26250). In order to encourage participation, next week will buy-in will be scaled back to 5000.

The Game of the Week challenge was clearly too easy this week as everybody who played won. 5k was the betting limit. So, 5k awarded to Trichs, TTM, GS, SFF. I'll be taking suggestions as to Week 4's challenge. So let me know what you think...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Week 3 Game of the Week! (A CGG Offering)

Week 2 had an awful lot of points. And that's the focus of the Game of the Week offering this week. We'll be playing the total points over/under up to 5000 PRN. Simply reply to my post on Yahoo with your denomination and whether you think our two competitors will exceed their Yahoo predictions when added together. Which game is that? I'm glad you asked.

Phat Girlz - The Girlz' owner Mo'nique issued a Phillipic on points expansion but we'll be surprised if they stay out of the act much longer. With Schaub facing a pass friendly New Orleans D, Bradshaw facing a run friendly Philly D, and Roddy White looking to bust out. Then again dents to Manningham and Gonzales could low-ball PG again.



VS.


Cincinnati Dangles - Leading with 2 top-five WRs and a hot-hand RB, the Dangles have broken triple digits in their first two games this year. Fitzy might just breakout in Seattle, where the punishing D-line usually keeps the ground game in fantasy limbo. Keep an eye on the cross titration in this one as Matt Ryan's performance against the Bucs might make or break the total. With expanded defensive rosters this year, those IDP points really add up. Although take note that Polamalu doesn't get extra points for beheading Kerry Collins.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

BREAKING: Trichs Quick Apology Masks True Intentions...Results Could Be Catastrophic


Breaking News
Associated Press
Scott Templeton
--

While the Trichs' were quick to play damage control after league watchdog JGPB brought DeckerGate 2011 to the world's attention--the AP has learned that the illegal Eric Decker transaction (based on league precedent) is at the center of the biggest security breach in PSAS history.


Here's the timeline:


Sat Night: Independent sources confirm that the Trichs GM consulted with several computer experts concerning the idea of a "back door" exploit. The target: WOPR. The key: Denver Broncos WR Erick Decker

Sun AM: After finding Decker to still be a Free Agent, the Trichs computer team acted quickly to execute their plan.

Sun 4:57 AM to 5:09 AM PST: The key to the plan was the semblance of indecisiveness as the PSAS commissioner would probably interpret the moves as a "honest mistake". In the span of 11 minutes Eric Decker was rostered twice and dropped once. The backdoor had been opened.

Sun 5:10 AM PST: Trichs' lead hacker was instantly killed as he peered into WOPR's mainframe but the damage had been done--the JGPB Official Playbook was compromised.

Sun 5:11AM PST: While Eric Decker is a great WR2 and the JGPB Official Playbook a roadmap to a PSAS championships--the end result of DeckerGate 2001 could prove catastrophic to the world. At approximately 5:11:32 AM PST, WOPR began running its defensive program and locked out all human users.

Sun 6:00 AM PST: Helpless members of JGPB's front office convened to discuss the next steps but most had already accepted the new "endgame" reality. Before DeckerGate 2011 WOPR's mission was to bankrupt the PRN reserve and win JGPB a PSAS championship but now it was playing a new game...


...its favorite game.








W33K 3 P0W3R R4/\/K1/\/6S



Week 2 saw another round of record breaking scoring, embarrassing defense and QB demi-gods. We witnessed Jamaal Charles become the second keeper swept under the waves of the IR list. Week 3 always seems to be the height of speculation, where we wonder if the 0-2 power brokers are truly doomed to bottom-feeding, or if the 2-0 upstarts could possibly ascend the throne. The landmark unpreparedness of defense and special teams squads across the board have created tsunamis and aftershocks for teams across the league. Everything seems in eternal flux. And yet, constants remain - waiver wire heroes will rise to fill gaps, rivals will suffer losses as well, the game will continue. Our reading today is from the Aeneid, Book 1:

...Neptune himself raises them with his trident,

parts the vast quicksand, tempers the flood,

and glides on weightless wheels, over the tops of the waves.

As often, when rebellion breaks out in a great nation,

and the common rabble rage with passion, and soon stones

and fiery torches fly (frenzy supplying weapons),

if they then see a man of great virtue, and weighty service,

they are silent, and stand there listening attentively:

he sways their passions with his words and soothes their hearts:

so all the uproar of the ocean died, as soon as their father,

gazing over the water, carried through the clear sky, wheeled

his horses, and gave them their head, flying behind in his chariot.




12. Phat Girlz (0-2)
(last week 10)

There were signs of improvement for the Girls this week though, including a throwback day from Tony Gonzales, a marked improvement for Schaub and good looks from Bradshaw and Drew, all of which saw them narrowly miss their first triple digit performance of the season. Being down two games in the division is serious business for sure, but there's time aplenty to rise here. There are a plethora of tools here, and a lot is riding on Roddy White, but a little defensive tinkering on the wire could make all the difference.

Next Week - Dangles - Look for last year's runners up to stop the bleeding next week with a double-counter titration, holding two of Ryan's favorite targets. A good week for the Falcons could backfire on the Dangles.

11. Cincinnati Dangles (o-2) (last week 11) -

The Dangles are no roll-over expansion franchise. That's for sure. After topping 100 for the second week in a row, they still have nothing to show for it. But from the looks of this squad, the wins are still there to be had. If Matt Ryan is going to start replicating his run last season, Low Boys are going to slip somebody up soon and dangle all over their face soon.

Next Week - Phat Girls - The Dangles have to like their chances here, PG are the lowest scoring team in the first two weeks.


10. SF Ferries (1-1) (last week 12) -

The Ferries opened a new chapter on their season in week 2 by beating the Dangles in high flying fashion. Maclin, Hillis & Gronkowski all topped 20, and Kolb looked like a quarterback. The three New England Players look like a fine points play, and some good defensive pick-ups should bolster their scoring on slow days. The Ferries took Cam Newton for the same money Mike Vick brought on the wire last year, but significantly earlier in the season. With a big win in the Casino Gulag, would they attempt to reel in another leviathan?

Next Week - Trichs - Back in the Eleatic, the Ferries need to even out their divisional record if they want to keep making positive strides.


9. The Pelican Brief (1-1) (last week 9) -

The Pelicans took a must-win this week against the Girls, but blew their cash on magic beans for the 2nd season in a row. It's hard to see them using their remaining 5k to fill all the holes over the rest of the season. It could be the Firm is destined to achieve this year, if so, it would appear that they are destined to do it with the team they have currently. Don't discount rumors of a PMF loan, but the price will be too steep for any rational owner to contemplate.

Next Week - Vix - If the Pelicans want a shot at top half status then knocking the Dawgs out of first place would be a great way to start.


8. dETHRONED_kING (0-2) - (last week 7)

Jamaal Charles' season ending injury doesn't behead the kING. Foster's status for Week 3 is up in the air (as is Felix Jones') and that has to keep their point potential anchored to reality, but they've still got plenty of scoring potential, as well as money to make things happen on the wire. DK needs to get Bryant healthy and hope that either Foster or Ward is an obvious start. Matthews may be an interesting piece for to play with, and a crucial one as their health concerns continue. The Royals played it cool on the wire last week, will they bite on Charles' replacement, or attempt a trade? Or will they, as Rumsfeld said, "go to war with the army you have, not the one you want."

Next Week - TTM - This is an inter-division match-up with the newly hot 'chise, so it's not necessarily a "must-win". Looking down the pike, they've got a rematch with BDT and a visit to the Dawg House, both intra-Milesian match ups, both with season changing potential. Still don't be surprised if they get an early start and billy-goat the Tigers down the mountain.


7. AEthernauts (0-2) (last week 5) -

The Balloonists inflated another good number in Week 2, but got downed by a powerful Raiders storm. Despite having fallen 6 spots since their shocker week 1 overall #1 selection, they're still viable. Remember this is the team that had the hottest 2nd half in league history last year. We haven't begun to see what they can do, but we got a little taste with AP putting up 26 and Blount 19. Flacco and Eli could be a conundrum all season, but if the Lions keep those touchdowns coming for Johnson, it shouldn't be a deal-breaker. Pettigrew's innability to get involved in the Detroit scene has to be frustrating here.

Next Week - BDT - No rest for the weary. Having played the league's 2nd and 3rd top scorers, the AEtherNauts play numero uno in Week 3. If Austin is out this could be an upset alert.


6. Trichotillomaniacs (1-1) (last week 3) -

The Hair Pullers got the short end of TigerMountain's triple titration stick. But they put up triple digits for the second straight week. As long as Gore and Hightower can continue to play to pre-season expectations the Trichs can wait on Rivers stepping up to top five status, and if VJax is truly back then it should be sooner than later. The Eleatic is as jumbled as ever so in-division match-ups could be key.

Next Week - Ferries - The Trichs get the San Francisco treats who came out mad in week two and topped 150. The .500 line is on the line in the Eleatic.

5. GrossmanSachs (1-1) (last week 2)

Vick got his bell rung in the 2nd half of the Sunday Night game and left the Sachs holding the bag against the Dawgs . Even if Vick is all right for next week, it's a bitter downgrade for the Bankers, who caught the Champ on a beatable weekend, but couldn't close the deal. Long term futures will stabilize based on Greene's passable performance, and the potential of Jahvid Best in Motor City points factory. As predicted Chicago's defense against in the Big Easy was the difference between a win and a loss.

Next Week - Tusken Raiders - Don't count the Bankers out just because they're facing a high flyer. This is just the kind of downward counterfactual we'd expect - drawing votes away from their side only to torch a straw man.

4. Taking Tiger Mountain (2-0) (Last Week 6) -

TigerMountain brought the warpaint with the premiere of the DR34D T1G3R colors, and the team responded with a triple titration effort. Even without keeper SJax the team set a new franchise scoring record mostly due to a B34sTM0d3 effort by VJax. A spot start by McGahee couldn't have gone better, but nobody expects that to become a regular thing. Week to week, their relative potential remains yoked to Drew Brees throwing arm. All in all, another impressive week, but it's hard to see the horses in TTM's stable as long haul dominant.

Next Week - dETHRONED kINGS - TTM will face the Reeling Royals for the first time this year. They went 0-2 last year and have yet to beat Old Commish. Don't believe the hype, this one will be a fight to the finish.

3. Tusken Raiders (2-0) (last week 8) -

The little team that nobody loved, jumps five places on the heels of a monster week where only one (!) offensive player failed to draw double digits. The fact that that position player is keeper Chris Johnson will doubtless raise eyebrows. Still getting stuffed by the Ravens line is of little concern compared to losing RZ carries to a vulture. Impressive double-titration from the Brady/Hernandez connection put up 40, but they'll need a replacement TE next week. Still no IDP, eventually, you'd think that'll matter, right?

Next Week - Sachs - the Raiders will face a stiff challenge against the Bankers this week. They'll catch a break if Vick's bell is still ringing on Sunday, though.

2. BldgDwllngThnkng (2-0) - (last week 4)-

How bout them BldgDwllngThnkng! BDT not only took down the goalposts they burned the stadium and salted the field in a B1G statement game against the rival Throneless Ones. Sitting pretty at a 167 score, you can guess that just about everything went BDT's way on Sunday. Stafford appears to have arrived, Austin went bonkers, Turner overdrive, and Fred Jackson (!) flexed big time muscle in Buffalo. Austin's hammy could be a thorn in their side the next few weeks though.

Next Week - AEtherNauts - Another good match-up in BDT's tough first half schedule. 'Nauts should be hungry after breaking triple digits last week and coming away empty handed.


1. Vixkennel.com (2-0) (last week 1) -

Sometimes luck is all the titration you need, which is exactly what Vix got against the Sachs when their namesake took a concussion in the 2nd half of Football Night in America. This week's score was not a blowout. But they survived, and with their history, we're just going to presume that'll ride until it doesn't. Forte/Rice/R-burger each bit off 15 for a lil' bit of everything week. Still serious ?s at WR, so don't go engraving that trophy just yet.

Next Week - JGPB - the Dawgs will go Pelican hunting next week. This could well be their best test so far. The Firm bowed out in the semis last year and missed getting clobbered by Vix in the championship.

CSG Recap Week 2

It's only week 2 and we saw our first perfect Pick 6 - the San Francisco Ferries picked the perfect set. For reference the breakdown of correct answers was
SFF - 6
JG - 4*
TTM - 3
PG - 3
AE -3
BDT - 2
Tr - 1

*The Pelicans were ineligible because of a lack of funds.

There were 6 players this week, and the buy in was 7500. For a total pot of 45,000. For the perfect pick 75% of that goes to the victor (33750), plus the jackpot built up from last week (17500) for a grand total of 51,250 PRN. Not bad for a week's work. 11250 is rolled into next week's jackpot. Next week's game will stay at 7500 buy-in.

Game of the Week - Grossman failed to make the spread, so all bets on Vix are honored. The victors are :

Trichs - 5k
SFF - 5k
JGPB - 5k

Yours truly lost 5k.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Decker May Be Gay but There's No Gate

In light of the supposedly controversial Decker-gate scandal, the usually quiet Trichotillomaniacs' public relations team has broken its customary silence and released the following statement.
 

-Tricho team lawyers are in discussion with the PSAS league officials regarding the acquisition of suddenly trendy receiver Eric Decker.  Although the league does not release official rules documents (locked away in undisclosed location only the reigning commissioner knows) the briefings from the meeting indicate that there was no wrong done in Decker's acquisition.

Generally when a player is dropped, the player goes through the waiver system where he will stay for three days, at the end of which he will be claimed by the team that put in the highest bid for him, or, if there's no bidding, he becomes a free agent.  

In Eric Decker's case, this did not happen.  When Tricho team owner decided to release Decker after owning him for mere 6 minutes, the wide receiver from the Denver Broncos became a free agent immediately in stead of being placed in the waivers.  As a result, when Trich scouts decided that Decker can actually be a viable fantasy choice and convinced the owner that he's worthy of becoming a Mania, they were able to re-add him to the roster 12 minutes after the original acquisition.

So the question is, what dictates which list (waivers or FA) a dropped player is placed in?

Of course in this age of Wikileaks, secret documents are in name only even for PSAS.  Tricho researchers have encountered a document that indisputably answers the above question.  Following is the section concerning dropped players in the document obtained through a league official, who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation:

http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/sports/fantasysports/football/rules/frules-13.html
Details on Managing Waivers
If you drop a player, you cannot reclaim that player until after the waiver period has expired. If, however, you decide that you don't want to drop the player, you can immediately cancel the transaction―provided it has not yet been processed. To cancel the transaction, go to your team page and click Cancel. You have from a few seconds to a few minutes before Yahoo! starts processing the drop.
Note: If a manager adds a free agent and drops that player on the same day, the player remains a free agent. This prevents managers from locking crucial free agents on waivers so other managers cannot add them.





Since Eric Decker was added as an FA and then dropped on the same day, he fell under the noted clause.  Therefore the series of transaction that resulted in the team acquiring Eric Decker and Jacoby Jones for Michael Bush and Jacoby Ford is to us completely legitimate.  The team regrets that the indecision by the scouts department has caused an unnecessary disquiet, and hopes for a speedy resolve of the matter.  We will conclude this memo with a personal statement to the rest of the league by the owner himself:

"Integrity is the founding philosophy of the Trichotillomaniacs and, though not completely blameless, the current accusation surrounding the team and Eric Decker is not only simply without merit, it also attacks the team's core value.  We will fight till the end to preserve our integrity.  In fact, if your foresights were as bright as mine, you would have thanked the heavens for the rule that allowed you to pick up Eric Decker before he produced 21 pts as a free agent instead of waiting until Tuesday and paying 10,000 PRN to claim him.  But since it seems they aren't you are stuck stirring the pot that is not boiling.  There isn't even any fire on the stove."

Monique Rails Against Points Inflation



An agitated Monique was candid in her weekly press conference Monday, and didn't leave much to the imagination.

"I see points inflating like when I step on a scale, baby," Monique exclaimed as a second straight loss to open the season seemed imminent. "I remember when the only benchmarks on Sunday was lunch after church at Denny's and 100 points. Now I look around and I see 130, 140, 150 points and it looks like this defecit that Alex Jones and all those crazy boys keep jabbering about." She added that "teams are racking up points faster than those skinny bitches are losing weight. I feel like I need a abacus just to keep up with this shit."

Monique is already distressed after a gross oversight by the commissioner kept her out of the draft. "People say there's points inflation, but I'm feelin Phat Girlz deflation--deflating my points by sticking me with 3 tight ends, 2 running backs, and no voice in the draft. I feel like I'm at a wedding buffet full of celery and carrot sticks, baby."

Some PSAS onlookers questioned Monique's exclusion from the draft, forced upon her by a scheduling snafu that left her entertaining a newly pregnant Ann Gregory's visit to New York while other teams had the opportunity to select the best available options during the first-ever keeper draft on September 9.

"It's shady, just like when my show was cancelled," former Mike'd Up host Mike Francesa said. "Here you've got Monique, a lady that's always been one of the most active members of the league, and is a defending and 2-time runner up to boot. And she's excluded from the draft? It definitely raises some questions.". Francesa added, "I've known Monique for years and she's all class. She's not gonna make a stink unless she's confident that there's an agenda afoot."

Monique has been quiet thus far, and has chosen to hilight out-of-control scoring above her draft exclusion. "Thats just evidence of her integrity," Francesa said. "She knows she got screwed in the draft, but she's a competitor and isn't going to make excuses. But she also knows that the points race has to have a ceiling--otherwise there's no standard in this league, and if there's one thing Monique cares about, it's standards."

The rest of Monique's presser was mostly typical--she commented on building depth and creating more scoring opportunities for Maurice Jones-Drew and Roddy White. The only side comment of note was that she suggested that LSU is about to run into a "buzzsaw" at West Virginia in college football.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Decker Gate 2011?


Seem to remember a video being made last year concerning a very similar transaction...


Friday, September 16, 2011

WOPR Week 2 Locks


>>Locks
>>ThePelicanBrief
>>TakingTigerMountain
>>BuildingDwellingThinking
>>Tusken Raiders
>>Vickskennel.com
>>San Francisco Ferries

>>Matchup of the Week - CGG
>>Vickskennel.com
>>5,000 PRN Wagered

>>Performer of Week 2
>>Wes Welker
>>The Pelican Brief
>>Projected Score - 31 Points

Casino Gulag Week 2 - Game of the Week !

Announcing a new offering from Casino Gulag. This week, in addition to the weekly "Pick 6" voting game, we have selected one game to focus bets on more intensely. The GAME OF THE WEEK! The House will cover individual bets up to 10,000 PRN. The line will be set as the final Yahoo prediction (rounded up to the nearest integer). Simply reply to my post in Yahoo with your pick and amount.

Grossman Sachs
The Bankers are primed for a big day with Vick's return to Atlanta and Mendy in the NFC West. But can Chicago's D create enough turnovers to be an even play against the Saints?


vs.



Vickskennel.com
The Kennel Klub's ground attack is ready to go with Rice in Tennessee and Forte in the Big Easy, both look ready to put last year's champions on their backs. After a tough week in Baltimore we'll see if the R-Burger can bounce back against the Seahawks.



Like two fancy gentlemen of leisure, these two can't wait to get to the fisticuffs. Right now the line is running Sachs +3, but there's still time for weekend titrations. There's a bracing amount of cross titration in this one, with each team holding a major piece of their opponent's QB's offense. So be sure to do your home work and get your bets in before the start of Sunday's Game!

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

W33k 2 P0w3r R4/\/k1/\/GZ


12. SF Ferries (last week 12) -

It often happens that tragedy leads to rash decision-making. Such was the case with the Ferries QB situation, Manning's surgery lead to a second-guessing of their draft strategy back-up of Kolb. PSA - Kerry Collins is not anyone's fantasy friend, no matter what offense he helms. If the statistical rock that is Manning is truly gone then nobody needs to watch the wire closer than the Ferries. They'll be tossed by the storm until they can settle on a new harbor. Would they go "all-in" on a game changer like Newton? They've got cash to try...

Next Week - Dangles - The Ferries have to pick themselves off the ground and focus week to week. This game is winnable, one at a time.

11. Cincinnati Dangles (last week 11) -

Watch out. That's all we can say. The rookie GM finished 3rd in points this week, and only a rough match-up against last year's victor kept them out of the winner's circle. There's legitimate breakout potential in this squad. In a top heavy Milesian - they'll be an obstacle at the very least. Tolbert's phantom injury and their thin bench keep them from moving up the ladder, but another 100 pt performance and the rankings will have no choice.

Next Week - Ferries - The limping Ferries better take this game seriously. Same with the Dangles. Regardless of what the Yahoo line says, we're calling this a push.


10. Phat Girlz (last week 9)

The Girlz took some hard luck this week, including a kicker injuring himself on the opening kickoff of the season. Expect a Roddy White TD in the near future to spark Girlz spirits. Schaub was also not a big part of the ball-control win over Indy, but that's probably just the wake from the Manning tsunami, we expect Schaub to be a solid fantasyQB1 soon. Tony Gonzales can evidently still catch a ball - watch for the veteran to make an appearance on the Girlz roster soon.

Next Week - JGPB - The top-seeded Girls nipped JGPB in last year's semi final playoff game by a mere two points. Don't think the Pelicans have forgotten.

9. The Pelican Brief (JGPB) (last week 7) -

The Pelicans were underwhelming at best this week. Welker's big Monday saved them from statistical mediocrity. Although, aging warhorse LT put up a good number of points on their bench, and Starks is a legit candidate for a larger part of the Packers' pie. There just aren't enough quality running backs to go around this year. So the Pelicans will have to rely on air-dominance, or dig up a diamond in the ruff. If Rogers' first game is no fluke, there's no need to sell shares in The Firm just yet.

Next Week - Phat Girls - The Eleatic is wide open this year. It's hard to see either team firing on all cylinders this week. This one could come down to who does their IDP homework.

8. Tusken Raiders (last week 10) -

The league's Star Wars themed franchise sputtered early, then found high gear with a little Monday Night Mayhem. Frankly, it shouldn't have been this close. A big under-performance by CJ notwithstanding, IDP is bigger this year than ever. The Raiders played more close games than any other franchise last year. If they don't dig deep, they're not going to improve on their Consolation Tourney victory next year.

Next Week AEtherNauts - Under-performance has a dangerous habit of becoming lowered expectations. The Tusken crew will need to step it up a notch in-division this week.

7. dETHRONED_kING - (last week 6)

A taste of life without Arian Foster was no doubt a bitter draught for league royalty. Mediocrity however was not merely the product of the star RB's absence. QB damage and the weekly D/ST theory both low-balled what was otherwise a good week for the Throneless Ones. With Bradford dinged up and no apparent backup, we'd expect to see the Kings using their considerable buying power on the Cam Newton lottery. If not are early trade winds blowing?

Next Week - BDT - The elite of the Milesian clash in this classic -- the first of two meetings in three weeks. The kING can't stay on his backfoot here. 0-2 would put BDT in the driver's seat in the Milesian. This franchise is not used to losing and historically its rabid fan base has taken even minor bumps poorly. Make no mistake all eyes will be glued to this game Sunday.


6. Taking Tiger Mountain (TTM) (Last Week 8) -

Last year's sophomore disappointment came out hungry in Week 1 and set their franchise all-time scoring record. Unsurprisingly, they did it with a little of everything. Unfortunately for Tigers' fans that's also the most difficult titration to consistently replicate. Doubts about keeper S-Jax's health will put a question mark over consistency in this franchise. While happy to see a momentary return to glory, we remain bearish about the Commish's chances with serious scheduling issues heading into the league's stretch run. Beanie's nice day needs to be more than a sunny Carolina match-up for the Tigers to have sticking power in the top half.

Next Week - Trichs - With late-season priorities up in the air, every game is a must win for TigerMountain. Looking down the barrel at Kings and Grossman in weeks 3 and 4 makes this all the more crucial. TigerMountain must hold court in the Eleatic if they want to remain competitive. Although there may not be many believers yet, step by sure step is the way to take the playoff mountain.


5. AEthernauts (last week 1) -

Fans of the league darlings from last year needn't panic. The AEthernauts still have plenty of steam to explore the massy reaches of the clouds. They ran into a TigerMountain club that had something to prove and got thumped. It wouldn't have looked quite as bad if the Nauts had stuck with Flacco, who blew up this week for 20 points. Megatron and All Day are going to be the heart of this franchise, but we'll keep a close eye on Bowe and Blount, because no two keepers can do it alone.

Next Week - Tusken Raiders - the 'Nauts need to keep pace in a unbalanced Milesian. 0-2 would be a daunting challenge even for the most doughty of adventurers.

4. BldgDwllngThnkng (last week 5)-

BDT put on a fireworks display while blowing out the Ferries. Turner looked like a righteous keeper, and Benson hearkened back to 2009 days with a 120 yd, 1 TD performance. Stafford was the right play this week. And up until the fourth quarter of the Cowboys-Jets game, we thought it was just week 1 fix. However as Romo came unglued, things became murkier for last year's 2 seed.

Next Week - dETHRONED kING - That's a big step up. If Foster is back (and even if he's not) BDT will have its hands full in Week 2 - double titration still an option? BDT just needs to relax and focus, the Throneless Ones are under all the pressure here.

3. Trichotillomaniacs (last week 4) -

The Hair Pullers caught a bit of luck with Arian Foster bowing out for the Kings, but they played to a high level. Rivers and Hightower have the potential to put this team in a power position in the Eleatic. Coltson's injury is timed perfectly with the hype of the Cam Newton/Steve Smith show. Expect Smith to move up to WR2 and headline what could be the top scorer of next week.

Next Week - TakingTigerMountain - This will be a metal-testing game for both Eleatic squads. No doubt there'll be more than a little mania over this week 2 match up.

2. GrossmanSachs
(last week 3)

The Michael Vick show put up a good enough (triple digit) effort against the PhatGirls, but we're sure that's not their ceiling. Mendy got stuck in a blowout and touched the ball rarely in the 2nd half. Prayers that Greene can prove he's a non-bust next week would not be out of order, however.

Next Week - Vicks- The Bankers who bought their opponent's namesake will face off in a true test of cash vs. class. Last week's buoy from the Chicago defense may be an anchor against New Orleans.

1.
Vixkennel.com (last week 2) -

The Kennel Klub bit back at their critics with a new standard of excellence in Week 1 against a resurgent (and legitimately dangerous) Dangles franchise. Ground attack lead the way with a romping 26 by Ray Rice. Perhaps most impressive is 30+ points off the IDP roster. Those aren't numbers that anyone can replicate week to week, but it does show what putting two CB in the defensive flex can accomplish. Both the R-burger and Freeman were underwhelming at QB - is it too ridiculous to suggest the rich man might put a dollar or two on Cam Newton?

Next Week - Grosman Sachs - VK won't play a fellow playoff club from last year until Week 3, but a contender like Grossman will give us a good idea of just what stuff the Champs are made.


CGG Week 1




The stats from last weeks Casino Gulag Games are:

Trichs - 4
JGPB - 4
TTM - 3
BDT - 3
VK - 3
GS - 1
DK - 1

Everyone contributed 5,000 PRN to the pot. The 50% prize is divided between the winners (Trichs and JGPB get $8750 each or $3750 net gain) . The remaining 50% (17,500) will be rolled into a fund for whoever makes the first perfect 6 guesses. Changes to your budgets will be made later today.

The buy in for next week will increase to 7,500 PRN. In addition there will be a "special game" announced later in the week. So don't blow it all on Cam Newton guys...

Friday, September 9, 2011

WOPR Week 1 Locks




>Subject: WOPR Week 1 LOCKS
>Purpose: Bankrupt the PRN Reserve

>Locks.
>ThePelicanBrief
>TakingTigerMountain
>dETHRONED_kING
>Vickskennel.com
>GrossmanSachs
>BuildingDwellingThinking

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

BREAKING! JGPB Hands Over Team Management to WOPR

Breaking News Update - 9:21AM - PST
Scott Templeton

The Associated Press has learned that JGPB GM Shaun Boyle has handed over all team management to a WOPR computer unit. All waiver wire, game day roster, and SILOV decisions will be handled by WOPR from this point forward. Reports from JGPB's front office indicate the decision was made late Friday night after GM Shaun Boyle failed to pick up any running backs of merit during the annual PSAS draft. Despite a vote of confidence from the Toyota Motor company, insiders describe the post draft climate within JGPB as very tense. With the human element no longer a factor--especially in light of Vixkennel's run to the championship last year--experts are already predicting that this could be the breakthrough year for JGPB.

Pictured - Assistant GM (and part-time actor) Michael Madsen urging GM Shaun Boyle to pull the trigger on New Orleans Rookie RB Mark Ingram. "Put your hand on the key, sir! Mark Ingram is a good value in the 4th round. He'll be the goal line back. PUT YOUR HAND ON THE KEY, SIR!"

Pictured - WOPR Unit #22 up and running inside JGPB's Underground Bunker.

Pictured - Front Panel of WOPR Unit #22. JGPB insiders indicate GM Shaun Boyle hopes that WOPR will generate much needed PRN income by gaming the SILOV system on a weekly basis.

Pictured - JGPB GM Shaun Boyle during the annual PSAS draft. This picture was taken shortly after Shaun realized that Jonathan Stewart was the best available RB.











Monday, September 5, 2011

Announcing the Casino Gulag!




In Soviet Russia political undesirables were packed off to Siberia to labor in the gulags. In America we have a more "do it yourself" mentality - and that's just what our new game will allow you to do. Free yourself from the economy of scale, and feed the B34ST with your hopes and dreams. Who knows, you could "make it rain" in a club just like role model Pacman Jones, simply become hypnotized by the heady movement of money, or get rolled up in a rug and buried in the desert. Any which way, we win!

Want to learn more? Of course you do.

In order to enhance liquidity and take your minds off recent austerity measures in the PRN, the Federal Reserve Chairman Christopher Woodrow Wilson Said has authorized the Office of the Commissioner to initiate an offer of CASINO GULAG GAMES!!!





What are CASINO GULAG GAMES?
The CASINO GULAG GAMES are fun, easy to play and could make you a lot of money. During week 1 you could win up to $45,000 PSAS Reserve Currency just by "voting" on the 6 games through the Yahoo Site. The participant who picks the most games right will receive 50% of all the entry fees (split pots for ties). If you pick all six games correctly, that goes up to 75%. Leftover PRN will be restricted to fund future liquidity operations.



How do I play?

Pick the winner of all six PSAS games (remember, voting stops when the first game begins on Thursday night). It costs 5,000 PRN to play, and is, of course, entirely voluntary. Funds will be transferred to/from your account at the conclusion of the week 1 games. All races, creeds and political affiliations are welcome. Anyone can win!

Things to consider:

1. The rules and stakes may/will change week to week so be sure to check in on the blog.
2. You must vote on all six games to be considered for this event. Voting on up to five will simply void your entry.
3. Voting stops when Yahoo ends it (usually when the first game of the week begins). And Yahoo doesn't allow you to change your votes (even before the games begin). So, it pays to wait, but not too long.

*** 2011 POST-DRAFT PWR RNKNGZ ***


12. SF Ferries -

Woeful ranking is based entirely on new, as of yet unsubstantiated rumours that Peyton Manning's neck injury might be worse than realised. No team would suffer more if Satan Manning undergoes a second procedure. With Dallas Clark and Austin Collie both projected to start, the Ferries would be scrambling to replace up to 3 starters if the Greatest QB of Our Era is ruled out. Still, Kevin Kolb could prove to be a serviceable replacement for a few weeks if the Manning injury is less severe than feared. This team is already on pins and needles and the season hasn't even started yet.

11. Cincinnati Dangles -

The expansion Dangles put together a more than respectable team in their first Baptism by feuer PSAS phantasy Draft 2011 Online Spectacle Extravaganza. However, the rookie is in for a rude awakening versus the Champ in Week 1. Should the Dangles Shock the World and muster an epic upset, the League would be placed on Immediate Notice, as John Wall Dance Fever Mania could sweep PSAS-favored nightspots from the east to west coasts.

10. Tusken Raiders

Picking 1st overall in the PSAS Draft for a record 3rd consecutive time, the Raiders have an exciting team capable of making the playoffs for the first time in team Hx. Love the Kenny Britt pick - guy is a beast and won't miss any time with suspension. If the rook' Ingram starts collecting goal line laurels this team could be ultra dangerous. The Raiders probably have the most talented top 3 on the League. But alas, the problem with this team has never been talents someone once said, 90% of being successful is just showing up on time.

9. Phat Girlz

Shock absence from PSAS Draft cremation of care ceremony has League worried. Are the rumors true that GM MoNique has been diagnosed with early-onset dementia like her hero Pat Summit, and she simply forgot the Draft time? Or do the Phat Girlz know something we don't? Other clues suggest the Girlz are simply laying low, gathering political support to stage a putsch on the commissionership later on this year. Until proven otherwise, we still think humans are better than computers come draft day, and for that reason, the Girlz have an uphill climb ahead of them to secure the elusive eternal glory of phantasy riches.

8. Taking Tiger Mountain (TTM) -

Solid if unspectacular, TTM is facing an early 0-1 hole unless new heroes VJax and Stevie Johnson can inject some electric mainline into the stagnant franchise early. Color us unimpressed if TTM thinks Beanie Wells can carry them for an entire season, but W. McGahee is an above average flex. Above average IDP defense, too.

7. The Pelican Brief -

The Toyota Ad has anointed the Brief as the best draft class, and who can argue with that? Their running backs suck ballz just like last year, but that's their strategy as every other position is top notch. They'd potentially be ranked higher but we remain cautious regarding Reg. Wayne (see: SF Ferries, supra.). And well, if Gates can remain healthy for a full slate of games, this small market team with limited reserves could be league-wide darlings.

6. dETHRONED_kING -

Arian Foster's tragic injury, clear retaliation by the gods for his otherworldly performance last year, dampers a predictably solid draft. It seems like Texas fever is spreading as this squad boasts in own Texas two-step to rival that of BDT's. It should be interesting to see who wins this duel moving forward. Both teams play each other in Week 2, Game of the Week Alert.

5. BldgDwllngThnkng -

Deft decision-making in the minutes leading up to the Draft, DBT keeps Michael Tuner instead of the rumoured-Romo. Well, the plan worked to perfection as Romo slid to them at the 33rd overall pick, and DBT returns their top-3 triumvirate. Will DBT regret not gambling with the high-upside Felix Jones? We like Brandon Lloyd, this could be the best WR corps in the League. Cedric Benson isn't sexy, but he's an Austinite and should be good for another 1,000 yard season. It's Playoffs or failure once again for BDT.

4. Trichotillomaniacs -

We think the Maniacs had one of the quietest but solid drafts in the PSAS. We're now predicting last year's mediocrity as an aberration, and for this team to return to dominant form. Remember: sustained fantasy excellence is the greatest challenge confronting us mortals, and who can fault the 'maniacs for one below average season? This team was the beneficiary of Vixkennel's highly questionable decision to part ways with its spiritual leader, Mr. Rivers of the San Diego Chargers. Now the Maniacs have perhaps the most fearsome starting lineup in the league. p0wn3d.

3. Grossman Sachs -

Michael Vick. Michael Vick. Michael Vick. Crazy to think he cost only $200K last year. Shonn Greene could be sick, too.

2. Vixkennel -

The Bullseye is clearly on the this team's back this year. He better watch it or he could get Lyndon Johnson'd by one of his fellow Brooklyn Political Party members. How will this team respond to being a frontrunner? If the Kennel responds with added intensity determination and will to power as we predict, the Kennel could take TWO STRAIGHT TITLES, effectively taking over the League. The trophy would have to be renamed the Diosomukos of Ionia trophy, his legend permanently enshrined to the nausea of his rivals.

1. AEthernauts -

A sick draft to go along with the best keeper tandem in the League has us feeling vindicated for calling this one well before anyone else saw it coming. No team will feel good going into a matchup versus Adrian All Day Peterson, Calvin Freak Of Phusis Johnson, LeGarrette Best RB 2nd half of last year Blount, and Dwayne All I did was score 15 TD's last year Bowe. 'Nuff said.

GAME ON

Friday, September 2, 2011

New high in Live Draft.

I'd like to thank all the live participants in tonight's draft. Your participation is a great mandate for my administration.

-The Commish

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Phat Girlz Pickz






Phat Girlz are already up against it. The commissioner is forcing a quick draft without notice, and team manager MoNique is still in Nigeria trying to keep Tunde from getting up on his Nuban princess. But the Girlz have been under the man's boot before and it hasn't kept them down yet. The 2-time runners up are ready to take last year's disappointment into the new season with a chip on their shoulder and something to prove.

VIX PIX

This Cinderella turned juggernaut is keeping the running back tandem of Ray Rice and Matt Forte...

Looking forward to the draft. Also, this team is too big to fail. In other words - ALL YOUR MONIES R BELONG TO US!!!!