Week 5 is
here, and some teams (TTM, PHP and HSNB) are starting to separate themselves
from the pack while others (Trix, SFF and PL) are searching for the panic
button. A bunch of teams are
hovering at 2-2, wondering what to do.
Master Sun himself improved his prediction to close to .500 with a 5-2 record
in week 4 (10-11 overall). Sun Tzu
is only looking up, and until Monday night you all should too.
(t-1) Polk High Panthers (4-0) vs (11) The
Goslings (2-2)
The
expansion Goslings look to put a dent in the PHP winning streak.
HOTlanta
didn’t
even have the perfect game in Ryan Bowl yet still put up over 120pts and came
away with a win to keep the dream of a perfect season (and Millie’s college fund) alive. Cincy offense was held to 6 points (no
TD) in Cleaveland, hurting AJ Green and especially Ben G-E, but Ryan (this is
Matt) connecting with ancient tight end Gonzalez is the locomotive of this
bunch. The backfield situation is,
and has been, a concern here, but with Calvin and AJ at WR the deficit is
easily covered. The true challenge
for PHP comes in week 6, when Atlanta cools down for a bye.
The
babybirds was victorious in Expansion Bowl and evened out their record despite
Shady McCoy being shut down by Denver defense. The birds need him to bounce back and Luck-Wayne titration
to keep up the chemistry. Le’Veon Bell’s role in Pittsburg looks
promising, but he’s on
a bye. Unless they can have a
substantial lead built up by Sunday night, Monday night matchup of Atlanta vs
Bilal Powell is going to be brutal.
-PHP -6.5
(t-1) TakingTigerMountain (4-0) vs (13) SanFranciscoFerries (0-4)
The
battle between the loss-less and win-less is going to be a closer match than
what the records suggest.
TTM
continues to rely on the hot-now connection between Brees and Graham, but
outside of the two there are more questions here. Committee backs Bradshaw, Spiller and Pierce are all banged
up, and Ryan Mathews is looking like a not-a-bust-but-a-chronic-disappointment
type of player. Receivers are also
frequenting the nurses this week.
With Speedy Johnson playing Thursday night, Antonio Brown on a bye, and
the owner looking to retain the titration of IDP Allen and Minnesota defense
through their bye, there’s a difficult decision looming. The mountain men face their toughest challenge yet.
What’s going on with the
boatpeople? Their opponent put up
monster points in week 4 and kept them winless despite SFF scoring over 120pts. The current week and the future looks
bright, however. Gronk is (maybe)
coming back, and their backs are getting healthy again. Knowshown is benefitting from the
Broncos getting to the endzone 28 times a game, and is a key asset through the
bye season. Hard to trust Rivers
and Ginn Jr, but they have enough weapons in the arsenal to pull off this major
upset. Barrington Levy, sing it
for us. Ring di alaaaarm!!
-SFF even
(3) GrossmanSachs (2-2) vs (6)
BldgDW3ll1ngTh1nk1ng (2-2)
Dubbed
the Halfcourt Bowl in honor of the Washington Ave dive, this game is important
to both franchise’s
season. The winner gets right back
in the hunt for the pennant, while the loser will reluctantly have to mingle
with the rest of the underperformers of the league.
In week
4, Grossman left 80 points on the bench and still scored over 140 points to
beat up the Trix by a significant margin.
The sleeping giant may finally be awake now. The blockbuster trade last week that sent away Arian Foster
didn’t
impact the outcome. With Blackmon
finally coming back from suspension, they have six legitimate receivers, plus
the better Manning, MVP, and Gio.
AP is on a bye, but (La)Garrette to the rescue. No problem here.
In Chico,
Romo and Dez are still at it.
Outside of the two, things are not as rosy. Ray-ray, Amendola and Finley are all banged up. There just seem to be one spot on the
lineup that needs to be filled, but the boyz lack the piece. Who would you pick; TY Hilton, Jason
Snelling, Willis McGahee, Michael Floyd, or Isaac Pead. This is the $$$ question. The rolling defense of the week is
Carolina, which maybe a good move.
-Grossman
-7.5
(t-4) HomeSpunNeckBloodz (3-1) vs (9) Tusken
Raiders (2-2)
Both
teams are looking for a bounce-back after they each lost their week 4 matchup.
The Spin
city failed to crack triple digit in Ryan Bowl. The gears aren’t really connecting right here. They benched Cutler in favor of Dalton, and the move came
back to bite them. Cutler threw
three INTs and still managed to score 18, while Dalton was held TD-less in
Cleveland and didn’t even score 5.
This week it could be Hoyer’s time. Forte
(and Sherman-Revis DB tandem) is the only strength of this team until S-Jax
makes a return in HOTlanta, so the birthday boy maybe in for a spoiler.
Danny
Woodhead and the two suns weren’t enough in Tatooine as the Raiders lost a thriller to
Pelicans in week 4. D-Jax was
contained in Denver, but he and Julio Jones are as good a WR receiver tandem as
any in PSAS this season. With
Jordan Cameron emerging as a true b345t in Cleveland and Jamal Charles staying
healthy, the suns must be on the rise for the tribe. Selector, pull’up di Barrington chune agin en ring di alaaaarm!
-TR even
(t-4) The Pelican Brief (2-2) vs (10)
Aethernauts (2-2)
In this
battle of .500, both teams look to use the other as the stepping stone for
joining the upper echelon of PSAS.
The Legal
Thrillers squeaked by the Raiders, thanks to the resurgence of the Brady
Bunch. Seattle defense continues
to dominate, Vernon got back on the field, and Cobb gets back from a bye this
week. The Pelicans just need
Hakeem Nicks to catch some balls, as it’s hard to keep relying on two rookie receivers in Austin
and Thompkins.
The space
travelers are elated to have the double titration of Carolina Panthers back
from bye. No one has been able to
run on Denver defense so far, so DeMarco may struggle this week. But LynchMob looks like his dominant
self, even the way he hung his head after his fumble. If Cam can get back to where he left off in week 3 and Smith
can shake off age-related issues aka being slowed down and proneness to
injuries, the Nauts are will compete each week.
-PB -2.5
(7) Phat Girlz (2-2) vs (8)
Dijonnaise All-Stars (2-2)
Ok, where
should we start with these two.
Maybe we should let Allison Ong decide who she'll pick as the winner of
this match. But seriously, with
both teams at .500 mark, it's a win or sink game for Monique and Colonel
Mustard.
Monique's
girlz squirted big time in the win over SFF in week 4. When the team scores over 150 pts and
the only complaint is an underperforming IDP in JPP, Monique is happy. Sproles is b345ting in the Big Easy,
while the emergence of Lamar Miller and David Wilson in the backfield gives Monique
something to look forward to beyond this season. If D-Bowe can connect in KC once again while Garรงon is on a bye, there
shouldn't be any problem handling the seedlings this week.
The
Poupon Greys couldn't overcome the absence of cheezheads despite b345sting from
Victor Cruz and newly acquired Foster in the Expansion Bowl. Now it's time for a reality check. Colonel wants to prove that the first
two weeks weren't an Eddie Royal-ish fluke. There's now a triple titration in Green Bay which is pretty
good plus they are over the bye.
The Mustards can probably use some help at TE and RB, with Fitz not
performing at the past levels and the Giants offense looking kinda shady.
-PG -6.5
(12) Trichotillomaniacs (1-3) vs (14) Pr1m0rdi4lLyfestylez® (0-4)
It’s too early to hit the panic
button, or is it? This is a must
win for these two bottom feeders of the league. The losing team is likely to have to shift the attention to,
well, … has
college Basketball started yet?
Trichs
got thumped by the bankerz in week4.
Vick started in place for Kaepernick and did ok against the Broncos
defense, so he may be retaining the gig for the moment. Receivers Boldin and Decker are putting
up their share of points on the scoreboard. Gore is still running like it’s 2009. The problem here is really backs DMC,
MJD and Ridley, the three-sum that was envisioned to be the wild orgy of this
season after the draft. DMC is
back on the stretchers, Ridley’s injury adds to his bad situation being influenced by
(La)Garrette, and MJD for now still plays for the Jaguars. The General may need to dip into the
depth at tight end position to acquire an offensive spark to salvage the
season. With no significant bye
other than in IDP this week, it’s a perfect time to start the upward movement.
The
Primordial ones at least got a tight end for week 4, but still underperformed
with Doug Martin and D-Rich disappointing. There are upside here in week 5 and going forward, with
T-Rich likely being promoted from goal-line/short yardage back into the feature
role with Bradshaw’s injury in Indy.
IDPs are formidable, but the team defense can’t keep scoring in the
negative. Oh, It’ll help if the team notices TB
is on a bye this week.
-Trix
-3.5
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