Rivalry Week in WEEK 2

Rivalry Week Set in Week 2!

The following rivalry games will be played in Week 2.  That's right, it's next week.  Why wait when we can have it now.

The proposed match-ups are as following, with series records in parentheses. 

BuldingDW3LL1NGTh1nk1ng vs The Pelican Brief (Cali Bowl) (6-2)

-German philosophers lead this historical series 6-2, but the bitter rivalry is usually played out to the end as suggested by the week 13 match last season that was decided by a mere 1 point.  Grishamites look to snap 3-game regular season losing streak to BDT and defeat Chico Boyz for the first time since the third-place game in 2010 season.

Phat Girlz vs Trichotillomaniacs  (Bushwick Bowl) (3-2)

-Girlz lead this long-running feud 3-2 that was originally fought across the hallway of First East Belk in 1998.  Monique handed the General his last defeat in the final regular season match before the East Siderz won out the playoffs en route to 2013 championship. 

SanFranciscoFerries vs TakingTigerMountain (NYU.tv Bowl) (3-3)

-Two storied franchises proud themselves on solid titration year in and year out will battle it out in this straight-up dog fight.  The two have engaged in five regular season matches and one playoff match, being squared at 3-3.  Ferries' last year's win over TigerMountain ignited the impressive record-setting nine-game regular season winning streak for them after an 0-4 start. 

Polk High Panthers vs Homoerasmus James (Peach Bowl) (0-0)

-The black soil of Atlanta still smolders from Civil War memories, and that will be battle grounds for this newest rivalry of PSAS.  Why, land is the only thing in the world ...

AEthernauts vs Shock_Pick (Class of '04 Bowl) (3-2)

-There's probably more to these two franchises, but my memory is hazy from those days.  I think it was Schmader and Brian that then-our-roommate Jay Hollis found rummaging through our fridge in Hart 104 in the wee hours of a weekday morning.  Maybe it was someone else (pretty sure one was Schmader, the other could have been Garrett or Kiichi, who knows).  Mirroring recent troubles for the psych dog franchise, Nauts are riding on a three-game winning streak over the Shock. 

HomeSpunNeckBloodz vs Dijonnaise All-Stars (Barclay Center Bowl) (1-0)

-The battle of Brooklyn fancy condos is currently scheduled to take place consecutively in Week 2 and Week 3, the only possible wrinkle to this idea.  Or we could see an epic rivalry emerge from back-to-back match-ups. 


Since I know some of you better than the others and some of you I don't know much about at all, if there are other suggestions or ideas, let me know and I'll take into consideration and make adjustments.  If you stay quiet, this will be how it is.

Casino Gulag Week 1

Return of Casino Gulag Games

Under New Management

The Palace of Debauchery is open for business, and for this week the offering is Yardz Is Right.  Name a player who you think will have MOST TOTAL YARDS WITHOUT GOING OVER 100. 

For casino's renovation Grand Opening offer, this week's game is for free.  All it takes is your will to get the prize of 15 bb.  With 6+ participants, the prize will go up to 25 bb.

As token of his appreciation for the opportunity to do business in PSAS, casino don Kenji has bought all PSAS owners gifts.  He's worked with the feds to pay for a deal to make all Week 1 stock and derivative purchases eligible for previously announced freebies.  This means that now any 5 bankerbitez put into the market through stock or derivatives will come with free Bless di Wildcats and Cool-anta.   "Vibrant economy is vital to success of my business," Kenji told the media.

 

Comment here or the stock market, or email me for orders.  Casino games are 1-bet-per-player and on first-come basis.  For the sake of fairness, I will place my order after three orders or twenty-four hours past initial posting, which ever comes sooner. 

Stock Market Week 1

*Updated

As previously announced, Stock Market will open for business in Week 1.  We are giving you the long weekend to research, contemplate and decide on your investment options. Purchase of stock comes with many incentives this week thanks to a generosity of an investor, plus 2 bb per kickback to the economy.

The payout schedule for 5 bankerbitez is as following.

                         Blue Chip     Market Performer     Junk
Blue Chip                  5                      3                          2
Market Performer     10                     5                          3
Junk                         15                     10                        5

This week's match ups are:

(1) Trichotillomanics (5 bb) vs (2) SanFranciscoFerries (5 bb)

What better way to open the new season than a matchup between preseason number one versus number two.  Yahoo prediction gives a slight edge to the Ferries running on record nine game regular season winning streak, but it's a fairly even match.  Kaepernick vs Wilson, if the General decides to start Kaep over RGIII, will be the featured QB match-up.

(3) PhatGirlz (2 bb) vs (11) Dijonnaise All-Stars (15 bb)

Ong Bowl 2014 in the opening weekend will feature Mustards' A-Rodg throwing to Monique's Cobb in a counter-titration match.  RB matchup Foster vs Tate is also an interesting former handcuff battle.  

(4) TakingTigerMountain (2 bb) vs (12) Shock_Pick (15 bb)

New beginning for the primordial ones, looking to restore pride and snap record-setting losing streaks.  Beating TigerMountain poised for return to apex is a tall order, but a good IDP overhaul will give the Shockers a solid chance for a big payout.  

(5) PelicanBrief (3 bb) vs (9) Polk High Panthers (10 bb)

A matchup between super ground attack of Pelican vs dangerous air raid of Polk High is, despite the odds, a 50-50 game.  QB play (Brady vs R-Burger) will most likely decide the outcome.  

(6) Homoerasmus James (3 bb) vs (10) AEthernauts (10 bb)

The New Kids in town are ranked rather high, but their roster gives them validity.  For the Big Sky, Cam's status for the opening week, while fairly certain to play, is a concern.  Still, this is not where Uranus of PSAS belongs in the rankings, and Nauts against rookie may be an incredible value for those looking for an -upset- and a decent payout. 

(7) BuldinvDW3LL1NGThinking (5 bb) vs (8) HomeSpun NeckBloods (5 bb)

Two storied franchises are looking for bounce back seasons.  Rematch of 2012 championship game will see both teams battle it out, with all three phases of the offense evenly matched.

This week's derivatives (Multifacta) for sale are:

-Welcome (back) to PSAS = Shock WIN over Tiger AND H James WIN over Nauts  (50 bb for 5 bb)

-Hotlanta = Polk High WIN over Pelican AND H James WIN over Nauts (20 bb for 5 bb)
-Celebrity Jeopardy Continent = Trix WIN over SFF AND H James WIN over Nauts (20 bb for 5 bb)

When you buy two or more tickets  For this week, with a purchase of any stock or multifacta, two derivatives "Bless di Wildcat" and "Cool-anta" are on the house.  These freebies are not for sale individually.

-Bless di Wildcat = Trix WIN over SFF AND BDT WIN over Bloodz AND Girlz WIN over Dijon AND Nauts WIN over H James (50bb for FREE)

-Cool-anta = Nauts WIN over H James AND Pelican WIN over Polk High (10bb for FREE)

To encourage participation, we are making it easy with all tickets-for-sale being a combination of just two games.  We are riding on the expansion team H James heavily in our speculation as sort of a welcome fanfare.  Last year, then-expansion Dijon made Colonel proud with a win to start their inaugural season.  We bet H James will duplicate the success.  As for Shockers, new name equals fresh start.  It's like Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens.  We bet Shock will play like SuperBowl winning Ravens. And Sean Connelly.  What's your answer, in a form of a question?  "A-sia"

Savvy investors will notice that the free tickets are actually hedge on your purchase.  The freebies will give you a chance to receive your money back or even get paid (big) regardless of the outcome of PSAS debut for H James.  As an introductory period special, most payout rates are currently double the market value.  So take advantage, and also get the bonus freebies by buying multiple derivatives.

As always, you don't win if you don't play.  And remember, play not to lose.

Comment below or e-mail me to place your order.

Preseason Power Rankings 2014

And now his watch is ended...

A virile Commish takes power

After a bit of preseason bloodletting worthy of Game of Thrones three franchises (two legacy) are gone, a commish toppled, and a shell-shocked league wondering what to expect next.  Well, if you've read the books you know, a bit of orientalist fantasy, a lot of talky intrigue and not nearly as many boobs as the early seasons.  Rankings don't mean much until the cleats hit meaningful turf, but that never stopped us before.


1.  Trichs  -  The new Shogun rides into town on the heels of last year's victory. Shady McCoy and the Muscle Hamster will muster a top tier run attack. And the General will hope that cheap keeper Julius Thomas can cover for dual WR2s in an aerial attack.  Keeper-nick and RGIII round out at QB with a dual running QB strategy.  It's a balanced attack with some big names on defense, it's a new day for the Rising Sun.

2  SanFranciscoFerries - The Bay Area Boatmen are ready for another run at the title after a Cinderella streak ended ingloriously in December last year.  They return RB1 Lacy and talented deep threat Patterson. Question marks abound with Gronk and Welker injury concerns and Bell's off field concerns. But expect big numbers out of a QB competition between Wilson and Stafford.  There's plenty of reason to be sanguine about the Ferries as playoff repeaters.

3.)  Phat Girlz - The Girlz returned a WR-RB on the cheap with Garcon and Tate (finally traded out from behind Arian).  That allowed them to pick up some brand name help in the form of RB1 Forte,  a pair of legit wideouts in Hilton and Cobb, and a solid QB2 in Luck. They're thin in the way of depth, but if Luck or Tate takes a big step forward they'll be heavy-hitters again.

4.) TakingTigerMountain  - The Mountain kept the unlikely TE-WR combo, although an appeals court had to make it official that Graham is a TE.  After narrowly missing the playoffs last year, TTM put the band back together returning QB1 Brees and a host of flex candidates in Vereen and Sproles. The elephant in the room is the huge bid for AP, if he's healthy 16 games then he might be worth it.  If not then the Mountain will be over-reliant on air power yet again this year.

5.)  Pelican Brief -  The Legal Eagles kept a QB-DEF combo in Brady and Seattle's defense. A bounce back for the Brady is the foundation of their season, but the engine is the two presumed top backs of the ground game Lynch M0b and Charles.   Always a wheeler-dealer we fully expect the Brief to hit the back channels before the season gets too old and trade up to improve their air attack.

6.) Homoerasmus James - August surprise with a bullet, the former Commish and  top seed in last year's playoffs dropped out only weeks before the draft. His franchise assumed by a mysterious new-comer is still a force to be reckoned with.  With Peyton as a keeper, there's obligatory talk of age and injury risk.  If he's a repeat of last year then the New Kids start the year with one foot in the playoff circle.   They'll hope that the Bills will finally figure out how to use Spiller, and that Frank the Tank isn't running on empty. 

7.) BuildingDwellingThinking   - The Black Forest returns the dynamic Cowboys duo of Romo and Bryant, hope, like everybody in the Metroplex, that they can't fuck things up indefinitely. With Morris and Monte Ball there's hope for a solid ground game. But depth is lacking with Gerhart at flex an aging Reggie Wayne as WR3.   Still the German Philosopher's are known titrators, so they'll expect them to test the trade/wire waters soon enough to find the right strength.

8.)  Homespun Neckbloodz - the Spinners return a RB-WR in Joique and V-Jax. With bell cows Ellington and Nio-Gio in the backfield, they'll hope to draw consistent power on the ground this year. A lot depends on mercurial QB2 Nick Foles in a wide-open Philly offense. Toss in another top flight year for Brandon Marshall and the Cyclotron might have a dope mixture this time around.
  
9.)  Polk High Panthers   -  Al Bundy's crew kept the biggest dollar number in the league with Megatron and AJ. They also arguably kept the top two receivers in the league.  To get out of the gate they'll need those thoroughbreds to be tops again. Because there's precious little else here. Thomas and Blount as borderline RB2 and R-Burger as QB4 both need upgrades. The Panthers are an obvious trade partner with two spare WR1 in Julio on a injury rebound year and the ageless Fitzgerald.

10.) Aethernauts   - The Nauts returned the QB-RB combo of Newton and Murray, hoping that both can achieve that next step in 2014.  True to their name they drafted Big Air picking up Cruz, Jordy and Emmanuel Sanders, big time deep threats all.  As a result the Rolling Beer Barrel Stacy and newly minted Jet Ivory will fight for RB2 rights.

11.)  Dijonaise All Stars   - Col Mustard and Crew missed the draft and predictably suffered the pains of auto-pick while crossing the international dateline. A-Rodg is still a top flight QB as a keeper, but they'll rely on the computer picks to do the rest of their lifting.  Looking to reclaim faded glory are WR2s White and Wallace.  A bounce back year for Arian would make the Mustard men's roster a little more palatable.

12.) Shock_Pix - Where can you start the year after an 0-fer in the previous year? No lower certainly.   The Pixies return Demarius as top flight receiver.  They'll hope to get similar air space from breakout Allen and a fully rehabbed Harvin.  They'll wait for Ray Rice to sit out his wife-beating suspension, and hope they can get some young numbers out of potential futures picks like Hill and Mason.  Every year we predict that the primordial Commish will return to former glory, is this they year they shock the world?

PSAS 2014 Fiscal Policy Update: Stock Market Reform

After an extended analysis of the market performance and its effect on the PSAS economy from last year, the Security and Exchange Commission of PSAS has decided to restructure the stock market system.  Commissioner Far East wanted a slightly reduced role for the speculative games on the outcome of PSAS 2014 fantasy football season, and ordered the financial technocrats to come up with a new structure for market speculation. 

Instead of a four-tiered previous ratings system, the new ratings will be three-tiered.  Top tier will be called "Blue Chip", second-tier "Market Performer" and the bottom tier "Junk".  There will be four teams in each category.  Each bet will cost 5bb, 2bb of which will be paid to the purchased stock's franchise as dividends, just like last year.

The payout schedule for 5 bankerbitez is as following.

                         Blue Chip     Market Performer     Junk
Blue Chip                  5                      3                         2
Market Performer    10                      5                         3
Junk                         15                     10                        5


Essentially, we are eliminating the 20bb payouts.  Far East financial technocrats decided that last year's historical amount of liquidity put into the player transaction market especially through stock market games resulted in hard-to-overcome advantages for some franchises.  For example, in week 9 of 2013, a record 346 bankerbitez were flushed down to market, with one franchise receiving 101 total bitez.  Such over saturation of the market resulted in a overly inflated and lopsided waiver bids, some critics argued back then.  The above franchise that received more than original cap space (100) proceeded to win the championship, so the economical impact was immense.  The monetary policy thinkers are aiming for a more reserved role for the casino and market speculation industries toward the outcome of the fantasy football league.

The aim is "play not to lose," not "play to win" as one policy maker put it.  "The difference is subtle but important," the same policy maker stated.

The technocrats probably also decided that it was easier to loosen fiscal policies mid-season than tighten them without impacting the player market significantly, so they are starting out with a policy that is slightly more controlled than last year's happy-go-lucky-party economic climate.





The SEC is not opposed to the idea of bringing back 4-tier/20bb market structure.  We are simply starting out with this 3-tier system, and depending on the market temperature may re-institute the original system at any time during the season. 

While investing in junk bonds may no longer yield as much fortune to PSAS franchises, the SEC is coming up with a new way to lubricate the economy.

An introduction of sale of a new combination derivatives called Multifacta, in which pre-selected multi-winner/loser tickets will have high payouts, up to x20 (100bb) for 5 bitez bet.

It will work like this.  I may sell a ticket named "Ten Eyck Walk" which will pay 50 bitez (plus 5 bitez returned) if Bloodz, Tiger, Shock and BDT all win over their opponents.   Or "Fire Pon di Wildcat" that will pay 100bb if Girlz, Trix, Tiger, Nauts, Shock, and BDT all lose.  Those are examples.  Different combinations (starting with combo of two and up to six) with varying payouts will be sold each week, and each ticket will cost 5bb.  There's no dividend paid out for these bets. 

Also, unlike last year, Stock Market will commence in Week 1 along with Casino Gulag.  The ratings and market will not settle until Week 4 or so, which is when Stock Market opened last season.  Money is made when the market is volatile.  So shine your nickel, and surrender to the g0dz!

PSAS 2014 Schedule Reset

As promised, the Commissioner's Office released a video footage capturing the one-and-done reshuffling of PSAS 2014 schedule. 

In Kazakhstan just past 8:30PM local time, people on the steppe noticed and filmed an explosion in the sky that shook their tranquil Thursday evening.

New Commish Shogun or Kim Jong-Un?

New PSAS commissioner's announcement of a scheduled bomb-launching in the evening of Aug. 28, 2014 has been met with mixed reviews in the Far East.  Critics in the Orient are projecting another regional leader's image onto the new commissioner, who proclaimed himself to be the "Shogun" of PSAS.  These critics see General Far East as an inexperienced brat who was simply handed the power, much like North Korea's Dear Leader Kim Jong-Un. 

Stay tuned for more updates about this newest transfer of power in PSAS.