Stock Market Week 4

Here we go, Gents. Stock Market offerings for week 4. There is one new rule this week. THE GAME OF THE WEEK PICK WILL ONLY COST YOU TWO BANKERBITEZ. If you get it right the payout is still the same (in this case you would make 5 Bankerbitez if you pick correctly). Because there will be more bets made on the game of the week pick, they will only pay .5 Bankerbitez (rounded down, obvs) per investment to the owners of the team. The investments were meant to help the bottom feeders, so I'd hate to reward the bluebloods just for having a good matchup.

1-3  - Blue Chip
4-6  - Red Chip
7-9 - Penny Stock
10-14 - Junk Bonds

Here's a chart for the payouts. If a bluechip beats a bluechip, you make 5 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five bankerbitez investment back). If a Blue Chip team beats a Junk Bond team you get 2 extra Bankerbitez (plus getting your five Bankerbitez investment back).

                    Blue Chip      Red Chip       Penny Stock        Junk Bond

Blue Chip            5                 4                      3                        2

Red Chip            10               5                       4                        3

Penny Stock        15                10                   5                        4

Junk Bond          20                15                   10                        5


So, that being said, this week's Matchupz are as follows, seeds are listed in parentheses, so 1-3 are the Blue Chip franchises, 4-6 are Red Chip, etc...:

Dijonnaise All Stars (4) vs The Goslings (10) THE BOWL OF PSAS EXPANSION
Phat Girlz (11) vs SF Ferries (14)
AEthernauts (7) vs PrimordialLifestylz (13)
Polk High Panthers (2) vs HomeSpunNeckBloodz (3) **** GAME OF THE WEEK *****
Pelican Brief (8) vs Tusken Raiders (5)
Taking Tiger Mountain (1) vs BuildingDwellingThinking (6) MR. GATTI'S BOWL
GrossmanSachs (9) vs Trichotillomaniacs (12)

Make your picks before kickoff Thursday. May the G0dz smile upon your bulging pockets.

Chavez: Capitalism may have ended fantasy leagues on Mars

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez today suggested that the "unrestrained competitive economic practices, leading to imperialism" may have been responsible for the destruction of fantasy leagues on the planet Mars. Speaking on World Water Day, Chavez sited commercial water operations for draining the Earth's fresh water reserves. In addition, he argued that Western intervention in Libya was designed to secure valuable oil and water reserves, as well as to disrupt the Italian soccer team Juventus, of which Khadaffi's son is part owner. "The resulting destabilization of fantasy soccer will lead to instability in other fantasy leagues, leaving capitalists to pick up the ever dwindling fantasy resources."
The President, who narrowly avoided a CIA-sponsored coup in 2002, went on to speculate that a similar process of property ownership, exchange value and expansion theology may have lead to a global fantasy collapse on the fourth planet in our solar system. The red planet's connection to fantasy sports dates to ancient times when Roman plebians would create hypnos legiones or "dream legions" of their favorite gladiators on wax tablets supplied by the temple of the war god.