EXCLUSIVE! Commish's Secretive "Trip" to New Orleans

Leaked travel reports have suggested that the embattled PSAS commissioner's "vacation" in the Deep South this weekend may have a darker overtones. Only days after announcing a two-player keeper league flanked by a former Haitain dictator, the Commish will reportedly make a pilgramage to the French Quarter of New Orleans to see the Statue of St. Expedite. The statue, a Catholic icon adapted by practitioners of New Orleans Voodoo to represent Barron Samedi, is a common site for offerings to the powerful 19th century Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau,., whose famous grave stands across the street in the cemetary of St. Louis. Laveau, a powerful creole gris-grisman, is said to have been able to summon the great snake loa Li Grand Zombi. If indeed the commissioner is attempting to gather loa of power, experts agree he would need to collect numerous legendary gris-gris as well as personal items of his enemies. Several possibilities exist as to his intentions. Laveau was known as an oracle able to channel Papa Legba and fortell the future, as well having the ability to summon and exoricize spirits inhabiting the living bodies. Could this be a Thanatoid strategy for 2011, an army of the dead? Occult expert Dr. Gottfried Elmscross commented "It could be as simple as the commissioner seeking divination of the outcome of labor negotiations or asking the loa's advice on expanding the league to 14 teams. Or it could be as serious as black magic. There's just no way to tell." A spokesman for the commissioner Judy Killfile called the report "a bunch of mumbo-jumbo"