Week 6 Picks

Gentlemen, your humble blogger was feeling refreshed after a week off from squinting into the PSAS crystal ball. Then I went and saw "Blade Runner 2049," which, while visually stunning and frequently thought-provoking, was also a straight-up bummer. In place of Rutger Hauer's charismatic, gleefully satanic Roy, we get Ryan Gosling's downbeat Officer K as our resident replicant in the throes of an existential crisis. [SPOILER ALERT] And unlike Roy's cathartic death in the original "Blade Runner," which was the poignant climax of his agonistic-yet-joyful struggle for life, K's death has the depressing implication that it's just as well that he sacrifices himself for a higher cause (here, reuniting Harrison Ford with his long-lost replicant daughter). After all, what does K have to come home to? A hologram wife and old jazz standards in a closet-sized apartment in the slums?

Even more depressing--Las Vegas in 2049 has been abandoned, with nary a soul nor sports book in sight. (It does fare better than San Diego, which is now Greater LA's landfill.) On the plus side, Future Vegas does feature Harrison Ford as a grizzled badass, his probably-synthetic dog, and all the whiskey you can drink. If the Sigma Derby horse racing game from the D was still around, we'd be set.

Now on to the picks (predicted winner in bold; two thunderbolts to account for Week 4 and Week 5's high scorers)....

Nauts vs. Bloodz

The phrase of the day is "irrational exuberance" around Nauts headquarters; we'll keep riding ourselves in spite of serious concerns about Stafford's health, Hunt's return to earth amidst a multipronged Chiefs attack, and the potential for Julio and Fournette to take us for a spin in the centrifuge.

Trichs vs. Girlz

Look for the Girlz to feast this week, with the Trichs WR corps decimated by A.J. Green's bye, Diggs's injury and uncertainty at the Minnesota QB position. And on top of it all, Matt Ryan faces a Dolphins squad ravaged by the cancer that is Jay Cutler.

BDT vs. Dijonnaise

The Mustards have the horses on their bench to make this one a contest, especially with Smallwood living down to his name with a Thursday-night oh-fer. But we'll take BDT and Brady on the hunch that Dijonnaise will continue to function, on the whole, like a pre-Nexus model replicant.

Hanging w Hooper vs. Pelicans

The projections favor the Pelicans, and they're flying with the two studs of this matchup in Gronk and Devonta Freeman (given Le'Veon Bell's underwhelming start to the season). Look for this year's unluckiest team through five games to make a statement.

Polk High vs. TTM

Per the Mountain's own analytics, TTM's performance should get shaky now that we've moved out of September and into the season of ubiquitous pumpkin flavor. But their first loss will have to wait at least one more week as they get a Polk High team helmed by a dead Roethlisberger walking.

psych dog vs. Ferries

This week's marquee matchup, going by the projections. We like Brees at home against Detroit and Cooks against a Jets squad due for a regression to the mean. But rookie sensation Deshaun Watson should help make it interesting as he faces off against the hapless Browns at home.

Picks record to date: 9-9