Week 6 Recap

Week 6 is in the bag and we got all kinds of things piling up in there.  Wins and losses, money and power, lust and caution, shit and honey.  All is well with Monique at the all-you-can-eat buffet.  Pelican's still not found its wings.  Previously winless Trix blowout TigerMtn in scoring the season's second highest points in a game.  This year's early cinderella is L'etoile Dijonnaise, who at 4-2 after grinding out a win in a MNF nailbiter sits comfortably in midst of the playoffs chase.  Teams below .500 needs to start playing with urgency.  The list of noteworthy PSAS fantasy news goes on and on.  But let's take a moment to pat ourselves in the back for welcoming another child, getting engaged, getting married, getting laid, getting licensed, getting a raise, getting promoted, getting wiser, getting old, getting the most out of fantasy football, whatever have you.  Ok, now back to what really counts.  The Injuries situation in the NFL is brutal yet again as we saw too many popping knees and grown-man crying on a beautiful October Sunday, resulting in some major low-balling around the league.  It's crutch time now.

Kicker Tea Party

This was a toss up that ended up helping the rich get richer as Girlz correctly picked Parkey time to come through.  Suisham had the league's shortest FG of the week at 20 yardz while Dawson had a potential 19 yd FG robbed by the decision for Jim Harbough to go for it to go up three scores in MNF. 

TTM: Justin Tucker, 46 ydz

Dijon: Sea Bass, no FG

Future: Dan Carpenter, no FG

Trix: Phil Dawson, 54 ydz

Girlz: Cordy Parkey, 31 ydz

BDT: Blair Walsh, 40 ydz

Greedy Monique will be awarded 33 pts (pot plus matching funds minus 3 bet).

Stock Market

Trix rewarded those who invested in them with a nice payout and the market overall saw a nice gain as predicted, although Future loss prevented from even bigger gains for many.  With injuries mounting, every dollar counts in the waiver market.

Babylon Oppression: Girlz, BDT, and Nauts won, but TTM lost

Curse of Celebrity Jeopardy: Trix won but Future lost

.500: Bloodz won but Future lost

Combo-ATTWN: Trix won, bu Shock and Pelican lost

0-6: Pelican lost but Trix won

cursed derivative will surely return again

Recap

Future: +9

BDT (+2)

Shock (-5)

Trix (+15)

FG (-3)

Trix: +15

Trix (+15)

Babylon (-5)

FG (-3)

dividends (x4=+8)

BDT: +4

Shock (-5)
Trix (+15)

Celebrity Jeopardy (-5)

FG (-3)

dividends (+2)

Nauts: +10

Trix (+15)

Celebrity Jeopardy (-5)

TTM: -3

FG (-3)

Dijon: -3

FG (-3)

Girlz: +33

FG (-3+36)

Shock: +4

dividends (x2=+4)

Stock Market, helping you get cold cuts and do the shuffle since '09

Public Funds Index
+223+69=+292

As always, check your numbers.

Week 6 Casino Gulag

Casino Gulag continues to pump liquidity into the market.  Well, I made something of a promise that if Prater landed Detroit's recently vacated kicker gig, we'll play a kicker gulag.  It's tough being a kicker.  Unlike other positions, if you don't perform, you don't get benched.  You get fired.  Or in Matt Prater's case, you drink (and get caught driving), you lose your job.  This was one that wasn't actually in the arsenal for me, although my pulple-hazed memory recollects picking Greg Zuerlein for some game a couple years back. 

Anyways, I wanted to take some pressure off these fellows, so we'll play a relaxed game.  I'll call it Tea Party Kicking Game.  It's a conservative's game.  Pick the kicker that kicks THE SHORTEST FIELD GOAL.  Under current NFL rules, the shortest possible field goal is 17 yards, 10 yards of endzone plus seven yards that the holder sets behind the line of scrimmage.  So whoever picks the kicker with a field goal closest to 17 yards will win.  A lot of factors go in to play here.  Which teams can't score TDs in the redzone?  Which coaches make conservative decisions to kick rather than going for it on Fourth-and-Goal? 

Each bet will cost 3 bankerbitez, and there will be matching funds on the house.  So the prize pool will be doubled again.  For the sake of it, or just because I mentioned them, if Prater or Greg the Leg, both known for big legs, kicks the shortest FG, regardless of anyone picking them to win or not, all participants will get a 1 bb refund. 

Limit one bet per franchise.

Comment below or email for orders. 

Chicks Dig the Long Ball

The stock market odds/payouts will be posted this evening, but first I wanted to introduce everyone to the newest Casino Gulag Game! Kickers are an under-appreciated Fantasy asset, and it's their time in the moneymaking spotlight. So, this week, the game is as follows: Pick a kicker, whichever kicker chosen has the MOST TOTAL YARDS OF FIELD GOALS MADE is the winner. It's called LEG OF LEGENDS, and your girlfriend is gonna love it.

Jeff Reed is the self-proclaimed Third Leg of Legends Champion.

Each kicker can only be picked by ONE (1) team. Once again, we are going by first come/first serve rules on the selection of kickers. In order to try to rectify the nature of fastest fingerdom that nearly brought down the Hermann Goering Casino Gulag last week, here's what we'll do. Picks are allowed to be made any time after 9pm Beastern. Any picks made before that time will be void, and the transgressing owner will get last pick (but is still forced to play because not playing because you don't get to pick who you want when you broke the rulez is such bullshit that it will not be tolerated.)

So, do twenty five seconds of research, measure some thigh circumferences, see who sucks ballz in the redzone, and make a pick.

As with last week, in order to promote participation, three Bankerbite buy-in, winner takes the pot plus ten bankerbitez. Ties split the pot, but both get the bonus ten bankerbitez.