Sal Paolantonio is currently standing on a ladder outside Matt Stafford's bedroom window (a technique taught in a first day training seminar at ESPN) and reports Stafford just awoke from a fever dream, drenched in sweat, holding his shoulder and screaming in agony. We can only assume he was reliving the gruesome sack from Julius Peppers last year that derailed his career. Thankfully, Stafford won't be playing tonight for personal reasons, and can go back to sleep and dream of a day playing against someone other than the Bears defense.
Thankfully, because of the bold words of Hank Williams Jr., Matt Stafford won't have to relive his worst nightmare tonight
Hearing Sal's report while preparing for their game against Detroit, the Bears locker room was said to erupt in laughter and serenade Peppers with, "Mr. Sandman" as performed by the Chordettes, which soon (d)evolved into "Enter Sandman" by Metallica and the sacrifice of two unemployed Detroit-area auto workers. It's gonna be a fun night in the Motor City.
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