Disturbing reports are circulating within the office of the Commissioner's Intelligence Gestapo that certain league officials and owners may belong to a secretive alien race. According to the report the aliens disguise themselves by means of a high frequency transmission carried by all television and radio broadcasts. A group of scientists discovered the frequency "quite by accident" and have collaborated with CIG officers to produce sunglasses which can counteract the transmission's mind-controlling effect. Unfortunately, a police raid destroyed the first shipment of the glasses. We can only hope that some patriot has escaped the police raid and will help to identify these freaks who apparently have penetrated every level of politics, military and even fantasy athletics.
Bubblegum and "kicking ass" reportedly help in combating the alien's mind control.What is truly amazing is that the American people remain in complete ignorance of the Sword of Damocles that hangs by a hair over their heads. We can only hope that the staff of For Here too, the G0dz are Present will obtain some of these glasses in the next few weeks, identify those who "live while we sleep" and finally free us from the nightmarish alien thrall.
There was an X-Files episode called "Folie a Deux" that dealt with a similar phenomenon--in that case it was a giant mantis-like creature that could camouflage itself from most humans. It turned its victims into, well, zombies.
ReplyDeleteI suspect Revenge of the Sith. The name of the franchise and the owner's physical stature are both highly suspicious.