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Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Necronauts spokesman: Friedmanite faction within PSAS practicing "disaster titr8tion"

In response to the recent release of upwards of 200,000 PSAS cables by Wikileaks, a spokesman for the Int'l Necronauts organization, L. Mortimer Bland, Jr., questioned the quality of the information contained in the leaks:

"It seems to me that, given Assange and Wikileaks' high profile, it's not out of the question that PSAS elites are strategically feeding Wikileaks information. If you look at the pattern of disclosures on the PSAS league blog throughout the 2010 season, it's actually pretty obvious that an elite faction within the league is practicing a form of 'disaster titr8tion,' in which the PSAS masses are fed stories about impending league collapse that leave them shellshocked, numbed, and pliable--and thus less likely to question the elites' radical free market fundamentalist agenda (an agenda exemplified by the highly questionable EMP/Ferries deal from earlier this season, alluded to in the AP story about the recent leaks).

"What's really amazing to the Necronauts organization is that you have these elites with God knows how many PSAS dollarz still tied up in AAA-rated CDO's consisting of nothing more than bundled bets that Brett Favre and Randy Moss's fantasy points would show unlimited growth throughout the 2010 season, and they're still racking up victories with impunity. And you have this situation where all this populist rage is being funneled toward the Thanatoids administration by media outlets like the PSAS blog, with relatively little of it directed at the league financial elites who are laughing all the way to the playoffs while the other half of the master/slave dialectic winds up in the consolation tourney.

"I mean, you wind up with these nameless fuckers riding around with bumper stickers that say 'Guns, League & Logos,' and it just makes you wonder."

Bland's sentiments were echoed in comments to reporters from Necronauts president Tim McCritchley, speaking from his office on the north side of Chicago:

"It's a classic example of how these people will stop at nothing to advance their teleological master narrative, in which everything that happens on a football field is raised up and transcended in the all-encompassing knowledge-system of the perfectly leveraged Market. They want to ingest all of fantasy football into a system of thought, to eat it all up, to penetrate and possess it. This is what Hegel, the Marquis de Sade, and the PSAS elites have in common," said McCritchley, adding, "It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...," before trailing off and turning to ask an aide whether Toby Gerhart was still available on the waiver wire. (Pictured: Int'l Necronauts owner Tim McCritchley)

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