No
doubt you have heard the rumors of my elevation to Consul of the office of the Commissioner. I wish here to allay any fears you may have -- I have never sought power. No, like gentle Cincinnatus, I have led a life of the upright agricola, sewing my crops, tending to my beehives, and occasionally impregnating daughters of the lesser gentry. Truly, you have nothing to fear from me. Although my tenure as tyrant, absolute ruler, and commander in chief of all armed forces will indeed be terrible and violent, it will be brief. For like
unto our virtuous Roman father Cincinnatus I will beat my sword into a plowshare, and take up the part of peace (once the emergency has passed). Waste not your time begging me to take up the fasces for life and become the eternal protector and father of my people, though truly my blood is noble enough. As Magister Populi I would appreciate an open dialogue with all the people - please feel free to speak your mind openly (once you have provided me with a list of your loved ones that I will take hostage to ensure your good behavior). In all things consider first the glory of the league, the honor due your household gods and the hearth fire and surely our founder will soon return.Sincerely,
Lucius Priapus Maximus
An anonymous source within the administration has hinted at several radical rule changes that could be in store--namely a 100 point max score each week, the devaluing of the currency, and exclusion of the San Francisco Ferries from the playoffs. All things to be concerned about.
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