PSAS Chatbot

Monday, October 10, 2011

Lincoln Place Battle: Monday Mashup

******BREAKING NEWZ******

Sal Paolantonio is reporting sources close to lower level executives who report to the inside circle that directly serves the Subterranean Order 911 fathoms beneath Grossman-Sachs headquarters at 666 Wall St are hinting at a possible jersey augmentation for Jahvid Best.

Just after 16:43 GMT today a white upper case "A" along with the numeral 3 was seen being flown into the financial district by Lord Reximillion von Grossman's own carrier pidgeon, "Magog." Further details are merely speculation, but here is a simulated computer image of what we may see tonight.

Jahvid Best's most recent tweet said,
"44Jerz Bng ALTERED rn. An1 play SEGA back in day? LOLZ!!!"

On a related, but far less interesting note. Sal is also reporting that Matt Nordgren, star of Most Eligible Dallas and the guy who mans the soft-serve machine/sets the lineups at Bu1ld1ngDw3ll1ngTh1nk1ng is pulling his hair out right now because of Matt Stafford's well-documented Monday Night Football boycott over their treatment of Hank Williams Jr. Matt Stafford would not respond to frequent rocks thrown at his window by Mr. Paolantonio, but did tweet only minutes ago: "R U Ready 4 sum senzorship???!!! F that! Ima fixin ta run a trot line. cuntry boy caint survive."

Mr. Nordgren was responsive to email, as he always is, even when he gets spam "Are Your Unhappy with How Your Dick Works" emails from someone who hacked his grandmother's email. "It comes with the territory of being MED (most eligible Dallas)," Nordgren explained while serving up some delicious chocolate-vanilla twist. "We're trying to work out a trade for the only other quarterback playing tonight. His name is... is...I'm sorry I'm going to be sick..." Nordgren could only have been referring to the much-maligned-but-undoubtably-apathetic-to-your-thoughts Jay Cutler. Who not only sucks, but is also already owned by... wait for it... Grossman-Sachs.

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