FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The packaging on this bad boy is fucking sweet! The orange slice on the packaging has a fucking mohawk AND sunglasses. This orange slice means fucking business and would probably cut you if you tried to eat him at halftime during your daughter's soccer match.
TASTE: Shock Top fucking rules! I don't know what 'Belgian White' means and I don't give a shit because this beer tastes like liquid gold. (BTW, some shitty brewery in Brooklyn makes a beer called Liquid Gold but that beer is shit compared to Shock Top.) I WANT TO TAKE MY MONTHLY SHOWER IN THIS FUCKING BEER.
FINAL RATING: Highest rating! A+. Four Stars. Gold star. Kennedy Center honors, bro!
HOLY SHIT, BROS. THERE"S A PUMPKIN SHOCKTOP!!!! LOOK AT THAT FUCKING BAD ASS PUMPKIN.