PSAS Open Forum #occupyPR

Friday, October 17, 2014

PSAS CRAFT BEER REPORT #1: SHOCK TOP *UPDATED*

Welcome to the first edition of the PSAS Craft Beer Report!  Over the next couple of months I'll review some of the top craft beers (brews) in the country.  First up is SHOCK TOP!!!!!!!


FIRST IMPRESSIONS: The packaging on this bad boy is fucking sweet!  The orange slice on the packaging has a fucking mohawk AND sunglasses.  This orange slice means fucking business and would probably cut you if you tried to eat him at halftime during your daughter's soccer match.  

TASTE: Shock Top fucking rules!  I don't know what 'Belgian White' means and I don't give a shit because this beer tastes like liquid gold.  (BTW, some shitty brewery in Brooklyn makes a beer called Liquid Gold but that beer is shit compared to Shock Top.)  I WANT TO TAKE MY MONTHLY SHOWER IN THIS FUCKING BEER.

FINAL RATING: Highest rating!  A+.  Four Stars.  Gold star.  Kennedy Center honors, bro! 

UPDATE (10/19) 

HOLY SHIT, BROS.  THERE"S A PUMPKIN SHOCKTOP!!!!  LOOK AT THAT FUCKING BAD ASS PUMPKIN.  










10 comments:

  1. Blue Moon, but you know for Bros, brah

    ReplyDelete
  2. Blue Moon? Never heard of that one. Will check that one out unless it's brewed by some shitty brewery like Bell's, Founders or (barf) Russian River.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stickler Alert: Kirin Ichiban is Milwaukee brewed #AmheuserBusch #IchibanMeansJapansNumber1

    http://homesweetbrew.wordpress.com/2012/12/13/fake-craft-beer-alert-shock-top/

    http://www.brewersassociation.org/press-releases/craft-vs-crafty-a-statement-from-the-brewers-association/

    http://business.time.com/2013/08/13/that-craft-beer-youre-drinking-isnt-craft-beer-do-you-care/

    ReplyDelete
  4. That fucking Shock Top Orange eats your left wing propaganda for breakfast, bro. Hears (sp?) a tip: crack open a Shock Top tall boy, turn up Stern and shut the fuck up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. they have forty? i want the biggest mohawk

    ReplyDelete
  6. Not sure, bra. You could dump out a bottle of that shitty Arrogant Bastard, fill it up with Shock Top and then repeat the process. 42 OUNCES BRO.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bra since i moved to the west coast i drink exlusively shock top. bro'z its just really that good. totally awesome commericals too. very funny stuff. check this commerical out and tell me you dont want to go bro out. totally nailed it demographics wise.

    Good stuff

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keSlgJgewJo

    ReplyDelete
  8. Cha, bra. Thanks for sharing. I see a lot of shitty beer in that store around the Shock Top. Shock Top should just have their own store like Apple Store sylez, bra.

    ReplyDelete