Report: Eli Developing Rapport with Vikings DBs

"Eli, you're not really gonna play the whole game with a Gila Monster in your pants, are you?

Dickie Dunn has been reporting live from Giants practice all week, and in an effort to "really capture the spirit of the thing," sat down with Eli Manning to review what he'd witnessed.

Dickie: You were really slinging it out there, Eli.

Manning (while eating Fruity Pebbles): Yeah, well, you know I have a lot of confidence in these receivers. Sometimes in this league, everything sort of slows down, and you feel real comfortable. I can tell it's gonna be one of those nights after working with these Viking Defensive Receivers.

Dickie: It seemed like you and Harrison Smith had a good thing going for a while there...

Manning: Yeah, he's a great talent. He can backpedal for 20 yards with speed, and then plant his back foot and make a break to the ball where hopefully I've put it where it needs to be for him to catch it in stride and take it in for six. But, there's so many talented Defensive Recievers on this roster, that it's gonna be a lot of fun spreading it around. Chad Greenway and I are LARPing buddies, so I said hopefully I can squeeze one past these Giants Offensive Pass Defenders, right into Volgamesh's numbers and he can take one into the endzone too. I also grew up watching Jared Allen's Playhouse, so it's gonna be hard to leave him outta the fun.

Here Manning can be seen audibling to get Chad Greenway into position.

Dickie: Is there anything you want to tell Giants fans out there?

Manning: I mean, I guess I'd just say good luck. Their offense has done a pretty good job picking me off a few times this year, and I know Victor's gonna be out there swatting at some balls, so you know it should be a good game. So, to the Giants Offensive Pass Defenders, I'll just say, try to stop this!

Manning, in an attempt to throw his Barney bib into the camera, managed to punch himself in the testecles. He's listed as hour to hour.

Eli may struggle Monday Night with one his favorite targets, Darren Sharper, no longer with the Vikings.