Where the PSAS now stands she has stood many times before where the forces pitting its franchises against one another in titanic battles that defined what the League was all about; either a Plutocracy giving all political control of the League over to an oligarchy of the wealthy, or a Republic giving supreme control over the government to its member-franchises.
A former League-member (Codename: “Garrett”), who did not survive the Great Putsch of ’09, took up the populist fight and further warned his fellow owners:
Do you really believe that the German people of the early 1930’s wanted their fantasy futbol league ruled by Adolph Hitler to lead their nation into utter ruin? Do you really believe that the Russian people of the early 1920’s wanted their leagues ruled by the murderous Communists for nearly 80 years? Do you really believe that the Chinese people of the late 1940’s wanted their fantasy sports ruled by a communist dictatorship responsible for killing nearly 100 million of them during its nearly half-century rule?
If you are a PSAS member and you believe any of these things you couldn’t be more wrong!
Today, the League lies in the pincers. To those willing to learn the truth, I urge you to pay close attention. On the one hand, there is the shadow money banking elite class led by PSAS Reserve Chairman BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG and his cronies, of which after some brave reporting most league members are now well aware. And on the other side is a new faction (a new threat?) that is developing by way of an organic grassroots campaign: an anti-banking, anti-elitist, anti-establishment fringe whose platform is as radical as it is uncompromising . . . “Waive the waiver”.
Led by the only owner with enough political capital to take on the monied elite, the Phat Girlz stands in diametric opposition to the establishment with a single, powerful message: “We’ve come to take our government back! Tonight there is a waive the waiver tidal wave!”. Recalling Andrew Jackson’s bid to end the 2nd Bank of the US, the new movement seeks a wholesale repeal and abolition of the debt-backed financial system which has come to define this era of increased spending, widespread regulation, and devalued monies in Year 3 of the PSAS . Their message seems to be that we must not believe that somehow, some benevolent commissioner will take care of us, will save us from ourselves on the waiver wire; that we must once again believe in ourselves to drop/add FA’s without the meddling hands of the government.
At rallies all across the League the Phat Girlz’ message is resonating. One owner echoed the Phat Girlz message by stating: “this setting is lame--it should be changed to Sunday through Tuesday waivers”. Another owner picked up on the discontent but then surprisingly misdirected his anger at the NFL Network, which besides the NFL RedZone is one of the holiest of all entities in the PSAS. Disgruntled PSAS fans soon began holding signs and chanting slogans such as “My neighbor got a sick waiver acquisition, and all I got was his lousy payments” and “Refudiate the Thanatoids” to voice their frustrations at a league which no longer seems to be in touch with the common owner.
Case in point: the League rules. This past Thursday, much of the League was shocked to learn that the PSAS Fed had suspended FA transactions at approximately 8:20 EST on Thursday night, effectively declaring a Bank Holiday through Wednesday morning. With nowhere to turn for K’s, DEF’s, and IDP’s, many teams lost their game and their postseason dreams as the League began downsizing in time for the playoffs. League owners far and wide decried their government for failing them in their time of need. Many organizations wondered aloud how the rules had come to be, to which no one really gave a good answer (“my guess is that because there was already a game last night between ATL and BAL”). Thus, the whole process remained a mystery, which was no consolation to the PSAS fans at these rallies holding flags depicting a coiled snaked with the words, “Don’t titrate on me”.
In less than two weeks in office, the Thanatoids Administration already had a second crisis on its hands. To put this in perspective, imagine if Katrina had happened just days after 9/11. With League discontent reaching an all-time high, an insurrection seemed imminent. In response to the growing upheaval, the Thanatoids urged patience, asserting that it needed more time to correct the horrible mistakes of the previous administration. In a peculiar move, the Thanatoids Administration also seemed to blame league owners themselves for not reading League bylaws: “I would like to point out that it is the responsibility of all players to read and understand the settings as they were set out at the beginning of the season.” This had the effect of making the Thanatoids seem cold, unfeeling, and out of touch. Meanwhile, the Phat Girlz quickly began to rally support for its anti-banking agenda by idealizing the League’s first seasons and its Founding Fathers, “This is no longer the PSAS of my youth.” In one final stinging salvo aimed directly at the power establishment, the Phat Girlz struck to the heart of the conflict between the banking elite and his populist movement by stating, “Some people have jobs with computers that block sports games.” Obviously this remark was directed at the League elites since computers that do not block sports has been their favorite weapon for league domination since ab initio.
Most likely, this controversial League rule was passed in the dead of night by the invisible hands of the special interests which have come to dominate the subversive politics of the League. As one League lobbyist once put it, “Let’s hurry up and pass the League rules, so we can read what’s in them!” Of course, many conspiracy theories abounded as they often do. Some believe that the fmr. Commish had foreknowledge of the impending banking collapse down to the minute, or worse, that the fmr. Commish had engineered the collapse in order to gain a leg up in his quest for 3 straight playoff appearances. In essence, that the fmr. Commish left a ticking time bomb which would discredit the succeeding government. Based on records of the transactions leading up to the 8:20pm EST collapse, which indicate a flurry of activity, one should only dismiss these theories at their own peril.
The new Phat Girlz-led grassroots opposition could not come at a worse time for PSAS Reserve Chairman, BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG, appointed by fmr. Commish el mundo but then conspicuously retained by the Thanatoids Administration much like his hero, Larry Summers. Given the whispers of the long-rumoured quantitative easing program meant to aid certain cash-strapped owners through continued implementation of Keynesian economic principles, the Waive the Waiver movement must be defeated if BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG is to remain in power. BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG lost a golden opportunity to change the hearts and minds of the League when the Phat Girlz gave a royal spanking to BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG in last weekend’s games. Almost assuredly BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG will now have to resort more secretive means to effect change.
Interestingly, reports out of the Kremlin also indicate that the Thanatoids may be turning against his bankster “masters” by a rumoured appointment of a chief regulator to oversee PSAS’s financial industry, called a “poke in the eye” to the PSAS moneyed elite classes. If these reports are true, BLDGDW3LL1NGTH1NK1NG may have to pump PSAS currency into the Thanatoids opposition to challenge what his cronies call “The Thanatoid’s populist policymaking”. All of this is made even more confusing by the fact that the Phat Girlz may have already been co-opted the old guard conservatives. How else does one explain the populist leader’s PR gaffe, “God damn iPad ruined my aggressive point”. In addition, when pressed why the Phat Girlz were so adamant about their anti-waiver stance when they had just obtained a kicker for over $18,000, thereby allowing them to fill in every roster position for last Sunday’s games, the Phat Girlz GM remained silent.
Of course, most of the League remains blissfully unaware of the incremental changes that are occurring before their very eyes and will determine their futures. They are content to stare mindlessly into the waiver wire, hypnotized by its promises of success and glory only a click of a mouse away. In truth, however, the League lies on a tightrope on the edge of being, and at any time may fall into the abyss without even the slightest opposition from the masses. Dehumanized by the power structures which give them false symbols and false gods, they are asleep although they act as though they are awake.
It is still possible to avoid this nightmare with timely action.
no doubt all the former purged robot teams echo this sentiment
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