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Monday, November 8, 2010

BREAKING NEWS: Massive Scandal Threatens to Shake League to its Core

It has not been a smooth first week of transition for the Thanatoids Administration. Barely a week in office the Thanatoids have been accused of staging a postmodern coup and now this, potentially the biggest scandal in PSAS history since the Great Drop/Add Scandal of December ’09. Details are scarce, but the Pre-Socratic Daily News has learned that The Pelican Brief managed to pull off some unprecedented chicanery in the minutes leading to kickoff yesterday, 11/7/10. Here is the timeline as far as we know it:

11:54am EST: The Pelican Brief adds Randy McMichael (TE) SD and drops Darrius Heyward-Bey (WR) OAK

12:01pm EST: The Pelican Brief adds Joel Dreessen (TE) HOU and drops Randy Michael (TE) SD

Approximately at this time The Pelican Brief updates their team slogan: “Dreessen for the win.

12:44pm EST: The Pelican Brief adds Randy McMichael (TE) SD and drops Joel Dreessen (TE) HOU

Approximately at this time The Pelican Brief updates their team slogan: “Scratch that--indecision for the win.

"Scratch that"?

Of glaring note is the fact that when the Pelican Brief dropped Randy McMichael in favor of Joel Dreessen at 12:01pm EST, McMichael is listed as a Free Agent, which is in direct contravention of league bylaws concerning the waiver wire. According to these bylaws, a dropped player is protected by waivers for exactly 3 days following the drop, allowing each team to bid for stated dropped player fairly according to FAAB blind bidding rules that were determined prior to the season. Approximately 300+ players have been dropped by league franchises so far this season and all have been properly designated as on waivers following the drop, except on one single occasion besides the transaction currently in question. On September 2nd, 2010 players were reassigned to teams in accordance with a trade between Vickskennel.com and el mundo pequeno made on draft day. Only through commissioner controls was this transaction possible in order to evade the waiver wire rules.

Yesterday, however, it appears The Pelican Brief pulled a fast one and it is unclear whether the commissioner knew, or should have known, of the questionable transaction. All of this is even more suspicious given that at 12:12pm EST on 11/07/10 BldgDW1LL!NGTh1nk1ng added Donald Brown (RB) ID and dropped Chad Henne (QB) MIA. Henne, of course, was designated to go to waivers after having been dropped. This happened between the times in which McMichael was mysteriously dropped into the Free Agent pool, allowing him to be reacquired by the same team that dropped him mere minutes before! One is left wondering how The Pelican Brief was enabled to drop a player in to the Free Agent pool whereas division rival BDT was not. It simply does not add up how The Pelican Brief was allowed to add the same player within the span of an hour.

Not surprisingly, Randy McMichael had a banner day filling in for the injured Antonio Gates, also owned by The Pelican Brief, recording 2 touchdowns and 14 fantasy points. The Pelican Brief is currently in an important battle with Revenge of the Sith with critical playoff ramifications. The Pelicans are currently up by 23 points, although the Revenge has two players set to play tonight.

The ultimate question to be determined, of course, is whether the 14 points by Randy McMichael are legitimate, or were the result of gross malfeasance. Revenge of the Sith, already snakebit once by Yahoo scoring corrections robbing his organization of a victory, may lose this game based on the Pelican’s underhanded TE titration. The Daily News briefed an anonymous fantasy source on this issue, who stated “Absolute scandal afoot. No way should he have been able to pick him up again. full scale investigation is in order - no stone left unturned. immediate corruption from the new commish. Inmates are running the asylum!!!”.

Make no mistake, this scandal could go right to the top if it is determined that the Commissioner signed off on the shady deal. At the very least, however, it appears Randy McMichael’s 14 points are tainted. It will be very interesting whether the new Commissioner takes a proactive approach and nullifies the 14 points, or allows the tainted points to stand. Revenge of the Sith’s playoff dreams and League-wide integrity hang in the balance. An investigation is ongoing.

3 comments:

  1. Official Statement from Shaun Boyle, GM/President of The Pelican Brief:

    --

    Concerning the transaction in question--I acted alone without any approval from or conversation with the current commissioner. Any allegations that I acted with the commissioner are false.

    When Antonio Gates was declared 'inactive' on Sunday morning, I scrambled to find a replacement. Initially I did pick up Randy McMichael but then dropped him in favor of Joel Dreessen. This pickup was based on advice given on the television program "Fantasy Football Now." Shortly after picking up Dreessen, I had a change of heart ("indecision" if you will) and picked up Randy McMichael again. In picking up Randy McMichael for the second time, he was designated as a Free Agent when I went to drop Dreessen.

    I never intended to "game the system" and I'm prepared to cooperate with any "official" investigation.

    The Pelican Brief--as an organization--has and always will stand for what is right and true.

    Signed,

    Shaun Boyle
    GM/President
    The Pelican Brief
    --

    ReplyDelete
  2. The investigation has concluded. In spite of uncovering some disturbing connections between Randy McMichael and Rex Grossman, no wrongdoing has been found.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "....unfounded reports...." SNIP
    ---
    ".....a video....has been mentioned...."

    "...forthcoming release could.....shed light...."

    ReplyDelete